


The Matchmaker

by karasunotsubasa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, Birthday Presents, Birthday Sex, Birthday Smut, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Butt Plugs, Childhood pictures, Clothes Shopping, Crack, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dirty Talk, Drugs, Eating Together, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fancy date, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time Together, Flirting, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Kags makes an appearance, Kissing, Kuroken friendship - Freeform, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, MAKE WAY FOR BEST BRO BOKUTO, Making Up, Mild Smut, Phone Calls & Telephones, Phone Sex, Possible OOC-ness, Presents, Smut, Subtle flirting, TsukiHina friendship, Waiter!Kuroo, a bit more insight into hina's past, a lil bit of fluff, also it's time for MEET THE PARENTS DRAMA, also married for real, and hina just takes no bullshit, and so does yachi, aone's a pro player, bartender!mattsun, blowjob, bokuto is the best wingman of life, diamond butt plus to be exact, dinner with kuroo's parents, drunk!hina, enter THE MATCHMAKER, everything is shameless in this fic I swear, hina is 35, hina meets kuroo's friends, hints at non-con, his mom tries really hard, jealous Kuroo, kenma and hina are cousins, kenma is the best friend tbh, kuroo and yachi alone together equals trouble, kuroo doesn't handle it well, kuroo is 2 years older than kenma, kuroo is 23, kuroo is a shamless fanboy for aone, kuroo knows how to make his man swoon, kuroo's dad is not a nice person, kuroo's father is an asshat, kuroo's past, make-up sex, married/divorced hina, mattsun teasing kuroo bc he's a lil shit, meeting hina's godson, mentions of hinayachi, mentions of noya and tanaka - Freeform, money arrangement, more awkward conversations, more to come in later chapters, movie date, older hina, or maybe not really, pov switching, shameless flirting, shameless fluff, shopping together, sugar baby kuroo, sugar daddy hina, they are still best friends tho, tsukkiyama own a restaurant together bc they're married af, waiter!makki, watching a match together, yamahina friendship, younger kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:30:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 73,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6914734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunotsubasa/pseuds/karasunotsubasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard to be alone and happy, so when an opportunity presents itself in the form of his cousin's best friend, Shouyou says fuck it and goes along with it, except... he doesn't really know what he's signing himself up for. Or how much it'll cost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyy I'm finally posting the first chapter of this massive au I've worked my butt off to write, so enjoy it my friends, I hope you'll give it a chance ^u^)b

Shouyou hated family gatherings. He used to love them when he was a kid, all the preparations and the presents and the sheer excitement that hung in the air along with the savoury smell of cooking. But the older he got, the more disillusioned he had become, and by the time he was an adult it only seemed like a bother to him. Now that he was thirty-five, he could have weaselled out of most of them by pretending to have work or some important business to take care of, but when it came to Christmas, he really couldn't use that as an excuse. Especially when his mother's frowning face made the guilt pang strongly in his chest, just as it did when he was still a child.

So not really feeling the festive mood, and being overall disinterested in socializing, Shouyou stood off to the side, drinking eggnog and brooding about his miserable life.

He was thirty-five, divorced, no children. His wife had left him, and Shouyou couldn't really blame her. He was gay. And his wife was the first one to notice, even though Shouyou hadn't even accepted it himself at that time. There were no hard feelings between them, they even stayed friends. Shouyou knew that it was for the best. Even if his sexual orientation wasn't the problem, he wasn't a good husband, not by far. And Hitoka deserved so much better.

She remarried – to one of his former teammates, no less – and had a child, a small chubby angel that he was the godfather of. It was kind of amusing and also a great deal ironic that the only child in his life would be his ex-wife's kid. But Shouyou didn't really mind, little Hide stole his heart with a single smile the first time they met.

He was happy for them from the bottom of his heart and yet... There was a slightly bitter tilt to his lips in his every smile because _they were happy_. And he wasn't. He had a good job and a lot of savings from the time he played volleyball professionally, but money couldn't buy what he so desperately craved.

He was coming home to an empty house, the silence greeting him with a dark embrace.

He was sleeping in a much too large bed, alone between the cold sheets, the chill of loneliness seeping into his very bones.

He was waking up alone, too, making a breakfast for one, or just skipping it altogether because it was too much trouble.

And then he worked long after hours just so he wouldn't have to come back to his empty house, empty bed, empty life. Day by day, month by month, the same thing repeating for years on end. And Shouyou was tired of it.

He sighed into his cup. Even at times like these, when the whole family got together, he couldn't find his place. He supposed he got so used to living alone that being around so many people for such a long period of time outside of work made him slightly uncomfortable. Especially when all they talked about was kids and who got engaged to whom. Shouyou cringed.

His eyes trailed over to Natsu, his beautiful younger sister, who was now showing off her new engagement ring to anyone willing to listen. Shouyou smiled a tiny smile, happy for her, but at the same time bitter.

"You're alone again?" a quiet voice next to him brought Shouyou back to his senses. He blinked and then smiled.

"What can I say, Kenma," Shouyou shrugged. "I'm just too busy to date."

Kenma only hummed, pressing himself against the wall next to Shouyou. He busied himself with his phone, and even though they were no longer speaking, his silently comforting presence somehow made Shouyou relax. Kenma was always like that, even as a child: quiet, but incredibly attentive. Shouyou liked that about him. At least there was one person whose company wasn't a bother.

"You know," Kenma started without looking up from his phone. "I have a friend... I could hook you up."

Shouyou chuckled, amused. "And how old is your friend? Your age?"

Kenma had just turned twenty-one that year, and frankly in Shouyou's eyes, he was still the same kid he had been at eighteen. And it was waaaay too young for Shouyou to even consider.

"He's actually two years older than me," Kenma said as if he didn't know what Shouyou was hinting at. "And he needs some cash. So if you're willing to spend some, I'm sure you'll work something out."

Shouyou stared at him in open-mouthed shock. "You're joking, right?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

Kenma turned his face to him, an eyebrow raised and expression far too serious for what he was saying. But then again, you could never tell with Kenma. He could be telling the world's most hilarious joke and his face would be as impassive as if he was reciting a weather forecast.

Shouyou laughed awkwardly. No way was Kenma serious. But the eyes that looked into Shouyou's own were sharp, as sharp as shards of broken glass, piercing through him as easily as glass cut skin.

Shouyou was thirty-five, divorced, had no children. He worked too much and got home to an empty house and boredom. The routine of his life crawled under his skin and he knew he was falling prey to his age.

Laughter from the other side of the room startled him a little and before he knew what he was doing, he looked into Kenma's eyes. With his heart thrumming in his ears, he murmured, "Okay."

And he sealed his fate.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou rolled over when his phone chimed, groaning. It was almost 2am and he had been trying to fall asleep for at least an hour now, but nothing worked. Frustrated, and in a bad mood, he picked his phone, deciding it was better than tossing around uselessly. Squinting at the bright screen, he noticed the sender and his scowl lessened slightly.

" _found you a new daddy_ " the text said and Tetsurou had to read it twice more to fully comprehend its meaning.

His head, now clear of all sleep-related thoughts, exploded with questions that he couldn't even voice. He stared at the phone in stunned silence, the clock on his desk ticking the seconds away loudly.

" _wut how why wtf kenma???_ "

His fingers flashed across the keyboard. What the hell was Kenma thinking? It wasn't that Tetsurou didn't appreciate the gesture and his willingness to help, but these things were delicate. And where would Kenma even find someone like that?

The answer to his last question came in a next message.

" _calm down, hes my cousin. 35 and well off so I thought u guys should meet_ "

Tetsurou breathed through his nose. It wasn't much information. He knew that he could trust Kenma and that his friend would never set him up with anyone dangerous, but that lack of information, of leverage he could use if anything happened made him feel uncertain. And uncertainty wasn't something Tetsurou dealt well with.

" _is he even gay? single? come on, u can't expect me to jump into it just bc u say so_ "

Forcing his mind to work, Tetsurou tried to piece together the bits he had heard about Kenma's family over the years. He remembered a cousin being mentioned, but apart from that... All he knew was that Kenma liked the guy. And that he gave really good and expensive gifts. If that was anything to go by, Tetsurou could work with it. But...

His phone chimed and he eagerly unlocked it to read the message.

" _gay. single. yes I can._ "

Tetsurou grit his teeth. The sheer nerve of that little–

" _ur not gonna tell me anything r u_ "

" _no_ "

Tetsurou cursed under his breath, ready to throw his phone at the wall. He was curious now, god damn Kenma. He made him interested and then just left him hanging like that. Tetsurou felt like he should just ignore him and his cousin.

" _just meet up with him one time and then u can decide if u want this or not_ "

Tetsurou groaned. He was too curious now, so he knew he would succumb to the temptation, but before that happened, he needed to sleep on it. And think. He needed to think. Long and hard, about the little traitor that was his best friend.

" _if this doesn't pan out, ur taking me out drinking_ "

He could almost see Kenma rolling his eyes. A smirk crossed his features when the only reply was a short " _fine_ ".

 

* * *

 

It was surreal, Tetsurou thought as he stepped into the small cafe not far from his university. In the morning after that conversation with Kenma he woke up absolutely convinced that the whole thing was just a dream, but a very real chain of texts in his inbox proved him wrong. He still couldn't believe it. After the last time had gotten rather ugly, Kenma had made him promise to stop the sugar baby life and it was exactly because of that that Tetsurou got a job as a waiter in a bar, but... To think that Kenma would be the one to come to him with an offer...

Of course, Tetsurou tried to fish out some information from him, but Kenma remained tight-lipped as if he knew the less he'd say, the more curious Tetsurou would get. And oh boy, he was curious alright.

He felt a nervous clench of his insides – he wouldn't call it butterflies just because it felt more like crows with their wings flapping and tickling, but beaks ripping into the flesh, careless about how much it actually hurt. His muscles were wound up tight and it was only the sheer strength of his will that kept him from running away. That and his unhealthy curiosity, which he now cursed vehemently in the sanctuary of his mind.

Kenma acted as the link between him and his cousin, passing messages back and forth, and two weeks later, well after the New Years, Tetsurou was fighting down his nerves and looking around the cafe in search of the person he was supposed to meet. Kenma's description of 'he looks like a literal sun, you can't miss him' didn't help much... or so he thought. It was only for a second when his eyes fell on a man who was smiling up at one of the waitresses, but suddenly Tetsurou knew what Kenma was talking about.

His hair was ginger and bright, a lovely shade of orange framing his face, some strands shining like gold and copper in the winter sunlight that fell into the room through the window. The eyes were a lively, molten amber that swirled warmly and almost glowed when he smiled. And the smile... It was blinding with how beautiful it was, so full of kindness and joy that Tetsurou shifted awkwardly in place, not sure if he really wanted to step closer to it. But like a planet orbiting its sun, he couldn't stay away. Even if he'd burst into flames from getting too close, he had to bask in that radiance at least once.

With a deep breath, he slowly, reluctantly, made his way to the man's table.

"Um, hi," he said, feeling more awkward than usual in this type of situation. The burning gaze of amber eyes rested on him and Tetsurou felt his cheeks heat up against his will. "You're Kenma's cousin, right?"

The change was momentary. Gone was the smile and glowing eyes, instead, in their place, a slight frown marred the man's face and for the first time Tetsurou could really see his age. He wasn't very old, but the lack of his smile made his face look serious and grave, not at all unappealing, but mature and hardened, and somehow it made Tetsurou's confidence return. This he was familiar with, this he could work with.

Amber eyes glanced at him curiously. "How did you know?"

"I have no idea to be honest," Tetsurou shrugged, chuckling to himself. "All he said was that you look like a literal sun and well, I have to agree."

There was a funny noise, which must have come from the man, and in surprised amusement Tetsurou watched him hide his face in his hands. Maybe this wouldn't be a bad thing, maybe they could get along well. The knot in Tetsurou's stomach unravelled just a little bit.

His heart suddenly full of hope, he hid a grin.

"I can't believe he's still saying that," the man mumbled into his hands and then peered up at Tetsurou. He waved a hand towards the chair on the other end of the table. "Come on, sit."

"Thanks." Tetsurou sent him a smile and plopped down into the chair. "So... What's your name? Kenma didn't tell me anything about you at all, that traitor..."

"I know right? I can't believe him." The man shook his head, sighing slightly in exasperation, but Tetsurou could see the way his eyes sparkled fondly. "My name's Hinata Shouyou. And you are...?"

"Kuroo," he grinned. "Kuroo Tetsurou. Age twenty-three, birthday on November 17th, rooming with a friend, studying law, best friend of your cousin."

"And you're tall," the other pointed out accusingly. "How tall are you?"

Tetsurou laughed. "I'm 190cm."

"Geez, what did they even feed you?" the man groaned, and Tetsurou couldn't help but grin.

The waitress interrupted them when she came by to place small menus before them and Tetsurou only took one glance at the cakes, not really in the mood to eat, to order a simple latte. He was surprised to find Hinata inspecting the list with a serious face and a determined gleam in his eyes. He almost laughed out loud when the man ordered a slice of strawberry shortcake and pouted when the waitress explained that they were all sold out.

"Someone has a sweet tooth," Tetsurou teased.

"Hey, I'm old, but I'm not that old," the man scoffed playfully. "I can handle a slice of cake... or two." And just to prove his point, he ordered a big piece of apple pie.

Tetsurou snickered, "Sure, sure."

They sat in comfortable silence while they waited for their order and when it finally came, Tetsurou watched the man dig into his pie with gusto. It was actually pretty cute how Hinata's amber eyes lit with delight and Tetsurou found himself smiling as he stirred his coffee. Maybe this would all turn out okay...

"So, Hinata-san–" he started, but was soon interrupted.

"Shouyou," the man said, his eyes boring into Tetsurou's with a strange force that he would have never expected from him. Tetsurou's heart skipped a beat, but he wasn't sure if it was the attraction he felt towards the man or his own nerves.

He nodded, swallowing. "Shouyou-san, please tell me a bit about yourself."

There was a hum and Shouyou put another piece of pie in his mouth, chewed, and only then answered.

"I'm thirty-five, my birthday's on June 21st, and obviously I live alone." A small bitter smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he stabbed the small fork into the pie again. Tetsurou frowned a bit. "I work as a journalist in a sports newspaper and I sometimes teach kids volleyball when I have time to spare." Now there was a genuine smile on Shouyou's face, slightly nostalgic but full of warmth and Tetsurou couldn't help but return it. "Oh, and I'm divorced."

Tetsurou almost choked on his own spit. "What? Kenma told me you're single!"

Shouyou chuckled, the sound deep and smooth, and something coiled in Tetsurou's chest.

"Well, technically I am. My wife and I haven't really been together for a long time, even before the divorce."

"But you're... gay, right?" Tetsurou asked a bit awkwardly. Shouyou's reassuring smile helped to settle his nerves, though.

"That was one of the reasons why we split up." There was a sad curl to his lips, and Tetsurou couldn't help but wonder what other reasons there might have been. He quickly dropped that train of thought, however, and focused on why exactly he was there in the first place.

"So how do you want this to work?" Tetsurou asked. Shouyou seemed like a nice guy and since he was Kenma's cousin, Tetsurou could be sure he'd be safe. And he needed cash, desperately. His job just wasn't enough. "Your expectations? Needs?"

The silence was almost palpable as Shouyou stared at his plate, his face tight and guarded. Tetsurou thought the man was prepared to take this step, but the way amber eyes stayed glued to the table, the man deep in thought, made him wonder. Did he really want this? Or was Kenma just being too pushy?

Tetsurou swallowed his doubts.

"Look," he started and Shouyou's eyes flicked up to his face. "If you're nervous or uncomfortable, I'm here to answer all your questions. It's not like we have to just jump into it, you know?" Tetsurou tried to smile reassuringly, but Shouyou didn't relax. "The point of this is to spend time together and have fun, it's not something you can force."

He watched the frown on Shouyou's face disappear as it was replaced by something Tetsurou couldn't quite name. Shouyou sat back with a sigh that was a bit too long and too deep for comfort. Tetsurou could feel his chance at easily earning money slipping away, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to care. After all, this wasn't any sugar daddy he was dealing with – he was Kenma's cousin, almost _family_.

"What am I even doing?" Shouyou mumbled to himself, breaking apart the rest of his pie.

"Having coffee with a friend," Tetsurou answered him with a small smile. "There's no crime in that."

Shouyou shook his head, reluctantly turning back to him. His eyes traced Tetsurou's face slowly and Tetsurou had to force himself not to fidget under the scrutiny.

"You're so young, I shouldn't have even considered this in the first place," Shouyou said softly, and Tetsurou felt the sting of hurt in his chest.

"What does my age have to do with anything?" Tetsurou's eyebrows rose as he looked at the other challengingly. "This was a conscious, adult decision I've made. It shouldn't matter."

Shouyou sat up straight, his eyes a little too gentle, almost tinged with pity. It made Tetsurou want to sneer but he held back.

"Aren't you disgusted that you have to suck up to some old men? Isn't that uncomfortable?" Shouyou asked quietly. "What if your friends or parents see us together? Aren't you afraid?"

Tetsurou shrugged. "I don't care what my parents say and my friends aren't that shallow," he explained curtly. "And you're not the oldest I've been seeing, so no, I'm not uncomfortable."

"Really?" Shouyou blinked at him in surprise and Tetsurou offered him a small smile, however tense it was. "Wow, okay." There was a moment's silence and then Shouyou took a deep breath, "Okay." He looked down at his coffee. "Okay."

Tetsurou's anger softened a bit. "Do you want me to explain how I worked with this before?"

"That would be... nice," Shouyou nodded a tad awkwardly, reaching for his cup and taking a sip of his coffee. He still didn't look at Tetsurou, and Tetsurou didn't know if he was glad for it or not.

"So basically you text or call me when you want, we figure out when to meet and the we just have fun. Afterwards you pay me," he said. "What we do during that time depends totally on you. We can just watch movies at your place or we can do fancy dinners and restaurants, it's your call." He paused for a moment searching for any reaction from the other man, but his face was suddenly impassive. "I'll try to work around your schedule so that we have time to see each other without problems. And when it comes to money there are two options: you can pay me every time we meet or you can pay me weekly or monthly." Tetsurou hummed, drumming his fingers on the table. "I think we should try out the former first, since we don't really know how everything will turn out yet."

"You're really... used to this," Shouyou spoke up and Tetsurou's shoulders tensed at the unvoiced implication.

"I didn't mention this yet, but I'm not in the habit of seeing multiple people at the same time, so if you were wondering, we'd be exclusive," he said a bit coldly, watching how Shouyou winced at his tone.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," Shouyou offered him a small apologetic smile. "It's just that all of this seems so unreal to me..."

It was Tetsurou's turn to sigh.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know," he said. "It's just Kenma's way of looking out for me, but you don't owe either of us anything. It's your choice in the end."

There was a pause in their conversation during which Tetsurou finished his remaining coffee and waited for Shouyou to say something, anything. The other man, however, was only looking into his cup with a pensive frown, the tips of his fingers caressing the smooth porcelain edges. Tetsurou let him think, let him process. This, he was familiar with. He'd seen it before, he even experienced it himself, although from a different angle. The questions running through Shouyou's head were similar to what Tetsurou had at first worried about, too. Can I do this? Is this really okay? What will my friends say, my family?

It took him a while to come to the final decision, and he knew he shouldn't make Shouyou rush into this. When another few minutes passed, Tetsurou signalled one of the waitresses to bring the receipt.

"Think about it as long as you have to," he said when amber eyes turned to him as he stood up to leave. "And then call me." He scribbled his number on a napkin and slid it across the table to Shouyou.

He pulled out his wallet to pay for his coffee, but Shouyou stopped him.

"Wait, let me–"

Tetsurou shook his head with a smile. "Next time," he interjected. "If you're up to it."

And then he left the cafe without looking back, his heart a bit heavy, but hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP  
> chapters should be up once a week and there's a whole 13 of them and LOTS OF PLOT AND ANGST AND FEELS (and smut but shhhhhh for now it's a secret uwu)  
> hope you liked it? leave me a comment below if u have! or u can come pester me on tumblr [@kuroohina](http://kuroohina.tumblr.com/) ^u^)b  
> and please for the love of god don't reblog the posts from the hq rare pair ao3 feed blog on tumblr, reblog the original [from here](http://kuroohina.tumblr.com/post/144689774377/the-matchmaker-113-chapter-1-chapter-2)


	2. Arm candy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy so here I am as promised! this chapter is a bit longer and others will be more or less this length so I hope you have fun reading ;3c

If anyone asked, Tetsurou wasn't checking his phone all the time in hopes of finding a message or a missed call from Shouyou. He was just checking the time. Every five minutes. So what, was it a crime?

He could lie to others, pretend he didn't care, but before himself he couldn't keep up the act. He was disappointed. It's been over a week since they met at the cafe and there was no word from Shouyou yet. Tetsurou supposed that the man needed time, of course he did, but he didn't expect for it to take that long. And slowly the hope that filled his heart after that meeting was melting, leaving only a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

Tetsurou wouldn't say he was hung up on it, but Shouyou seemed like a really nice guy. Not too old, fairly easy to get along with, and actually pretty cute, so all in all, yeah, he was fucking disappointed.

He sighed, checking his phone again. No new messages. Guess he'd have to find another job to get more money...

"Okay, that's enough." Kenma who was walking by his side playing on his phone turned his head to him, pinning him with an annoyed frown. "What's up with you?"

Tetsurou only raised his eyebrows, unsure what his friend was referring to.

"You've sighed 3 times since we left the university building," Kenma pointed out. "What's going on?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't notice," he tried to feed Kenma a smile to focus his attention elsewhere, but the cat-like eyes kept staring back unbothered. Tetsurou waved a careless hand. "It's nothing, really."

He kept walking, even though Kenma stopped.

"Did Shouyou contact you?"

Tetsurou froze, his heart skipping a beat. Slowly, very slowly, he turned to his friend with a tiny scowl on his face.

"How do you know these things?" he demanded. "You're always glued to your phone or games, how do you even _know_ these things? God damn it, Kenma, that's cheating."

Kenma's smile was small but Tetsurou could clearly see how amused his friend was. It made him frown even more because _he was not that obvious okay_. And really, Kenma had no business being that observant.

"I've known you for years, remember?" Kenma said, coming to a stop next to him. "You're easy to read."

"Am not," Tetsurou insisted, mildly offended.

"Are too," Kenma replied as smugly as he ever could. Tetsurou harrumphed indignantly.

They walked a bit in silence towards the campus exit and he prayed that Kenma had dropped the subject, but he wasn't lucky enough.

"He didn't, did he?" Kenma's voice was quiet, but Tetsurou was used to it after all the years they spent together.

His shoulders dropped a bit. "Yeah."

Kenma only hummed in reply going back to fiddling with his phone. Tetsurou didn't pay much attention to it, but when Kenma pressed his phone to his ear Tetsurou's eyes widened and his gut clenched in sudden fear.

Because Kenma never called anyone.

_Never_.

He was scared of calling strangers, anxious about picking up the ringing phone. Tetsurou had never seen him take any calls except those from his mom. And now, now _Kenma was voluntarily calling someone_. Swallowing harshly, Tetsurou realized that he knew who it was.

"Ah, Shouyou?" Kenma's voice quivered a little and Tetsurou wanted to just take the phone out of his hand and stop his suffering. Yet he couldn't. It was mesmerizing to watch Kenma conquer his fears for his sake.

A small lump of unidentified emotions got stuck in Tetsurou's throat.

"Can you pick me up? I'm at campus and the buses have been cancelled. Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah, by the gate. Okay, thanks."

Kenma pressed the end call button, his breathing slightly uneven. His hands shook a little and Tetsurou would bet his body and soul that Kenma's palms were clammy and cold.

"What have you done?" he whispered, shocked and touched at the same time.

Kenma shot him a look that clearly said 'don't _ever_ expect me to do it again' and pulled out his headphones from his pocket, untangling them with clumsy fingers.

"He'll be here in 15 minutes, so just wait here and talk to him," he said, ignoring Tetsurou's question. His voice was coming back to normal, but Tetsurou was still frozen in shock, which Kenma obviously noticed. "Snap out of it, Kuro, your moping was just annoying me, okay? It's not a big deal."

_Not a big deal_. Tetsurou wanted to laugh. Not a big deal, said the guy who almost got panic attacks when people forced him to call someone.

"You're fucking amazing, Kenma," Tetsurou finally found his voice and a huge grin split his face. "I could hug you right now."

"Please don't."

The distaste on Kenma's face was clear and this time Tetsurou laughed openly, patting his friend on the shoulder instead.

"I'll be going home then, have fun."

Kenma gave him a half-hearted wave of his hand and slowly walked away, connecting his headphones to his phone. Tetsurou watched his back, the grin not coming off his face no matter how hard he tried to subdue it.

"Hey, Kenma!" he shouted after his friend, waiting for him to turn. "Thanks!"

Kenma only nodded at him and Tetsurou watched him disappear behind the next corner. It was only five minutes after Kenma left that the high of happiness evened out and Tetsurou saw reason.

And then he started panicking.

Calmly and collectedly on the outside, of course, but he was far from it on the inside. If Shouyou didn't contact him himself, it meant that he didn't want to. It was a conscious decision on his part, so making him come see Tetsurou when he thought he was picking up Kenma was... the lowest of lows. It was disrespectful and tactless, definitely not something Tetsurou would have done himself. And the worst part? It made him look desperate. (And maybe he was, but Shouyou didn't need to know that. _No one_ needed to know that.)

Tetsurou was surprised by the strength of his own feelings, too. He never moped that much about potential daddies, it was just business. Or it used to be. His feelings had never played any role in his 'work', but now he couldn't chase away this strange craving he got around Shouyou.

Was it because the older man was Kenma's cousin? Not really, Tetsurou had a feeling he'd be just as attracted to Shouyou if they had met by accident. Maybe he'd be more cautious because they were strangers, but he knew the pull would still be there.

Was it because of his looks? Part of it, probably, yes. Shouyou was thirty five, but he didn't look older than late twenties. He gave off the impression of a messy-cute young adult, but Tetsurou remembered the steel-hardened gaze of his amber eyes and he knew that there was more to Shouyou than just his looks.

And it thrilled him.

Despite everything he'd been through, he couldn't fight the allure of glimpsing what lied under the surface. Even if he got burned in the process. _Curiosity killed the cat, right_ , he thought a little bitterly.

Was it because of Shouyou's personality? Possibly, again. The man had a sweet tooth, got embarrassed easily, taught kids volleyball in his free time and treated Tetsurou politely, even though he was so much younger. He was sweet, but he was also roughened by life. Sometimes bitter. He was a mystery and it only made Tetsurou's drive to solve this new puzzle stronger.

The only problem was that Shouyou felt more like boyfriend material than sugar daddy material. And Tetsurou wasn't sure, despite all his conflicting feelings, despite the undeniable attraction and the dire need for cash, he wasn't sure he wanted to _date_ him.

Or maybe it was just a matter of time, of getting to know each other better. Tetsurou definitely didn't exclude the possibility of them ending up together intimately, but... After the last time it happened, he was doubly cautious and a little scared of getting involved that deeply. Especially with someone like Shouyou, who had all the potential to hurt far worse than just his pride.

And yet... And yet his heart thrummed in his chest, wild with expectation. He pressed a hand to his chest, feeling the rhythmic pulsing under his fingers. _I have no sense of danger whatsoever_ , he noticed with an annoyed sigh, running a frustrated hand through his messy hair.

He was so focused on calming down his racing heartbeat that he almost missed the car parking not far away from where he was standing. He didn't miss the small silhouette slipping out of it and coming his way, though. Tetsurou forced on a smile, watching Shouyou smile back... and that smile completely caught him off guard. He expected Shouyou to be awkward around him, maybe ashamed? But he wasn't. He was the opposite of that actually. His eyes shone brilliantly in the afternoon sun, smile wide and radiant, and Tetsurou, despite his earlier efforts, felt his heart speed up again.

"Hi," Shouyou greeted him. "Do you know where Kenma is? He wanted me to pick him up, but..." The man trailed off, looking around as if Kenma was hiding in some bush along the campus gate.

Swallowing, Tetsurou offered him an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, Kenma's not here."

"Then why did he call me over?" Shouyou's confused face was cute, and Tetsurou had trouble focusing on his words for a moment.

"He's playing matchmaker," Tetsurou explained. "Again."

He didn't know what exactly he was expecting Shouyou to do, maybe fidget awkwardly and run for it, or brush the whole matter off like a speck of dust from his sleeve, but the man surprised him yet again. Shouyou only rolled his eyes, a small smile curling around his lips.

"Of course he is."

"You're not upset?" Tetsurou asked, curious.

"Why would I be upset?" Shouyou shrugged. And then when Tetsurou continued to look at him, added: "It's just Kenma's way of telling me to finally make up my mind."

"Didn't you already?" Again, Tetsurou was surprised. Shouyou seemed to be caught off guard this time as well. "I mean, it's been over a week so I thought you simply weren't interested," Tetsurou explained. "Was I wrong?"

It was strange how hopeful he was as he tried to gauge the expression on Shouyou's face. Shouyou smiled at him, his eyes dulling down to dark brown in guilt. The hope in Tetsurou's heart wilted.

"Ah, sorry about that," Shouyou said, looking briefly away as if he indeed wanted to run away. "I was busy with work. It always gets hectic around deadlines, so I didn't really have the time to think this through."

"Oh," Tetsurou breathed.

It seemed like all his worries disappeared without a trace, leaving him lightheaded. He was such an idiot to miss the fact that Shouyou could have just been too busy to get back to him. He almost laughed at his own stupidity. He cleared his throat to get rid of the tickling sensation in his throat.

"That's fine, I guess," he replied. "Take more time if you need to, I can wait."

Shouyou shook his head, though.

"It's not going to work that way," he said. "Kenma thinks it's a good idea for us to try and I trust him. Well, as much as I can trust the judgement of a twenty-one year old kid," Shouyou snickered and Tetsurou had half a mind to be offended by it, but his focus was on the meaning of Shouyou's words.

"So you're saying that..." Tetsurou stopped, his heart beating out of his chest.

He had never reacted like this before and if it was anything to go by, he should be even more cautious of getting closer to Shouyou. But the rush of excitement in his veins mulled the logical part of his brain.

"Yeah," Shouyou smiled and it was a beautiful smile, one that Tetsurou couldn't help but return. "Let's do it."

Tetsurou almost didn't believe his ears, but it was real, it was true. And he was happy. He wasn't given much time to relish in it, though.

"So, are you free now?" Shouyou asked all of a sudden, traces of his smile left in his eyes. "I'm starving, so we could grab a bite if you want?"

The words left Tetsurou's mouth before he could think them through. "Yeah, I'm pretty thirsty myself."

Shouyou snorted, his eyes scrunching into tiny slits as he laughed openly. The setting sun bathed his face in oranges and pinks, and for a brief moment Tetsurou believed he caught a glimpse of a blush, but he couldn't be sure because when he blinked it was already gone.

 "Come on," Shouyou said, nodding towards his car.

Tetsurou followed him and as he slipped into the passenger seat he realized that this was all going to be real now. And he couldn't wait. Despite the nagging at the back of his head that told him that maybe this was not such a good idea after all.

 

* * *

 

The engine hummed as Shouyou drove out onto the street. His blood was still coursing fast through his veins and Tetsurou's presence at his side didn't help. Their elbows brushed from time to time when Shouyou reached over to shift gears and electric shocks travelled up and down his arm, raising goosebumps in their wake. It was ridiculous to feel this amount of attraction towards someone he had only met twice, and even more if he considered Tetsurou's age, but...

"So is there any place you'd like to go specifically?" he asked to take his mind off the treacherous thoughts currently filling it. "Or should I pick something?"

He spared Tetsurou a brief glance. Tetsurou was biting his lip in thought, seemingly unaware of it, and Shouyou couldn't help but think it cute.

"As long as there's a lot to eat for a good price I don't really care," Tetsurou finally said, shrugging.

Shouyou grinned. "I know just the place."

He drove in silence and Tetsurou seemed to be preoccupied by his own thoughts, but the atmosphere was light. It didn't bother either of them and by the time Shouyou pulled into the parking lot of a small family restaurant his heart had calmed down from its earlier racing.

They entered through the glass door, the warmth of the inside a pleasant caress against the winter cold. There weren't many customers, though, and Shouyou was thankful for that.

"Grab us a table and I'll be right back," he said to Tetsurou.

He grabbed two menus, smiled at one of the waiters in greeting and made his way back. He slipped into the seat opposite of Tetsurou, sliding the menu to him over the table and catching the interest in the other's gold eyes.

"I've never been here before," Tetsurou said conversationally and Shouyou hummed.

"My friends are the owners," he winked, flipping open the menu even though he knew it by heart.

"Does that mean you get discounts?" Tetsurou teased with a small smirk.

Shouyou snorted. "More like they're trying to rip off me as much as they can."

Tetsurou snickered, opening his own menu and looking through it.

"Okay, so what's good here?" he asked, eyes scanning the items on the list and then glancing up, right into Shouyou's own.

They were yellow-gold and attentive, slightly amused and shining in the last rays of the setting sun falling in through the window next to their table. Shouyou had trouble focusing for a moment, caught off guard. A spark seemed to pass between them, but then Tetsurou blinked and the weird tension was gone. Shouyou's shoulders relaxed and he released the breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"Everything," he said. "The chef's a jerk, but he knows how to cook, I have to give him that."

"You know the chef too?"

"I wish I didn't, trust me," Shouyou grimaced, but Tetsurou's smile only sharpened at that.

"I feel like there's a story there," he said, leaning forward curiously.

"Too many, you have no idea," Shouyou groaned, putting his face in his hands.

"Do you have any embarrassing ones?" Tetsurou's grin could be heard even in his voice. Shouyou didn't raise his head to look at him. "Come on, spill. I'll tell you something in return."

Shouyou groaned again. And then he told him of that one time in college when he roomed with the chef's boyfriend. He told him how he walked in on them just as they were about to have sex, which ended up with the very embarrassed roommate, bright red in the face Shouyou and a very angry, very horny boyfriend of said roommate, also known as the future chef. In revenge, the guy added laxatives to Shouyou's food and Shouyou spent the next day dying in the bathroom.

"And it's not funny, okay," he finished, watching Tetsurou clutch his stomach as he laughed and laughed and laughed. A corner of Shouyou's mouth twitched. Tetsurou's laughter sounded so much different now that he was relaxed and Shouyou actually liked the sound of it.

Before he could turn the conversation around and pry an equally embarrassing story out of Tetsurou, the very same roommate stopped by their table.

"You haven't been here in a while," Yamaguchi said, poking Shouyou in the shoulder with a pen. "Another deadline?"

"Yeah, sorry," Shouyou gave him an apologetic smile. "Did your better half miss me?"

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes at him, and Shouyou's grin widened. He then turned to Tetsurou and conspiratorially whispered:

"This is the roommate."

Tetsurou's eyes widened briefly as they travelled over to Yamaguchi. "Um, hi."

"Hello," Yamaguchi greeted him with a polite smile. "And you are...?"

"Kenma's friend," Shouyou explained. "We met the other week."

"Your cousin?" Shouyou nodded and Yamaguchi hummed, tapping his pen on the small notepad he was holding in his other hand. "That's nice. What are you two going to have then?"

"The usual for me," Shouyou said and Yamaguchi nodded with a smile before turning to Tetsurou expectantly.

"I have no idea to be honest," Tetsurou shrugged. "Everything sounds good."

"How about beef ragu with polenta?" Yamaguchi proposed. "It's today's special."

"I have no idea what you just said to me and what language it was in, but sure, let's go with that." Tetsurou smiled, flipping the menu shut.

Yamaguchi added their preferred drinks to the order, took their menus and then disappeared to relay it to the chef, leaving them alone. He was back within a minute with a glass of coke for Tetsurou and a cup of tea for Shouyou. When he left again, Shouyou looked directly into Tetsurou's eyes, a corner of his lips curling in a smirk.

"Don't think I forgot," he said. "You owe me an embarrassing story."

Tetsurou fiddled with the straw in his coke, flipping around the ice cubes inside the glass.

"It's not really embarrassing, but..." he said and lifted his hand to tug at a lock of his hair. "You see this mess? It didn't use to be like that," Tetsurou paused and looked Shouyou straight in the eye. "Don't laugh."

Shouyou sent him a gentle smile, nodding in agreement. He knew very well how it felt to have people laugh at things you were insecure about. He'd never do that to anyone.

Tetsurou relaxed marginally and continued with the story.

"When I was like maybe five or six, I don't really remember," Tetsurou's brow furrowed in thought and Shouyou noticed that even when frowning he was exceptionally good looking. He stirred his tea to distract himself and focus on the story.

"Either way, one of the kids on the block told me this one story," Tetsurou continued. "He heard it from his older brother and it was full of gore, so of course little me was interested. It was about those little parasites that crawl into your ears or nose, eat your brain and then turn you into a human killing parasite yourself."

"Yum," Shouyou commented, making Tetsurou smile.

"I know, right?"

There was a twinkle in golden eyes and Shouyou silently prayed that Tetsurou was joking. Horror stuff wasn't exactly Shouyou's forte. He suppressed a shiver, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Basically, the kid got me scared shitless and I decided it was a great idea to sleep on my face with two pillows pressed to my ears as a precaution. For a few years." Tetsurou grimaced. "The messy hair wasn't a problem for a kid, but as I grew up my parents started expecting me to look somewhat presentable. I was stubborn though, so the pillows stayed. And then when I finally stopped believing in the parasites, we got the loudest neighbours in the history of ever." Tetsurou's voice was whiny now and Shouyou couldn't suppress a small smile. "So again, the pillows. And it was just an endless cycle of things that were too loud to ignore and after that it just kind of became a habit, I guess?"

Tetsurou stabbed his ice as if it was its fault. "And now it's a mess that no one can do anything about."

"I like it, though," Shouyou said, pulling out the teabag and setting it on the side. "Your hair."

There was a moment of stunned surprise.

"Really?" Tetsurou's voice was a bit unconvinced.

"Yeah." Shouyou glanced up at him, smiling. "It looks really silky."

He caught the slight pink colouring Tetsurou's cheeks along with a mumbled "Thanks," and his smile widened. The kid was cute, much cuter than Shouyou believed him to be after that first meeting a week ago. Maybe this whole sugar baby deal wasn't so bad, after all.

Their food arrived a moment later and they dug in, breaking the conversation in order to fill their stomachs first. Shouyou watched Tetsurou take the first bite of his ragu, the expression of pure bliss crossing over his features.

"Holy shit, this is good," Tetsurou half-moaned and Shouyou's heart skipped a beat.

The sound and Tetsurou's face made him think of things he should not be thinking, definitely not at the dining table, and definitely not about a guy more than ten years younger than him. It was suddenly a bit too hot in the restaurant and Shouyou pulled up his sleeves, busying himself with his own food to get his mind out of the gutter. _It's never going to happen_ , he told himself, _get real, Shouyou_.

"Told you," he said, his voice slightly raspy and he cleared his throat before starting on his chicken and rice enchilada casserole.

"Now I know I can trust your taste in food," Tetsurou nodded as if Shouyou had passed some secret test of his.

They ate in silence for a while. Their plates were half empty by the time Tetsurou spoke up again.

"So what else can I trust you on?"

Shouyou blinked. "Huh?"

"I mean," Tetsurou grinned. "What are you good at? In life?"

Shouyou paused for a moment. His first answer would be volleyball, but... He sighed.

"I'm a journalist, so there's that," he said. "And I write for Volleyball Monthly so I guess... volleyball."

"I used to play in high school," Tetsurou caught on the topic. "I was a middle blocker and, if I can say so myself, I was pretty damn good at it."

"I bet, you're freaking tall," Shouyou teased. "What would you say if I told you that I was one, too?"

"You played volleyball?" An excited spark made Tetsurou's golden eyes brighter and it brought out Shouyou's smile as well. "Wait, a middle blocker? You?"

"Hey, that's rude," Shouyou pouted a little. "Just because I'm not as tall as you doesn't mean I can't play that position. I was actually good at it, even though my real dream was to be a spiker."

"Okay, okay, let's say I believe you," Tetsurou leaned forward in his seat, forgetting his ragu for a moment. "But how did you even reach over the net?"

Shouyou narrowed his eyes. "And how did you?"

"I jumped, obviously."

"Well, _obviously_ , I did too," Shouyou said a bit mockingly. Tetsurou's face clearly said he wasn't convinced and Shouyou huffed in indignation.

"I need proof."

"Fine, I'll show you a picture next time," he said, finishing his casserole.

"Awww, baby pictures," Tetsurou grinned, getting back to his food. "Bring a few, I wanna see!"

Shouyou laughed, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "No way, why would I ever show those to you?"

"Come on, I'll trade you mine," Tetsurou offered and well, Shouyou did want to see how he looked as a baby.

Before he could answer, Yamaguchi came over to ask if everything was alright and if they wanted anything else.

"It's perfect as usual," Shouyou said with a smile. "If only your boyfriend's personality was as nice as his food..."

"I'll make sure to tell him," Yamaguchi smirked at him. He turned to Tetsurou. "And how did you like the ragu?"

"I haven't eaten something this good in," Tetsurou paused, "well, forever, I guess." He grinned and Yamaguchi smiled back at him.

"I'm glad," he said and looked between them. "Do you want one check or should I split it?"

"One," Shouyou said and Yamaguchi nodded.

"Wait, I can pay–" Tetsurou started, but Shouyou stopped him.

"We had a deal, remember?" When Tetsurou looked at him in slight confusion, he explained: "We agreed that the next time I'll pay. This is next time."

Tetsurou's eyes lit with recognition.

"Okay," he agreed with a small smile and something tugged at Shouyou's heart warmly. He ignored the weird feeling and smiled back before turning to Yamaguchi.

"One check."

"I'll be right back with it then," his friend nodded and walked away.

Shouyou watched his back for a while, thinking of how to phrase his next question. Tetsurou must have noticed his hesitation, because he was the one to speak first.

"What is it?" he asked. "You can ask me anything. Except my address, I don't give out those on first dates," he joked.

A corner of Shouyou's mouth lifted despite himself. Somehow, Tetsurou's presence was comforting and relaxing enough that Shouyou felt it was really okay to just ask without tiptoeing around the subject. Maybe this welcoming attitude was what made him consider being a sugar baby in the first place...

"How much?" He needn't say more, Tetsurou immediately understood.

"It depends on what we do," Tetsurou explained, completely unbothered. "Stuff like hand holding and cuddling costs extra, and kisses..." Something flashed behind Tetsurou's eyes and Shouyou narrowed his in thought. It gave him a bad feeling. "I'll hold back on those, because we don't know each other that well yet. So it's not a no, it's a maybe for the future."

"That sounds reasonable," Shouyou nodded.

"I can text you the whole list later, if you want," Tetsurou offered.

"That'd be great, thanks." Shouyou smiled.

The whole concept of paying for things like holding hands was still abstract to him, but Tetsurou was treating it as if it was the most normal thing in the world and Shouyou found himself a bit out of place. Maybe it was just a generation gap, maybe he was just getting old... or maybe not. He didn't even know himself anymore.

Yamaguchi chose that moment to bring him the check and left, taking their dishes with him without a word. Shouyou left a big tip, smirking to himself about how Tsukishima always scowled at him when he did that. When he looked up, Tetsurou was finishing his coke, slurping the last remnants of it from the bottom of his glass.

"So how much do you take for a dinner date?" It still tasted weird on his tongue, but Shouyou was gaining courage.

"Usually ten thousand yen, unless it's something like dinner with homophobic parents, inquisitive friends or people who you hate and in whose noses you want to rub your new arm candy." Tetsurou winked at him. "Then it's twenty, and depending on how much I have to put up with it might go higher."

"Arm candy?" Shouyou laughed.

"What, you don't think I'm pretty enough?" Tetsurou pretended to be hurt. "I'm offended."

"I wouldn't say you're pretty," Shouyou said with a grin that was sharpening with every word until he was smirking. "More along the lines of handsome and hot, but what do I know. I'm just an old man." He shrugged, taking delight in the surprise and slight gleam of embarrassment in Tetsurou's eyes as he looked away from Shouyou.

"So it's ten thousand for today, right?" Shouyou asked, opening his wallet again, but Tetsurou shook his head.

"Count today as a free sample. You paid for the food, so let's call it even," he said. "But..."

"But?" Shouyou asked when Tetsurou paused.

Tetsurou pulled out his phone and slid it over the tabletop to Shouyou, grinning.

"I want your number," he finished.

Shouyou rolled his eyes just the tiniest bit at Tetsurou's antics, but took the device and typed his number and name in.

"It's good that you asked," he said, returning the phone. "I sometimes forget about stuff like this, so you can just text or call if I don't."

His phone chimed only a second later and Shouyou opened the text from Tetsurou, laughing at the single cat face emoticon he found there. Tetsurou only grinned back, eyes glinting in amusement, and Shouyou had to admit his heart skipped a bit. Tetsurou looked so nice smiling like that...

He shook himself out of it, standing.

"Come on, let's go," he said, still amused.

Tetsurou followed him and they left the restaurant, the wind ruffling their hair. The sky was darkening by minute and the street lamps started blinking on. The air smelled of winter, a little harsh and frosty, but pleasant nonetheless.

"Do you want a lift?" Shouyou asked, turning to Tetsurou, but the other just shook his head.

"I'll take a bus, but thanks," Tetsurou said, and Shouyou nodded.

"Be careful on your way back," he added.

"You too," Tetsurou smiled. "Hope to hear from you soon."

And then he was walking away. Shouyou stood there for a moment, letting the wind caress his cheeks before he made his way to his car. He closed the door shut and sat there in the silence, staring at nothing in particular, his thoughts racing too fast for him to comprehend. A minute passed and a strangled, unintelligible sound left his mouth as he bumped his forehead against the edge of the steering wheel.

_What did I get myself into?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really hina, what did you get yourself into *ugly laughter*  
> hope you liked it?? drop me a comment!


	3. Salted caramel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> with a slight delay bc I was v busy this week, but here it is! get ready for the cutes ;3c

Work was usually something Shouyou loved and put first before anything else, sometimes even such simple things like eating or showering. He could spend long hours just sitting at his desk and scrolling through thousands of pictures of volleyball players in action that were taken at the matches he did or didn't attend. He never minded the assignments he got, not even those that sent him out of town for weeks at a time – he was just happy that he was doing something that he loved, even as indirectly as just writing about it.

However, it all changed, when he met Tetsurou. He still loved his work, but when an hour ago his boss called him into his office to tell him that he was to cover an exhibition game that two of Shouyou's favourite teams were to play in Osaka, Shouyou wasn't as excited for it as he'd usually be. His relationship with Tetsurou was in the open and he wondered if his absence could indirectly create more problems along the way. But he couldn't – and didn't want to – say no to his boss. This was work, while Tetsurou was... well, for the lack of a better word, pleasure.

It made Shouyou feel a little guilty, though. So to make up for it, or maybe just to clear his conscience, he dialled Tetsurou's number during his lunch break. It rang four times before a groggy voice on the other side said, "Yeah?"

Shouyou smiled to himself. "Did I wake you? Sorry about that."

"Nah, 's fine," Tetsurou mumbled, but Shouyou could clearly hear him yawn. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "What's up?"

"I'm leaving town for a week," Shouyou said without beating around the bush. "It's a work thing, so I can't say no," he explained, not really sure why he was doing it. "But that's not what I'm calling for. Do you want to meet up today? Dinner?"

There was some rustling on the other end and Shouyou guessed that Tetsurou was getting out of bed. For a brief moment his mind went down the gutter as he wondered what he slept in... a t-shirt that rolled up on his stomach when he turned, or just plain boxers with his chest bare and back out in the open, or maybe naked–

"Ah, shit," Tetsurou cursed and Shouyou twitched slightly, the fingers on his phone slipping a bit. He tightened his hold on the device, heart beating wildly against his ribcage as he tried to get his head back into their conversation. "Sorry, I can't today, my schedule's packed. Unless you're willing to just get coffee? I have a tiny break between classes at six."

Shouyou hummed to himself. He was planning to work at home on his next article, but he could just as well work at a cafe. And Tetsurou's voice, despite being raspy from sleep, sounded a little hopeful which made Shouyou smile. He couldn't say no to that, now could he?

"Sure, why not," he replied. "The same cafe we first met at?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." Shouyou could hear the smile in Tetsurou's voice and his heart warmed up a bit, the grin on his face widening.

"Okay then, have fun in class," he teased and Tetsurou only groaned. Shouyou chuckled, looking at his watch. "I've got to go back to work, so till six?"

"Yeah," Tetsurou agreed. "Bye."

They ended the call, and with his heart lighter than before, Shouyou turned back to writing his article. The smile that curled at the corner of his lips didn't want to disappear for the rest of the afternoon.

 

* * *

 

Shouyou got to the cafe early, just like the first time, and he'd picked a table in a far away corner. It was still only ten past five, which left him enough time to fine-tune the article that was supposed to be on his editor's desk the next morning. He got himself a large coffee, sweet and creamy to keep his brain cells from dying on him, and he immersed himself in work.

He was so engrossed with the article that he didn't even notice how quickly the time passed or when, for that matter, Tetsurou had entered the cafe. He almost jumped out of his skin when his date slipped into the seat opposite of his, setting his drink next to Shouyou's already empty cup.

"Did I startle you?" Tetsurou grinned and Shouyou sent him a tiny scowl.

"Hush, you," he huffed, almost sticking out his tongue at Tetsurou before he remembered that he was thirty-five not twelve. "Let me finish up and I'm all yours," he said instead.

"Sure," Tetsurou said, taking off the lid of his to-go cup and putting in some sugar.

About three minutes passed in silence and Shouyou could feel the other's eyes roaming over his face, but he decided to ignore it in order to finish up the article. He typed in the last dot, saved the file, and sat back with a sigh.

"Okay, I'm done," he said, closing the laptop. "I'll get a refill, be right back."

Tetsurou sent him off with a hum, a small smile firmly on his face. When Shouyou got back, Tetsurou was drinking his coffee slowly, elbows on the table. He had shrugged off his jacket and was now wearing only a plain white t-shirt, and _wow_ , Shouyou could clearly see the outline of his back muscles. His steps faltered a bit and he had to look away, his cheeks stinging as the blood rushed to his face. Shouyou fanned his face with his hand briefly, willing it back to normal before he took his place at the table again.

"So..." Tetsurou said while Shouyou took a sip of his fresh coffee, half-closing his eyes in bliss. "I didn't know you wear glasses."

Blinking up, suddenly Shouyou realized that indeed, he had the small frames on his nose. He smiled, a little bashful, and reached over to take them off.

"I only use them while working," he said, folding them and putting them on the table. "Old man's eyes, you know."

Tetsurou rolled his eyes, but there was a smirk on his lips. "You look hot in them, though."

Shouyou almost choked on his coffee. Blood rushed to his cheeks and he tried really, really hard to calm down his quickened heartbeat, but it thrummed sweetly in his chest to the sound of Tetsurou's laughter despite his best efforts. Seeing his flustered face, Tetsurou took mercy on him and with amusement still swirling in his golden eyes, he changed the subject to let Shouyou breathe.

"When are you leaving?" he asked, cocking his head to the side curiously.

"Tomorrow afternoon," Shouyou answered, pushing some papers around the table and putting his laptop to the side to make more space for his arms. "It was really last minute, because the guy that was supposed to do it got a sick kid and can't make it."

"That's so nice of you to help out a colleague like that," Tetsurou commented and Shouyou snorted.

"I'm not doing it for him." And when Tetsurou looked at him with his eyebrows raised, Shouyou grinned. "My two favourite teams are playing."

They laughed together, the air light and bubbling with this strange feeling that Shouyou knew very well from his high school days – the feeling before the games, with its nervous excitement and joy, meshing and clashing together in an unparalleled burst of adrenaline in his veins.

It was strange, to be honest. They had known each other for only two weeks, but it didn't stop Shouyou from feeling drawn to Tetsurou. In huge part it was his looks, the kid was way too hot and Shouyou often times had found himself exploring his chiselled face and well-built body with his eyes. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through Tetsurou's messy hair, to slide their lips together, to be held in the embrace of his strong arms...

Treacherous thoughts like these didn't last long most of the time. It just wasn't right, he told himself, and yet still, his mind kept turning to them as soon as his eye caught the sight of springy muscles or beautifully tanned skin, making Shouyou's head spin and mouth go a little too dry.

But Tetsurou's looks weren't the only thing that made Shouyou so interested in him: there was also his personality. He was fun to be around, always joking and teasing, bright and optimistic, which Shouyou greatly appreciated and which was a pleasant change from the monotony of his life until now. Shouyou remembered the time when he was just the same, so full of energy and life, happiness bubbling infectiously out of every pore of his being, and he knew what it brought in toe – secrets and insecurities, darkness that they all tried to hide in the shadows of their own light.

Sometimes Shouyou wondered what Tetsurou wanted to cover up, but then he reminded himself that it was really none of his business. They were strangers... well, not really, but they weren't close enough for that kind of intimacy. Not yet, at least. Maybe one day, hopefully before the damage becomes irreparable, Shouyou will be able to gain Tetsurou's trust and help. Like he wished someone had helped him. But until that day, he could only watch and be there if, _when_ , something happens.

His own feelings were slightly confusing to him. Slightly, meaning _a whole lot_. On one hand he wanted Tetsurou sexually, he was fighting against his own desire, knowing full well that it was a losing battle. But on the other hand, Shouyou wanted to protect him. It was probably the fact that he was older, and by so much, that he thought of Tetsurou as a baby adult – someone who didn't know yet how cruel life can be. And he wanted to spare him that knowledge, if he could.

Shouyou snapped out of his thoughts when Tetsurou called his name. He was staring at the other's face the whole time without even realizing, and now flushed a little at the amused quirk on Tetsurou's lips.

"Sorry," he smiled sheepishly. "Got a little distracted there."

"Don't we all," Tetsurou answered, smirking knowingly. "I was asking you to text me while you're gone. It gets really boring in lectures."

Shouyou snorted. "Don't you have friends for that? What could I text you that would be more amusing?"

"Pictures!" came the immediate, excited reply and Shouyou didn't fight a grin from showing on his face as he looked into Tetsurou's shining eyes. "Take some when you're at the game!"

"How old are you?" Shouyou asked, amused.

"Twelve," Tetsurou replied proudly and this time, Shouyou laughed openly. "Speaking of pictures, don't think I forgot." At Shouyou's confused look, he added: "You owe me baby photos."

Shouyou put his chin on his hands. "I don't remember agreeing to that."

"Come on, you have to." Tetsurou poked his wrist and Shouyou sighed. Somehow he had trouble saying no to him, and it was only a matter of time before Tetsurou figured it out... unless he already had.

"Fine, fine," he said, groaning. "After I get back."

"It's a promise then," Tetsurou grinned at him and Shouyou couldn't help but answer with a smile.

They talked a bit more, mostly about Shouyou's work and how he was really expecting great things from his favourite teams, and both of their faces were bright with smiles, eyes lit with excitement over their shared hobby. Their time quickly got to an end, and with disappointment Shouyou noticed how half an hour was really nothing at all when in good company. He almost forgot how it felt like to be around people who made him forget about the passage of time...

"I should be heading back," Tetsurou said with a slightly apologetic curl of lips, and Shouyou nodded.

"We can have dinner when I come back," he said. "Maybe something fancy for a change."

"Oh?" Tetsurou's eyes lit up and Shouyou couldn't suppress a chuckle. College students were so easy to please when it came to stuff like this. "I'll be looking forward to it."

He got up and before Shouyou could react, Tetsurou was leaning over, one hand supporting him on the table. Frozen in surprise, Shouyou watched the golden eyes shine as Tetsurou dipped his head and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His lips were warm from the coffee they had just drank and slightly chapped, but to Shouyou they felt like satin. He could feel the blood rush to his cheeks and his ears stung as they reddened, the back of his neck and even the skin of his throat flushing pink. His breath was stuck in his throat, the sound of his heartbeat muffling anything with its warm buzzing.

Tetsurou moved a little closer as if it wasn't enough, and lowering his voice, whispered right into Shouyou's ear:

"You're really cute when you blush."

And Shouyou lost it. A strangled noise left his mouth, making Tetsurou chuckle smoothly for which Shouyou wanted to strangle _him_. All he did though, was sit back with slightly glazed eyes and the blush still colouring his face. He couldn't meet Tetsurou's eyes, too flustered for the moment. Without a word he reached for his wallet and passed him a five thousand yen banknote, which Tetsurou took and unceremoniously put in his pocket.

"Hey," Tetsurou called, and reluctantly, Shouyou lifted his eyes to meet the bright gold. "Remember me when you're gone."

Tetsurou winked at him with a grin, took his jacket and with a wave of a hand he was gone. Shouyou's cheeks still burned after the door to the cafe closed after him and oh, he was sure there was no way in hell he could forget Tetsurou. Not now, not ever. The kid made sure of that.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou was restless. His pen tapped against the blank page in his notebook as he tried to focus on the assigned reading he was wading through, but the white noise of it made him even more twitchy. Finally, after a whole five minutes of starting the same paragraph over and over again and getting though five or six words only to find his mind wandering, Tetsurou gave up and threw the pen on his desk as if it offended him. It did, in a sense, and he scowled.

His face lit up though when his phone chimed with an incoming message.

"Oh, thank god," he mumbled to himself, grabbing the device as fast as if it could literally save his life.

What waited for him was not exactly what he expected. It was from Shouyou, like he hoped, and Tetsurou's heart did an overenthusiastic barrel roll, but then it stopped once he opened the message. Inside was a picture of Shouyou and another man, standing arm to arm, closer than strangers, closer than friends. The grin on Shouyou's face was bright and infectious and Tetsurou smiled to himself, warmth filling his chest and unfreezing his heart.

He looked at the other man in the picture after a long while (and no, it was not because he missed Shouyou and had to greedily trace every detail of his face, not at all). It took him all of five seconds to recognize the stranger and then Tetsurou's mouth just dropped.

Because Shouyou was standing next to Ushijima Wakatoshi, the ace of Japan, the best player in their country. They had the casual air around them, as if they had known each other for a long time and Tetsurou just gaped. Before he knew it, he was already typing a reply.

" _YOU KNOW USHIWAKA???_ "

A minute of anxious awaiting later, he received a " _Maybe_ " and Tetsurou felt like rolling around his bed like a little child and squealing. He never knew that Shouyou had such connections. Kenma never mentioned anything and he'd surely know, right? He was Shouyou's cousin, after all.

Another text pulled him out of his shock.

" _Are you free now?_ "

Tetsurou smiled, not a glance spared towards his homework, and replied with a single " _yes_ ". A few seconds later his phone rang, Shouyou's name flashing across the screen. Tetsurou fumbled a little and pressed the accept call button.

"Hi," he greeted with a slightly breathless grin, receiving a chuckle in return.

"Hi," Shouyou said back. "How's it going?"

"You just saved me from gauging my eyes out over this reading assignment I've got, so pretty well, I guess," Tetsurou chirped, but before Shouyou could get anything out, he continued: "So what's the deal with Ushiwaka?"

Shouyou snickered, and Tetsurou closed his eyes, imagining the way Shouyou's eyes always crinkled when he laughed. It was cute, and often times Tetsurou found himself wanting to touch the tiny crow's feet that formed in the corners of Shouyou's eyes.

"We're friends? More like acquaintances, really," Shouyou answered, his tone of voice a little questioning as if he wasn't sure himself. "We played against each other in high school."

"Wow, that's so cool." Tetsurou said, impressed. "Do you have more of those acquaintances?"

He could clearly hear the smirk when Shouyou replied: "Maybe."

"You're not gonna tell me, are you?" he asked with a small pout, making Shouyou laugh again and wow, was his laughter always this nice? It vibrated in Tetsurou's chest, tightening around his heart in a sudden bout of nostalgia.

"Maybe I'll send you some more pictures in the future," Shouyou joked.

"I'll be looking forward to it," Tetsurou answered, noticing that it was really true. He couldn't wait to learn more about Shouyou and get closer to him. "So how's work coming along? How was the match?"

They slipped into casual conversation about the match, Shouyou gushing over the amazing spikes on both sides and the incredible saves from the two liberos. Tetsurou couldn't stop smiling. He always knew Shouyou loved volleyball, but only now was he realizing that it was more than that: Shouyou _lived_ volleyball. And the noises he made when he explained how fast the ball zoomed through the air, or how quick the defence picked it up, or how strong the opposing team's block was; it made him so much more endearing. Tetsurou's heart swell in his chest with soft affection and he couldn't help it when his thoughts slipped off his tongue.

"You're adorable, Shouyou-san," he said, remembering the blush that covered Shouyou's face back in the coffee shop. It was surprising to find that when flustered, Shouyou's whole face and neck turned bright red, and Tetsurou wondered if the colour rushed down the man's chest as well.

A noise of protest on the other end brought him back from the thoughts of Shouyou's chest.

"I am not," Shouyou huffed, a pout clear in his voice, making Tetsurou grin. _Yes, he was._

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Tetsurou teased. He would have said something more, probably made some innuendo, but suddenly he remembered something. "Oh, I promised to send you the full list with prices, didn't I?" At Shouyou's noncommittal hum, Tetsurou straightened up. "Wait a second, I'll text it to you."

It took him a while to find the right file on his phone and when he did, he copied the contents into a text and pressed send.

"Did you get it?" he asked, putting the phone back to his ear.

There was a crack on the line, a few seconds of silence and then Shouyou replied, "Yeah, I got it. It's much more... complex than I thought."

"Complex?" Tetsurou asked, not exactly sure what the other meant, but he didn't like the hesitant tone of voice Shouyou used.

"I mean, there's a lot of sex here," Shouyou lowered his voice. "You're studying law, right? Are you sure you're okay with this?" He paused for a second. "If anyone finds out, you could be in trouble for it."

Tetsurou shrugged carelessly before he remembered that Shouyou couldn't really see him.

"I don't care," he said. "Law is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, so if they catch me, they'd actually be doing me a favour," he snorted humourlessly.

"Why are you studying it then?" Shouyou asked, confused, and Tetsurou smiled a little. He sounded so cute...

"My dad has a law office and he wants me to take over one day," he explained, looking at the ceiling with a sigh. "It doesn't matter what I want."

"Maybe he just wants to make sure you'll have a good job? Lawyers earn a pretty penny," Shouyou said, a little lilt to his voice, which made Tetsurou's lip curl against himself. "But if not law, then what do you want to do?"

Tetsurou wasn't expecting that question. No adult had ever cared before. Everyone told him to do as his father said, that he wanted the best for him, that he shouldn't be picky or that he should use his smarts the best way possible – that this was _for his own good_. Never, not even once, did anyone ask what Shouyou had just done so easily.

"I–" Tetsurou faltered a little, surprised and off-guard. "I like psychology a lot so I thought, you know, maybe I could study on my own?" He swallowed, waiting for laughter or harsh words telling him how stupid his choice was, but neither came. "It's kind of hard to do it though, with my law classes and a job on the side."

"You've got a job?" Shouyou asked and Tetsurou wanted to scream _that's what you're surprised about?,_ but he held back. "Why are you doing this then?"

He needn't specify, because Tetsurou knew exactly what he meant. He smiled, a little crooked and a little bitter.

"Because apparently my dad has enough money to pay off his son's law tuition, but when it comes to his 'frivolous activities and spending money on useless shit'," he quoted his father sourly, "which include housing and food money, he suddenly doesn't give a damn. I need all the cash I can get."

"What the–" Shouyou broke off, his voice a harsh gruff on the line. "That's so fucked up."

Tetsurou snorted. "Tell me about it."

"I'm sorry," Shouyou said, tone a little softer, making Tetsurou frown a bit.

"Don't be," he said, voice hard. He didn't need Shouyou's pity. "I can deal."

"I wish you didn't have to," Shouyou's voice was still soft and despite himself, Tetsurou relaxed his tense muscles as if the words were magic.

"Thanks," he replied, just as soft.

There was a beat of silence between them when neither knew what to say and when it stretched a little too long, Tetsurou broke it. He cleared his throat to gather some courage.

"So when are you coming back?" he asked as if he didn't know the date by heart.

"In two days," Shouyou replied. "I have something for you, by the way."

"A souvenir?" Tetsurou asked, grinning, the earlier heavy topic forgotten by them both. "What did you get me?"

Shouyou chuckled. "You'll see."

"You have too many secrets, Shouyou-san," Tetsurou complained, lips pursed in a small pout. "I'll figure them all out one day, just you wait."

"Good luck with that, kid," Shouyou laughed openly.

 _Just you watch_ , Tetsurou thought to himself, smirking a little. _I'll do it for sure_.

 

* * *

 

The fancy dinner Shouyou promised him didn't really happen when Shouyou came back. In truth, it was almost three days after Shouyou's return when Tetsurou heard from the man at all. Working as a journalist wasn't the best job, it seemed, and when Shouyou apologized, it was easy to just shrug it off and smile, even though disappointment churned in Tetsurou's stomach. He knew that he couldn't be picky, he had no right. That was the boyfriend's prerogative, and he wasn't that, never will be. So he grinned and joked and said it was "fine, you'll make it up to me some other time".

But despite that, Shouyou was a man of his word and he did indeed make up for it. Tetsurou was standing by the wall in the movie theatre they agreed to meet at, waiting for the other. With one eye he was watching the big screen TV that was playing trailers of the movies for the upcoming season. There were some he'd want to see, some he knew Kenma would enjoy, some that Bokuto would die to go to, and briefly Tetsurou wondered what kind of movies Shouyou liked.

Before he could come up with anything, a voice at his side made him spin.

"Please tell me you haven't seen Deadpool yet?"

Tetsurou looked down several inches to find Shouyou's amber eyes gazing up at him hopefully. He hadn't watched the movie, but it was on his list of stuff to see, so he grinned.

"No, I haven't," he replied. "Seems like the fates brought us together just for this."

Shouyou laughed, "Definitely. The fates, yeah."

They got the tickets and a huge box of popcorn to share ("Salted caramel, Tetsurou, I'm not budging on this one."), and finally settled in their seats as the theatre lights dimmed out. They never sat this close except that one time they rode in Shouyou's car to the restaurant his friends owned and Tetsurou almost forgot how magnetizing Shouyou's presence was. Their arms brushed on the armrest, skin against skin, and Tetsurou could feel the needles of excitement rush up his arm and down his spine.

And as if that wasn't enough, Shouyou was warm. So warm that Tetsurou could feel the heat oozing from his body and creeping into his, caressing his cheeks and neck and making him wet his sweetened with caramel lips way too much. He tried to focus on the movie, and from time to time he managed, but whenever Shouyou laughed, Tetsurou's eyes drifted to him – watching, devouring, longing.

He was surprised with himself, just as he was a little over a week ago when he kissed Shouyou's cheek out of the blue. He remembered how flustered he was when he realized what he'd done just a few blocks from the cafe, but with a wildly beating heart he knew that he'd do it all over again. And just now, looking at Shouyou's laughing face as the sharp light from the big screen played with shadows across the man's cheeks, Tetsurou felt the urge again.

He was already reaching out a hand to pull Shouyou's chin closer, but the man picked that moment to turn around and Tetsurou chickened out.

"What's up?" Shouyou asked over the loud soundtrack.

Tetsurou was glad for the sudden darkness from the screen, because he was fairly sure his cheeks were aflame. He changed his strategy and reached for the popcorn box that sat in Shouyou's lap.

"Don't hog all the popcorn," he said, watching Shouyou mouth a quick 'sorry' – his lips were wet and glistening, and Tetsurou stared at them as they moved as if hypnotized. Shouyou quickly put the box between them, creating a barrier that Tetsurou both cursed and was glad for.

They finished watching the movie without any more incidents (their fingers brushed in the popcorn box a few times, but Tetsurou tried really hard to disregard the tingly feeling in his stomach and somehow he succeeded). The smile on Shouyou's face seemed permanent though, because even after they left the movies it was still blinding. They took a slow walk to the underground parking lot where Shouyou left his car.

"Oh, wait, I almost forgot!" Shouyou exclaimed. He reached into the backseat and pulled out a box before handing it to Tetsurou with a grin that made his already abused heart flutter. "Remember the souvenir I promised you? It's nothing much but–"

"Shhh," Tetsurou hushed him, already pulling the top open to reveal... "Candy?"

"Yeah," Shouyou smiled, a little embarrassed pink tint to his cheeks. "I figured you could just share it with others, if you didn't like it."

Tetsurou snorted. "No way, I'm not sharing. They're all mine."

"Possessive much?" Shouyou joked.

Tetsurou glanced up, eyes gleaming serious for a second. "Actually, yeah."

He would later pin it on his imagination, but in that moment he could have sworn that Shouyou's lips quirked in a tiny smirk. It was brief and so small that when he blinked there were no traces of it at all. Instead, Shouyou was looking at him in slight wonder.

"Thanks, for this," Tetsurou said, closing the box and holding it protectively. Then, he grinned. "Give me a ride home?"

Shouyou only grinned. "Hop in."

They talked about the movie during the ride, Tetsurou giving directions from time to time and watching how Shouyou's eyes shone brightly as he spoke. After a short goodbye, and pocketing the money he so dutifully earned by staring at Shouyou the whole afternoon like a love-struck puppy, he slipped out of the car and watched it drive away until it was gone. Looking down at the box of candy he was holding in his hands, Tetsurou realized something. Something he didn't want to even think about before. Something that could potentially ruin his chances at getting any money from Shouyou at all.

Because having a crush on your sugar daddy really wasn't the smartest idea. Apparently though, Tetsurou was as dumb as they come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> treasure the cutes while they last~  
> and yes they went to see deadpool bc I was writing this chapter in march so what, it's a great couples movie ;3c


	4. How much for your heart

Tetsurou popped yet another candy into his mouth with a small hum. The wrapper he was scrunching up in his hand landed carelessly on the floor when he threw it over the edge of the bed. His carpet was lined with empty shells that used to contain the same candy he was now sucking on in thought. He may or may not have been halfway through the box he got from Shouyou just two days ago, but he really didn't care about cavities at the moment. The slightly bitter taste on his tongue gave way to sweetness and he closed his eyes in delight.

He was never a fan of bitter things, though he liked to enjoy an occasional sting. Rolling the candy from one side of his mouth to the other, he couldn't help but think of Shouyou. Did he like bitter things? Probably not, he usually got the sweetest coffee on the menu when they saw each other. As if he needed the sugar in his bloodstream to be so cute, Tetsurou snickered to himself. And then he sighed. This was getting out of control.

Him having a crush on Shouyou was the worst thing that could have happened. Tetsurou rolled to the side, one of his hands finding its way to his hair and tugging on it in slight irritation. If they didn't arrange the money exchange, if they weren't a sugar daddy and a sugar baby, Tetsurou was pretty sure he'd be willing to give this relationship a try. But as of right now... Shouyou probably just wanted someone to hang out with, not a boyfriend, someone who didn't demand he frees his time for them. With the man's packed up schedule, there was hardly any space for a romantic relationship, Tetsurou could see that. And well, he wasn't pining for one either.

But his feelings were undeniable, and that was a problem. For now it was just a crush, but the strength of it after only a few meetings suggested that it could evolve into something more complex, more problematic. From experience Tetsurou knew that feelings like that in a money arrangement like theirs were never a good thing. He had two options, break it off or ignore the skips of his heart when Shouyou smiled. Choosing between the two was frustrating and aggravating and Tetsurou bit down on the candy, wincing a little when the hard shell gritted on his teeth. Why did he always have to get the short end of the stick...

His phone chimed and with a sigh he pulled himself up to grab it from his desk. Flipping on his back, he swiped it open and read the text from the object of his dilemma.

" _Do you ever want to drown your friends in a pool of piranhas?_ "

Tetsurou snickered to himself. Every day of his life.

" _what did they do?_ " he wrote back. The reply came faster than expected, before the screen of the phone could even flash out.

" _Besides being assholes and prying into my life when no one's asked for it?_ "

" _isn't that the definition of friendship tho,_ " Tetsurou typed and a second later added another text, " _u do that to them too, let's be real here_ "

This time it took a bit longer for Shouyou to reply, but when he did it was first the squinty emoticon that made Tetsurou grin.

" _Okay, you lawyered out of it, prosecution rests its case._ "

Tetsurou imagined the small huff Shouyou would make, the tiny pout in the corner of his mouth, and his heart skipped a beat. Just as he was about to text back, another message chimed in.

" _If I get arrested for murder tonight, make sure you bail me out._ "

" _sorry, can't do, working the night shift today_ ," he wrote, smiling from ear to ear. " _wait with murder till tomorrow?_ "

It was strange how easily their conversations went, but Tetsurou had to admit it was nice to be able to talk to his patron like this. Without having to age himself up in order to seem smarter, more respect-worthy in their eyes. It was a huge upgrade from what he was used to.

" _I don't know, the urge is pretty strong..._ " Shouyou's text said and Tetsurou snickered. He already suspected that it was probably about that chef friend of Shouyou's, but he couldn't be sure.

" _write a mental list of their offences through the night and I'll help you bury the body tomorrow, deal?"_ he proposed with a grin.

" _I guess I need to buy a shovel then, huh?_ " came Shouyou's reply and this time Tetsurou snorted out loud.

That was before he caught a glimpse of the time and cursed heavily. He was going to be late for work. Typing a quick goodbye, he jumped off the bed, slipping on the candy wrappers. He danced around, arms flying wildly to regain the balance. With a sigh of relief at staying on his feet, he snatched his bag and headed for the door. Only after he closed it behind himself did he realize he was still grinning like an idiot. His smile faltered, but before it could disappear, another text from Shouyou made it permanent.

" _Stay safe,_ " it said, and Tetsurou's heart clenched in his chest.

 

* * *

 

It was a slow evening, only a few customers here and there since it was the middle of the week. After ten the crowd thickened a bit, but it was still fairly easy to deal with the orders. Tetsurou was one of the two waiters working the night shift at the bar slash restaurant, the only other staff around were Makki, the other waiter; Mattsun, the bartender and Makki's soon-to-be boyfriend (and Tetsurou was not rolling his eyes at their shameless flirting all night, he just got a tick alright); the cook out in the back that Tetsurou didn't know the full name of, but everyone called him Noya and so did he; and the security guy, Tanaka, who was more concerned with his phone than his job (but since one glare from him usually calmed down any disputes and rowdy customers no one dared to complain).

It would've been a pretty boring night, if at quarter past ten a group of four didn't make it through the door. Tetsurou probably wouldn't bat an eye at them because they chose to sit in Makki's half of the room, but just as his fellow waiter was grabbing the menus, Tetsurou caught the sight of a familiar mop of bright orange hair.

Before he knew what he was doing, he already pulled the menus from Makki's hands.

"I'm taking this one," he said, already slinking off to the table the new customers sat at. Makki only raised his eyebrows at him and Tetsurou gave him a small smirk, shooing him back to his flirting.

With his heart beating a little harder than normally Tetsurou stopped before the four men, smiling delightfully at the shocked look on Shouyou's face. He recognized the brunet that served him and Shouyou at that restaurant they've been to once and he nodded his head in greeting, while placing the menus on the table.

"Hi," he said, winking at Shouyou. "You could have told me you were coming, I would have put on some nicer clothes," he joked, patting the pant leg of his uniform. Shouyou's lips twitched in a smile.

"I had no idea you work here," he admitted. "What a coincidence."

"I told you, it's fate," Tetsurou grinned and Shouyou snorted.

They were getting curious looks from the other two men at the table, which Shouyou seemed not to notice as he stared at Tetsurou like he still couldn't believe he was real and standing there, waiting for them to order. Finally, the blond guy on Shouyou's right had enough of their staring contest.

"So, who's this?" he asked, his tone clearly stating that he wasn't curious but rather bored and unamused. His eyes gleamed behind his glasses though, and Tetsurou immediately knew that he was the jackass friend chef. The suspicion was confirmed when the brunet replied to him instead.

"He's Hinata's cousin's friend," the guy said. "They came to our place that one time..."

"Oh," the blond's lips quirked in a smirk, and he raked his eyes over Tetsurou as if he was critically judging a piece of art. He turned to Shouyou then, and Tetsurou could clearly see the scowl that immediately darkened Shouyou's face. "Not bad, for you."

"Oi," Shouyou grit out, which made the blond only smirk mockingly before he turned back to the menu. Shouyou scowled some more and then smiled at Tetsurou, pointing with his thumb at the blond. "He's the one we're gonna bury tomorrow."

Tetsurou snickered at the same time as the blond hummed, "You can try."

"No, you can't," the brunet cut in. "I'm not paying the mortgage by myself."

Shouyou grinned. "See, Tsukishima, even your husband thinks I'd succeed."

"In your dreams, shorty," the blond, Tsukishima, snorted, flipping through the pages of the menu. "I'll have gin and tonic."

Tetsurou whipped out his notepad and wrote it down. The rest slowly decided on their drinks, and Tetsurou couldn't help a small smile when Shouyou picked one of the sweetest ones. He went off to give the order to Mattsun, leaving Shouyou and Tsukishima still bickering. It was nice to see Shouyou around his friends, usually people showed their true selves around the people they were comfortable with. With some deep satisfaction, Tetsurou noticed that Shouyou didn't change much from how he was with him and it made something warm burn in his chest.

He brought them their drinks, catching a wisp of Shouyou whining "Tsukishima, why are you such a jerk..." and a snarky answer of "You're just too easy to rile up". Tetsurou would be perfectly happy with staying nearby to listen in, but he had other tables to wait. Slightly disappointed, he went on with his job, from time to time bringing new drinks to Shouyou's table.

They spent two hours there, just drinking and talking, and Tetsurou's eyes more often than not wandered to the mop of orange hair. One time he caught Shouyou laughing so hard that his whole face reddened and tears were streaming down his cheeks, and wow, if Tetsurou ever had any doubts he was gay, he wouldn't have them now.

Shouyou's laughing face wasn't the only thing he noticed, though. The black haired man that was sitting to Shouyou's left (Tetsurou felt like he had seen him somewhere, but he wasn't entirely sure) was more often than not leaning in close into Shouyou's personal space. Sometimes it was to whisper in his ear, sometimes to jostle him with an elbow to the side, sometimes to grab Shouyou's head in his hand, other times to snatch Shouyou's drink away... Despite himself, Tetsurou wondered what kind of relationship they had, because it was more than friendship – that much he could tell.

He couldn't spend time on figuring it out himself, being busy with waiting his part of the tables. At some point, he lost the sight of Shouyou's bright hair, but it wasn't long before he found him again – at the bar, right where Tetsurou was headed with a tray of empty glasses.

"Having a good time?" Tetsurou asked, smiling down at Shouyou, whose cheeks were a bit darkened with a pink flush. He put the tray on the bar counter for Mattsun to take care of.

"They're all pickin' on me," Shouyou whined, his words a little slurred. "'pparently datin' a guy 'our age's good teasin' material... jerks."

_Dating?_

Tetsurou's heart hammered in his chest, his smile wavering. He was suddenly hot in the stuffy bar, but Shouyou's gleaming amber eyes kept him frozen in his spot, time and space. It was true that what they were doing could be called dating, but the way Shouyou had said it... A shiver ran down Tetsurou's back because Shouyou's eyes were still trained on him with more focus than he would have thought possible from a person who had downed six drinks already. In the dim bar lights, Shouyou's face looked different than what Tetsurou had seen before: more serious, more hardened, more... adult.

Before he could collect his wits, Shouyou was speaking again.

"S'rry 'bout Tsukishima," he was saying with an apologetic smile. "He's a jerk, but he's a good jerk, ya 'now?" The words barely left Shouyou's mouth when he frowned, wrinkles of confusion showing on his forehead. "This doesn' make sense..." he mumbled to himself and Tetsurou couldn't help but laugh.

"Actually it does," he said, watching how Shouyou's face immediately morphed into a smile. It seemed like he was cute when he was drunk, too. Tetsurou was fucked. "And don't worry about your friend. It's fun to see you two bicker."

He snickered when Shouyou scrunched up his nose as if he smelled something disgusting. Shouyou's mood shifted only a second later, almost giving Tetsurou a whiplash when his mouth formed a small 'o'. He looked up at Tetsurou as if a sudden idea hit him square in the face.

"Tetsu–" Shouyou hiccupped, covering his mouth with a hand briefly, and it took all of Tetsurou's self-control to hold back the laughter that wanted to burst out of his chest.

Undeterred, Shouyou stepped closer, holding onto Tetsurou's arm to keep balance. His hand was warm, so warm that it was almost burning, but Tetsurou didn't want to shrug it off.

"Dinner. Nex' week," Shouyou said.

Tetsurou didn't know if he should treat such an invitation seriously, but he smiled nonetheless. "Sure. If you remember it tomorrow, you've got yourself a date."

The smile that Shouyou sent him was the brightest he had seen yet and Tetsurou's breath was knocked out of his lungs. Shouyou's eyes shone, his cheeks flushed pink and his lips stretched wide over pearl white teeth and _god_ , Tetsurou thought, _there's no way I can break this off_.

 

* * *

 

Surprisingly, Shouyou woke up without a headache the next day. It was a miracle, really, but the taste of his mouth immediately made him gag. He couldn't make it to the bathroom on time so he leaned over the edge of his bed and dry heaved there. His skin coated in a sheen of sweat and disgusting shivers rolled down his back as he gasped for breath. There was nothing in his stomach that desperately wanted out and after a while the gag reflex eased. Grimacing, Shouyou stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom.

Brushing his teeth while stripping was a challenge even without the remnants of alcohol coursing through his body, but somehow he succeeded. With his mouth tasting a bit better (spearmint wasn't doing much to help his unsettled stomach, to be perfectly honest) he slipped under the shower. The warm water had a pleasant soothing effect on his body and by the time he left the bathroom, he felt reborn.

Munching on a light breakfast, he mulled over what happened yesterday. He might have not been very hangover, but it didn't change the fact that he drank a lot and his memories were kind of blurry. Shouyou remembered meeting up with Kageyama, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. He remembered going to a bar close to Kageyama's place. And then he remembered Tetsurou.

It was a surprise seeing his... sugar baby (Shouyou cringed, still unused to the word) working there, but his surprise was quickly replaced by something else. Because Tetsurou looked really nice in his uniform – the black pants hugging his thighs, ass and hips in all the right places; the white button-up shirt which was neatly tucked in his pants, the collar slightly open and sleeves rolled up to the elbows, letting Shouyou see Tetsurou's perfect forearms...

Shouyou swallowed around his egg and toast. But that, _that_ , wasn't even the worst of it. The worst was that his friends, those assholes, they knew him too well. So when Shouyou tried to hide his obvious attraction to their more than ten years younger waiter, they called bullshit. Sometimes it was a blessing when people knew you inside out, but at times like this Shouyou cursed their years long friendship.

They teased him and joked, all in good nature, but Shouyou himself wasn't exactly sure what to do or not do about Tetsurou, so having them all trample on his insecurities wasn't helping much. He remembered apologizing to Tetsurou for Tsukishima's snarky comments (which he really hoped Tetsurou didn't hear the half of), and he remembered Tetsurou's easy smile. It seemed like it didn't bother him at all, in fact as if it amused him, and Shouyou wondered what exactly was going through the guy's head.

Was he always like this? Easy-going and carefree? Did he not care about what other people thought about him? Or maybe he was just pretending? Maybe he only said all those things because it was expected of him? Because he wanted to keep their relationship going? For the money?

Shouyou's head spun with questions he didn't have the answers to. He expected this whole sugar daddy thing to be a 'no strings attached' deal where he could just come and go without having to think much about it. But instead, he got something more serious, something that was even more complicated than a normal relationship. Was this how every sugar daddy felt? Or was he just _special_ that way? It really wouldn't surprise him if that was the case...

With his thoughts still circling around Tetsurou, Shouyou was reminded of his terrible attempts at asking him out and he cringed. He left the dirty dishes in the sink and went off to find his phone. After a second of looking through the pockets of his jeans, he pulled out the device and holding it in his hands he opened Tetsurou's text window. His fingers hovered over the screen though, as he tried to decide what to write.

Finally, with a resigned sigh, he typed in " _Sorry about yesterday. I usually don't drink that much._ " and clicked send. It was around eleven in the morning, so he supposed Tetsurou was still sleeping off his night shift. When his phone vibrated in his hand, Shouyou almost jumped in surprise.

" _hey, I don't judge,_ " Tetsurou's text said and then, " _you're cute when you're drunk though_ "

It was just a text, but the tips of Shouyou's ears stung as his face heated up with a blush. He groaned to himself.

" _I didn't do anything too embarrassing, right?_ " he asked, hoping, _praying_ that was true.

" _nah, you're safe_ ," Tetsurou replied and Shouyou breathed a sigh of relief.

" _So when did you start working there? We usually come to that place for drinks and it's the first time I've seen you there._ "

It was true. Kageyama's apartment was only a few blocks away and they all just agreed to pick this bar for their monthly catching up over drinks. They'd done it since the bar opened, but Tetsurou's appearance was fairly new and surprising.

" _I got the job two months ago,_ " Tetsurou said, and then added: " _didn't know you guys were regulars there, I guess we'll see a lot of each other then_ ". The end of his text was highlighted with a winking cat emoticon and Shouyou couldn't help but smile at it.

" _Isn't it hard, though?_ " Shouyou asked. " _Balancing school and work?_ " _And me_ , he was tempted to add, but held back.

" _yeah, a bit. but I need the money, I told you why,_ " Tetsurou's text reminded Shouyou of their conversation about Tetsurou's father and Shouyou frowned a little. A moment later, his face brightened up as an idea crossed his mind.

" _Hey, are you free today?_ " he changed the subject. " _I want to take you somewhere._ "

" _oh? a date? I'm free after four_ " Tetsurou's text came faster this time as if he couldn't hold back his excitement. Shouyou's heart gave a sudden beat out of rhythm.

" _I'll pick you up at half past from your place, then?_ " Shouyou quickly typed in, holding his breath and waiting for the answer with his heartbeat ringing in his ears. When it came, it did nothing to help the hammering inside his chest.

" _already counting minutes to it_ "

And so was Shouyou.

 

* * *

 

He was at Tetsurou's place early. There was still ten minutes till half past four, but Shouyou couldn't sit at home any longer. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, sitting in his car and nervously checking the clock every few seconds as if the time could magically speed up between his glances. He almost jumped when two minutes after he parked before Tetsurou's apartment building the passenger door of his car swung open and Tetsurou slid into the seat next to him.

"You're early," he said with a grin, and Shouyou couldn't help but return it.

"So are you," he replied, starting up the engine.

"Well, what can I say?" Tetsurou's grin was even wider and Shouyou tried his best to not get distracted by it, but his heart was already speeding up just from catching a glimpse of it. "I'm excited for what you've planned for us today."

Shouyou chuckled, tilting his head to glance at Tetsurou. "Oh, you're gonna love it."

"Really?" Golden eyes gleamed with inner light, thrilled, eager and delightfully animated. "Okay, what's the catch?"

This only made Shouyou laugh louder.

"There's no catch," he replied, changing the line and stopping on the lights. "I want to do this, so you have no say in it, sorry."

Tetsurou's mouth opened and then closed as if he was holding back from saying something. Shouyou didn't press him. If he wanted to say it, he would have. They hadn't known each other for long, but Shouyou at least knew that. Or he hoped it was true.

A few minutes of driving later he turned into the underground parking lot of a mall. Tetsurou gave him a curious look and Shouyou only smirked at him like _you'll see_. He lead him into the mall, up the stairs, and then into the bookstore that was probably the biggest Shouyou had ever seen. Tetsurou followed him with a slightly confused expression on his face (which made him irresistibly cute and Shouyou had to look in front in order to stop thinking about kissing the bottom lip Tetsurou worried between his teeth).

They made it to the section of the store under the huge letter 'P' and there, Shouyou stopped. He turned to Tetsurou, smiling.

"So we're here," he announced.

"A bookstore?" Tetsurou asked, still confused.

Shouyou hummed, turning to one of the shelves and looking through the titles.

"Remember what you told me about your dad?" he asked, fingers trailing the spines of the books before him. "And about your law career?" He plucked one title from the shelf, turning back to Tetsurou with a somewhat sheepish smile. "I thought... I mean, of course if you want to," He took a breath to stop the rambling and say what he actually wanted to say. "If you're really serious about this, I can help out."

He tapped his pointing finger on the cover of the book he was holding up. The words "An Introduction to Psychology" were bolded and staring them right in the eye. Shouyou watched for a reaction, any reaction to be honest, but Tetsurou seemed to be frozen.

Suddenly nervous the more the seconds ticked by, Shouyou felt the fear creep up his neck. Did he fuck up? Did he overstepped? Maybe he should have just left it alone. It wasn't a good idea to mess with something that could alter Tetsurou's whole future, and most definitely his relationship with his father, but... Shouyou knew what it felt like when you couldn't do what you wanted most and he... he just wanted to help.

He was already opening his mouth to apologize for butting into things he shouldn't, but Tetsurou chose that moment to unfreeze. He stepped closer to Shouyou, delicately prying the book from his hands. He still didn't look Shouyou in the eyes, but Shouyou didn't mind – he noticed the slight tremble of Tetsurou's fingers and it was enough to show him how much emotional turmoil he had just caused. Slightly guilty, he swallowed.

"You don't have to go through with this," he said, watching the side of Tetsurou's face that wasn't covered with his hair. "It was just a selfish thing I wanted to do. If you don't feel like it, we can leave."

An incredulous snort left Tetsurou's lungs. "You're ridiculous."

Shouyou's heart panged a little, but he forced on a somehow contrite smile.

"Yeah, I know," he said, tone apologetic. "Sorry for dragging you here all of a sudden."

"No, not that," Tetsurou said, finally raising his head and looking Shouyou straight in the eyes. "Why are you doing this? We don't even know each other that well and yet you're..." At a loss of words, Tetsurou waved his hand towards the shelves.

There was a gleam of something in Tetsurou's golden eyes, but Shouyou couldn't name it. Despite that, he noticed how bright they were and how watery they seemed and his heart softened at the sheer vulnerability Tetsurou projected. Squishing the urge to hug him, Shouyou only smiled at him.

"I know what it's like to not be able to do what you want," he admitted. "And I don't want you to live with that regret like I do."

Tetsurou looked as if he wanted to ask about it, but Shouyou shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. His past volleyball career was still a somewhat sore subject and he didn't feel like getting drunk to drown the pain today.

He nodded towards the bookshelves.

"So what do you think?" Shouyou asked, looking at Tetsurou. "Want to try it?"

"Are you sure?" Tetsurou replied with a question of his own, his voice slightly breathless with all the emotions that must have been warring inside his head.

Before he could stop himself, Shouyou lifted his hand and brushed his thumb over Tetsurou's cheek. The soft gesture made his own heart ache for something he couldn't name. Golden eyes fogged, but Tetsurou didn't look away, didn't push him away. Shouyou smiled gently at him.

"I'm sure," Shouyou said, dropping his hand to his side. The feeling of Tetsurou's warm skin still tingled on his fingertips.

"Okay," Tetsurou nodded, his face still stuck in this bewildered sort of expression as if he couldn't believe this was all real. He looked at the shelves and shelves of books all around him and then he turned back to Shouyou, swallowing. "Help me?"

Shouyou only grinned at him, bumping their shoulders as he turned to the shelf behind his back. They fell into the piles of books, flipping through the titles and pages, trading opinions based on the cover reviews and fragments they read from inside the book. From time to time they stopped at a book, not really sure whether it was a good one, and at those times the other had to come and they decided together.

Secretly, Shouyou enjoyed Tetsurou's presence as he stood right behind him, reading over his shoulder. Shouyou could feel the warmth of his body and he knew that if he leaned just a little bit back he would have bumped into Tetsurou's chest. Sometimes Tetsurou reached out to turn a page and his arm would circle around Shouyou as if he was embracing him, and at those moments Shouyou's mind went down the gutter.

He wondered what it would be like to be held, hugged, tucked into Tetsurou's arms, and his ears flamed red. He just hoped that Tetsurou was too busy with the books to notice. If he wasn't, he never commented on it, and Shouyou breathed with a little more ease... until the next time it happened. And it happened a lot. (He might have helped it a little... just a little.)

After an hour of browsing Tetsurou was holding about five books, which ranged from the beginners' texts to the therapy guides. They were about to call it quits for the day when a small voice from behind their backs made them turn.

"Kuroo?" A girl probably Tetsurou's age stood there with a smile on her face. "Ah, I thought it was you! You just can't mistake your hair for anyone else."

"Ayane-chan," Tetsurou smiled back at her. "Nice to see you again."

Shouyou watched their exchange, the friendly smiles and words, and his stomach slightly churned without a good reason. The girls eyes turned to him and he forced on a smile as well.

"And who's this?" she asked.

"A friend," Tetsurou answered. Shouyou's heart tightened in his chest, but he couldn't say a word against it. No one sane would ever admit to the truth. "He's helping me pick some books."

"Oh, that's so nice of him!" she smiled at Shouyou, but didn't spare him more time, turning back to Tetsurou. The way she looked at him... Shouyou immediately knew what her goal was. And he really didn't want to stay to watch it.

"Give me the books," he said, taking them from Tetsurou's hands before the other could protest. "I'll take care of these while you two catch up."

Tetsurou looked a bit surprised, but he just smiled at Shouyou. "Okay then, I'll see you in a few minutes?"

"Yeah," Shouyou said, and then added, nodding at the girl: "Nice meeting you."

She didn't even reply. She was already stepping closer to Tetsurou, hogging his attention, and Shouyou felt a stab of something in his gut. It wasn't jealousy, not exactly. But it was heavy and painful, and Shouyou couldn't help but grimace as he made his way to the cash register.

Waiting for his turn in the small queue, he couldn't help but look back. The girl was holding onto Tetsurou's arm, smiling up at him flirtatiously, and Tetsurou was smiling back. He looked at ease, not troubled at all by the girl's proximity. But that wasn't what caught Shouyou's attention.

He moved up in the queue, putting the books on the counter and waiting for the clerk to ring them up. With practiced movements he swiped his card, a small bitter smile making it onto his face. His gut clenched painfully and deep in his silently bleeding heart Shouyou chided himself.

_Serves you right, idiot_ , he thought.

Because Tetsurou's smiles for Ayane were exact replicas of the smiles he used for Shouyou. And Shouyou was a fool, the most blind of them all, when he thought... hoped... that there was something more between them. That he was more than just an easy way to make money.

Shouyou grabbed the books neatly packed in a bag. Tetsurou was waiting for him at the exit, alone, and when Shouyou came close he smiled at him brightly. The bile rose up Shouyou's throat, but he swallowed it along with his hurt feelings, with his stupid hope, with his damned naiveté. And then he smiled back, forced and a little bitter, passing the bag into Tetsurou's hands.

Because that was his part of the deal, and when Tetsurou's hands brushed his as the bag changed owners, Shouyou felt the happiness he had trouble containing these past few weeks leak between his fingers. The only things left were bitterness, hurt and indifference.

And when Tetsurou asked if everything was okay on their way down to the parking lot, all Shouyou did was close his eyes in a smile to hide their dull shine behind his eyelids.

"I'm fine," he answered. "Just fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbqh I'm kinda disappointed at the reception this fic is getting... I don't want to whine or seem ungrateful to those of you who left kudos and keep reading it, but 60 kudos for all the hours I've spent on this thing really doesn't make me happy... especially when just some random smut has about 200 *sighs* I guess it just proves to me that I shouldn't write any more multichapter fics, the less I try the less disappointed I'll be...
> 
> but still, to those that continue reading this fic and enjoy it - thank you, it means a great deal to me *sends huggles to all of you*


	5. Payment

Shouyou's day was shit. Actually, his whole week was shit and it all started on Saturday when he got drunk, dragged on through Sunday when he got a harsh kick into his gut from reality, and then spiralled down through Monday and the rest of the week, pulling him down and under. His work usually wasn't taxing, but when his boss got picky about wording and appearances, Shouyou's joy quickly changed into frustration. And frustration into depression, and that in turn into general apathy.

But if work worries weren't enough, Shouyou couldn't really stop his mind from going back to Tetsurou. His heart always panged painfully in his chest and it was a little harder to breathe as he gazed unseeingly at his laptop's screen. A day after he realized that all he was ever going to be to Tetsurou was a sugar daddy and nothing more – he was surprised he even hoped for more, but now that he'd come face to face with reality it was easier to accept that, indeed, he wanted more – Shouyou wanted to break off their agreement. It was his first impulse, his initial reaction at getting hurt, and maybe he should have done it before he chickened out. Maybe it would be easier if they'd never met again.

He couldn't bring himself to do it, though. He was already holding his phone in hand, already typing the message... and yet when the final decision truly came, he clicked delete instead of send. It was true that he was just an easy way for Tetsurou to make money. But it was also true that Tetsurou was only an easy way to fill in the dullness of Shouyou's life. They weren't dating. They never will. It was all Shouyou's fault for projecting his feelings onto something that wasn't even there. This... _them_... It was just good business.

Yet even though he told himself that, it still hurt. That, however, he was used to. Just as he was used to pretending. So Shouyou picked up the mask he had discarded years ago and put it firmly on his face, playing up the part he was supposed to play. And he took Tetsurou for what he offered – company, comfort and maybe in the future, occasional sex. Locking and chaining his heart, he promised himself that would be all they'd ever be.

But lord only knew, he needed some of that comfort after a week from hell like this one he'd just been through.

He rang up Tetsurou before leaving work and asked him to come over after he was done with classes. By the time Tetsurou showed up on Shouyou's doorstep, Shouyou's head was splitting with a massive headache, his eyes were red and itchy from correcting the same article over and over again, and his general mood was set on 'please charge or wait for self-destruction'. He pulled himself up from the couch and opened the front door to see Tetsurou's smiling face.

Despite being locked up, his heart skipped a beat and Shouyou had to stomp it down. His eye twitched, but he tried to smile back. It wasn't Tetsurou's fault. None of it was. Shouyou couldn't, _wouldn't_ punish him for it.

"Come on in," he said, opening the door wider to let Tetsurou in.

Tetsurou passed him and toed off his shoes, looking around curiously as Shouyou closed the door behind him. Shrugging off his jacket, Tetsurou hung it on the small hanger in the hallway before he looked back at Shouyou.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a glimmer of concern in his eyes. "You look like shit. No offense."

Shouyou cracked a tired smile at him. "And I feel like shit, thanks."

"Maybe I should go then?" Tetsurou proposed. His face was soft and he looked like he really cared, which made Shouyou's heart strain against its bindings.

"I called you, remember?" Shouyou said, walking over to the living room without waiting for Tetsurou. "If I didn't want you here, I wouldn't have done that."

Tetsurou hummed, following him. "That's true, I guess."

He was still looking around curiously, but Shouyou wasn't in the mood to give him a tour right now. He needed something else, something he was paying for. Uneasiness settled in Shouyou's stomach making him a little sick as he sunk into the couch. Patting the spot next to him, he glanced up at Tetsurou.

"Come here," he said, lifting a hand invitingly.

Tetsurou didn't hesitate and took a seat, but that wasn't Shouyou's plan. He turned to the side and pushed Tetsurou's shoulders down until he was laying down. Golden eyes were widened and there was something swirling in their depths, something dark, something that should have stopped Shouyou, but his head hurt so much he couldn't be bothered with the complexity of Tetsurou's emotions. He was already leaning forward to lie on Tetsurou's chest when two slightly trembling hands locked around his biceps, holding him at arm's length.

"So," Tetsurou started, his voice sounding tight and controlled, even though he had a light smile on his face. "What are we doing?"

Shouyou rubbed his face with his hand. He was so tired, so done with everything... He just wanted to close his eyes and rest.

"Cuddling," he replied. "That's all I need you for today."

"Oh." The tension seemed to disappear from Tetsurou's body and the grip on Shouyou's arms lessened. "Okay then," Tetsurou smiled freely. "I make a great pillow, if you want to nap, too. Or so they say."

Shouyou mumbled something, not even sure what, before he let himself crumble into Tetsurou's chest. Tetsurou chuckled softly, the sound reverberating through his chest and humming in Shouyou's bones. Arms embraced him in the middle, holding him close and protecting him from falling off the couch. Their legs were tangled up and Shouyou could feel one of Tetsurou's hips poke him in the thigh, but he didn't have the strength to shift their positions. And when Tetsurou ran a warm palm down Shouyou's back, he knew that even if he had the strength, he wouldn't have moved anyway.

Nuzzling his cheek into the cotton of Tetsurou's shirt, Shouyou sighed. His ear was right above Tetsurou's heat, its slow beating like a lullaby pulling him deeper and deeper into the darkness. He didn't even know when he closed his eyes, but he felt the moment Tetsurou's fingers entangled themselves in his hair. The tender caresses registered somewhere in his brain without his knowledge and he smiled, a little wistfully, a little helplessly, a little happily.

A second later, he was fast asleep.

And in his dreams, he lived in a world where his heart wasn't chained and locked up, but free. A world where he got what he wanted.

 

* * *

 

Their relationship somehow survived the first crisis and the more time passed, the easier it was for Shouyou to behave like he used to. He smiled and joked and laughed, and it wasn't just pretending anymore. He enjoyed Tetsurou's presence and wits, so why should he deny himself the pleasure of his company? Why should he hold back when he could... not? He was old enough to know that good friendships lasted forever, whereas good relationships crumbled like houses of cards in the wind. And he'd definitely pick the former before the latter.

So that's how their lives went: hanging out, enjoying each other's company, and at the end of the day Shouyou paid up his due. And that was fine with him. Perfectly fine.

" _When are you free today?_ " he typed Tetsurou a text and put his phone on his knee to focus on the papers scattered all around his couch and coffee table while he worked.

He munched on the end of his pen, glasses low on his nose, while he tried to figure out how to put together the few still raw ideas he had for this next _big_ article. Hopefully, front page. Excitement churned in Shouyou's gut, but it died down as his ideas dispersed once again when the vibrations of his phone on his knee made him jump. Papers fell to the ground, the phone tumbled right after, hitting the floor with a crash.

Shouyou cursed heavily, picking it up. It wasn't damaged, thankfully. He let out a breath of relief and checked the message.

" _I have two free periods from 3pm,_ " the text read and after a glance at the clock, Shouyou decided it would be enough time for what he had planned.

" _I'll pick you up from university then,_ " he wrote back. A few seconds later he got a reply.

" _where are you taking me this time?_ "

Shouyou could almost see Tetsurou's curiously excited smile when he closed his eyes and he couldn't help smiling to himself.

" _You'll see,_ " he replied mysteriously, putting his phone away to focus on work.

An hour later he was driving through the university parking lot. As soon as he settled in one of the free spots, he noticed Tetsurou leaving through the main doors and honked to get his attention. The smile that appeared on Tetsurou's face would've made Shouyou's heartbeat quicken, but he didn't let it happen. Not anymore.

He waited until Tetsurou was strapped in next to him before he put the car in motion again. Tetsurou was looking straight at him, still grinning. He did it for as long as it took Shouyou to snort.

"Okay, what is it?" Shouyou asked, sparing him a glance as he drove.

"I don't know," Tetsurou replied, his grin even wider. "You tell me. Where are we going?"

Shouyou hummed, but he was smiling now, too. "The mall."

"More books?" Tetsurou guessed. "Because I haven't gotten through the last batch yet, just so you know."

"No, we're not going book shopping," Shouyou said. He turned the blinker on and took a right turn.

"What are we doing then?" Tetsurou pressed, and Shouyou snickered. "Oh, come on! Tell me."

He was like a kid and Shouyou shouldn't have been enjoying it as much as he was. He only sent Tetsurou a smirk and drove the rest of the way to the mall without saying a word, even though Tetsurou was trying his best to guess what they would be doing and failing on all attempts.

Ten minutes later they stood in front of a big display window with all types of suits and elegant shirts draped flawlessly on the mannequins. Tetsurou's eyes were wide and when he looked at Shouyou, there were questions swirling in his golden gaze.

"You remembered?"

Shouyou only smirked. "Remembered what?"

Tetsurou opened his mouth to reply, but then noticed Shouyou smirk and laughed. He punched Shouyou lightly in the shoulder, grinning.

"I must say, I underestimated you," Tetsurou said. "Seems like that old man memory of yours isn't that bad yet."  

"Yet," Shouyou replied, grinning. "Come on, let's get you into something better than jeans. I can't take you out to dinner in those."

"Hey, I like my jeans, okay?" Tetsurou protested, but came along without any further delays.

It was the shop Shouyou himself often bought his suits at when he needed them, which wasn't often but it still counted. They were good quality and most importantly _his size_. Waving off the shop assistant, Shouyou immediately veered into the pants isle, turning his head to Tetsurou to talk over his shoulder.

"We'll start with pants, so just pick whatever you like. We'll try to match a jacket and a shirt to that," he said.

Tetsurou looked a little lost, his eyes criss-crossing as he tried to take in the piles and piles of material around him. Shouyou poked him in the stomach to get his attention.

"What colours do you want?" he asked. "I'll help you, don't panic."

"I'm not panicking," Tetsurou denied, but the tips of his ears turned pinkish, which made Shouyou smile to himself. "Um, I think black? Definitely black." Shouyou nodded for him to go on. "Maybe dark blue?"

"What about white?" Shouyou asked, eyeing the colour. He didn't have the height to pull it off, but Tetsurou... "Try them on for me?"

A smirk immediately bloomed on Tetsurou's face. "Ah, if it's for you, Shouyou-san, I can't refuse, now can I?"

Shouyou only rolled his eyes at him, smiling a little. He ran his fingers through different patterns and styles, looking for something to hook his eye on. Before either of them knew it, Shouyou was holding four pairs, each different from one another, and he handed them to Tetsurou to try on. The changing rooms were large and comfortable, and Shouyou sat on a big white pouf as he waited for Tetsurou to slip into the first pair.

The curtain slid to the side and at the sound, Shouyou turned his head to look. Tetsurou picked the white slacks first. They hugged his waist beautifully, slipped down his hips and underlined the shape of his thighs, but lower down... Shouyou scowled at the offending piece of material which widened at the knees and pooled uselessly at the ankles. Who even wore pants like that these days?

"Not my style, right?" Tetsurou must have noticed Shouyou's frown.

Shouyou sighed, disappointed.

"Unless you want to cut them off at the knees," he said, shrugging. "Try on the black ones next."

Tetsurou saluted and slipped back into the changing room. There was some rustling and shuffling as he put on another pair. This time, the effect was more pleasing, but something was still off. Shouyou looked critically at the pants, getting up from his seat to have a better look.

"Aren't they a bit too loose?" he asked.

"Hmm, not really?" Tetsurou asked, cocking his head to the side. He turned around to the big mirror, watching his reflection as Shouyou came closer.

"Yes, they are," Shouyou said. "Or well, they're not _too loose_ , they just don't fit you like they should." As if to prove the point, he turned Tetsurou front to the window, pinching the material at the back of his thighs. "See now?"

Tetsurou let out a small 'ohh' and Shouyou grinned to him in the mirror.

"You're really good at this," Tetsurou remarked conversationally, while changing into another pair. "How many suits did you buy in your life?"

Shouyou snickered at that. "Three? Maybe four?"

The curtain of the changing room swished as it was slid back and Tetsurou looked at him disbelievingly. Shouyou only shrugged, still smiling.

"Perks of having a wife," he said.

He expected Tetsurou to be a little awkward about it, but the man only smiled back at him as if it was a daily occurrence to talk with your _gay sugar daddy_ about his _ex-wife_. Refusing to let himself be shaken up, Shouyou focused on the pants.

"These look nice," he said.

And they did. From the pairs Tetsurou had tried on, these were definitely the best. No loose thighs, no weird pooling at the ankles. Shouyou hummed to himself.

"Try on the last pair, but put these on a different pile," he decided. "If we don't find anything better, we're taking them."

But they did. The next pair, black as the void, looked even better. It was deliciously tight around the hips; a little looser at the thighs, but Shouyou could still see the defined muscles; and the material ran straight down in a simple fashion – tight around the knees and only slightly less around the ankles. Shouyou swallowed a little as he walked around Tetsurou, searching for anything that could mar the perfection before him. He found nothing.

"I think I'm in love," he said, more to the pants than to Tetsurou, who chuckled in amusement.

"So I guess we're taking these?"

"Oh, definitely."

Shouyou couldn't tear his eyes away from Tetsurou's hips. And when Tetsurou turned around to slip into the changing room to put his jeans back on, Shouyou got a perfect view of his ass. He had to quickly look away, his cheeks stinging in a flush. He took a deep calming breath... or three.

Yes, the pants were a good choice. _Definitely_.

"Um, Shouyou-san?" Tetsurou's voice was a bit unsure when he appeared back from behind the curtain again. "Are you sure you want to buy these? I mean..." he pulled at the price tag, showing it to Shouyou.

Shouyou looked at the price unconcerned. It was a bit much, but you don't buy suits every other day.

"And?" he asked.

It was actually pretty cute to watch Tetsurou squirm and get embarrassed, the pink hue at the tips of his ears waking up something like endearment in Shouyou's locked up heart.

"I was thinking about this for a while now," Tetsurou started, his gold eyes serious and meeting Shouyou's head on. "You're just a journalist, right? How can you afford all of this?"

It hit right home and Shouyou grimaced. He didn't want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. But he didn't want to lie either. So instead, he put a smirk on his face.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day."

Tetsurou looked like he wanted to press the matter, but a moment later he dropped it. Shouyou noticed the curiosity brightening the golden orbs, though. Tetsurou squinted soon after, eyes narrowed and nose scrunched up a little. He leaned closer, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Are you working for the yakuza?" he asked.

Shouyou covered his mouth to hold back the laughter that wanted to burst out. He snickered into his hand. Leave it to Tetsurou to figure out his deepest, darkest secret. He grinned up at Tetsurou who was also sporting a smile.

"Let's get you a shirt to match these pants, mister detective," he joked, pulling Tetsurou along to the shirt's section.

The chains around his heart remained tight and tangled, but from the inside the bindings were slowly corroding in the warmth of Tetsurou's smile...

 

* * *

 

At quarter to eight in the evening, two days later, Shouyou parked near Tetsurou's apartment building. He was wearing the suit he had bought for Hitoka's wedding a few years back, but he left the jacket on the hanger in the backseat. The black vest looked as good on him as it always had and he was proud that he could still fit in the pants as if he had bought them yesterday. Despite that, he knew Tetsurou was going to look even better. A part of him hissed in jealousy, but another hummed in pleasure because, really, Tetsurou looked breathtaking.

To stretch his legs, he got out of the car, deciding to wait for Tetsurou in the warm weather that spoke of the coming spring. Five minutes later, Shouyou saw his date walking out of the building. Shouyou had to park on the other side of the street since all the spots on the parking lot were taken, but as he watched Tetsurou make his way to the crossing, he had to admit it was a lucky coincidence.

With half-lidded eyes, he noticed how great the black jacket hugged Tetsurou's form. He could see the material of the pants move with every twitch of Tetsurou's muscles. The shirt, dark velvety red, rich like wine, bewitched Shouyou's eyes and the thin black tie made his mouth water.

There were guys who looked like shit in suits. There were guys who looked passable. There were guys who looked good.

And then there was Tetsurou.

Shouyou leaned against his car, suddenly very aware that he was going to spend the whole evening having to distract himself from the treacherous thoughts that made his pants tighter than they should be.

But just as fast as they came, they disappeared.

Tetsurou was stepping onto the zebra now, one of his arms guiding a tiny old lady with a cane as he helped her though. He had a smile on his face, polite and bright and so, so kind while he listened to the lady, who rambled on about something.

Shouyou's heart struggled against the chains binding it, a few links melting and falling apart.

He couldn't take his eyes off the scene in front of him. Not when the two finally made it over the street, not when the lady patted Tetsurou's arm affectionately, not when Tetsurou bowed down respectfully before coming over. Not even when he was standing right in front of Shouyou, his smile morphing into a smirk as he raked his eyes over Shouyou's form.

"My, you look very nice," Tetsurou said as a greeting, but Shouyou's mind was somewhere else.

"Are you always like this?" Shouyou asked, ignoring Tetsurou's comment as he stared at him slightly bewildered.

"Like what?" Tetsurou asked, a wrinkle of confusion on his forehead.

"So..." Shouyou searched for the right word, but suddenly couldn't find it. "...kind."

Tetsurou's eyes softened, the gold glowing warmly. Shouyou couldn't tear his gaze away. Tetsurou's face was lit with a tender smile that stole Shouyou's breath away. It was one of those moments, Shouyou recognized, one of those 'it' moments. The air hummed with expectation, just like it did when he had kissed Hitoka for the first time. Just like it did when he was proposing. Just like it did when she slid her wedding band to him across the table and left. Just like it did when Shouyou let himself be embraced in another man's arms...

His memories burned under his skin, woken up by Tetsurou's gaze, by his character... _by him_.

And then Tetsurou snickered, ruining the mood.

"You should see me around my roommate, Bokuto," Tetsurou said, his grin sharp. "I'm twenty-three, Shouyou-san. I'm dumb as fuck."

Shouyou snorted at the elegant way Tetsurou had put it. His heart was pulling at the chains again, almost as if it had a mind of its own and it told it that Tetsurou was what it wanted. It was corroding the links, melting them and destroying the bindings, slowly but surely. Desperately, Shouyou tightened them, tied and tangled them in a messy knot. And hoped it'd be enough.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou's eyes kept coming back to Shouyou's profile as the man drove them to the restaurant he had picked. There was something off about the way Shouyou had looked at him before they got into the car, but Tetsurou couldn't put a finger on it. And he most definitely wasn't going to ask – the way Shouyou's lips pursed together was clear inclination that he didn't want to talk. Despite his curiosity, and a slight tinge of worry, Tetsurou knew it wasn't his place to press the matter.

Shouyou's tense form slowly relaxed the longer they drove and finally Tetsurou noticed the barely visible sigh leave Shouyou's chest along with the last remnants of it. Tetsurou wanted to say something to break the silence, but all of a sudden he couldn't think of anything to say. It was a little awkward, for the first time since they met, and Tetsurou came to the painful realization that except for the money and volleyball they really had nothing in common.

His heart thrummed in his chest anxiously as he swallowed and forced himself headfirst into this.

"Okay, let's play twenty questions," he said.

"What?" Shouyou blinked at him, stopping at a red light. "Where did this come from?"

Tetsurou only shrugged. "And why not? It passes the time, right?"

Shouyou couldn't disagree. Tetsurou grinned at him, and brightened when the corners of Shouyou's mouth twitched in a suppressed smile.

"Fine," Shouyou said. "What's your first question?"

"Your favourite childhood memory?" Tetsurou asked the first thing that came to his mind.

Shouyou hummed, putting the car in motion again. "Going to nationals with my volleyball team in high school, definitely."

"You went to nationals?" Tetsurou's eyes shone. "Wow, okay, that's so cool."

His old team was a good one, but even with them Tetsurou had never managed to win the ticket to nationals. The Tokyo prefecture's teams were just too strong these days. Which was even more reason to admire Shouyou.

"We actually played against Ushijima's school in the prefecture finals, you know?" Shouyou added. There was a hint of real pride in his voice and it made Tetsurou smile. "We won."

"So that's how you know him!" Tetsurou couldn't hold in his excitement. "You're friends from school?"

"More like rivals, really," Shouyou smiled at him, his eyes brighter than before.

"That's amazing," Tetsurou said honestly. "But wait, why aren't you playing pro if you were good enough to be Ushijima's rival?"

The moment the words had left his mouth he knew he fucked up. Shouyou's face darkened and closed off. His eyes lost all the light. His genuine smile disappeared without a trace. It hurt Tetsurou to watch the fake replacement that was plastered on Shouyou's face instead.

"My turn for questions," Shouyou said and Tetsurou let it go.

There was something Shouyou was hiding, something that he probably hadn't come to terms with himself. Something connected with Shouyou's past volleyball career. Tetsurou swore to himself he'd avoid mentioning it ever again.

"What's your favourite colour?" Shouyou asked. It was a simple question. Easy. Boring. And yet, somehow, Tetsurou had found it refreshing.

"You wouldn't guess it by my clothes, but it's green," he replied.

"That's... unexpected," Shouyou admitted. "I was pretty sure it'd be black."

"Nope," Tetsurou accentuated the 'p'. "I actually like gold, too."

"I like gold, too," Shouyou said. "Like your eyes."

Tetsurou felt the heat rise to his cheeks. But he wouldn't be played like that, no.

"I like your eyes, too, Shouyou-san," he fired back. "Especially when you smile."

The air was thick and heavy between them, and Tetsurou could see how Shouyou swallowed hard, but the man said nothing. He focused on driving and before Tetsurou could appropriately react to the way his heart still hammered in his chest, they were turning into a driveway of a restaurant. They got out of the car and Tetsurou caught the sight of Shouyou pulling on his jacket, and he had to look away.

Shouyou wasn't the tallest, but his suit fit him perfectly. The white collar stuck out against his tanned skin, held in place by the black tie. The vest hugged Shouyou's chest and when he was slipping his arms into the jacket sleeves, the shirt tightened on them, showing off Shouyou's biceps. Tetsurou still remembered how they felt under his fingers when he had touched them only a few days ago. He didn't expect the hard muscles he had found there, but now that he knew...

"You okay?" Shouyou asked and Tetsurou almost jumped because he didn't notice him circling the car to stand next to him.

Taking a deep breath to clear his head, Tetsurou nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He swallowed. "Yeah."

Shouyou left his keys to the valet and they entered the restaurant. It was probably the most impressive place Tetsurou had ever dined at: the walls were dark brown marble (it could've been wallpaper, but Tetsurou couldn't really check, now could he); ceilings high above his head with intricate golden chandeliers that would probably kill him on the spot if one of them fell on top of him; the carpets were soft under his shoes and deep burgundy red, only a shade brighter than his dress shirt; the tables sat at appropriate distances for private conversations, their tablecloths pearl white, utensils golden, glasses crystal. Everything spelled _R-I-C-H_ and Tetsurou felt _very out of place_.

"Okay, now I'm scared," he said, his voice a little higher than normal.

Shouyou turned to him, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips. "Want to get takeout instead?"

Tetsurou was tempted to say yes. Oh, he was so tempted. But they had already made it here. Shouyou even bought a suit for him, for fuck's sake. _Get it together, Tetsurou,_ he chided himself.

"No, no," he answered. "It'd be a waste, don't you think?"

"Not really," Shouyou shrugged. "I never liked places like this. Reminds me of–" He cut himself off, shaking his head. "You know what, it doesn't matter. Let's go."

He reached over and squeezed Tetsurou's hand once before he let go and lead him further inside. Tetsurou almost wished Shouyou would keep holding his hand, but he squished that ridiculous feeling. He was not a child, he could handle this...

...or not.

They were guided to their table and Tetsurou sat down, looking in complete bewilderment at about ten different forks, knives and spoons on both sides of his plate. He could tell what maybe two of these were for and the rest was just a mind-boggling mystery. He was opening his mouth to ask Shouyou if he knew, but their waiter was already there and handing him the menu. His eyes watered at the prices.

"Shouyou-san?" he asked, a little dizzy. The man only hummed without looking up from his menu. "Can I ask you to promise me something?"

This got Shouyou's attention and amber eyes flicked up to meet his gaze. The marble walls in the background seemed to only bring out the depth of the colour trapped in Shouyou's irises. Tetsurou swallowed.

"Please never take me on a fancy dinner again," he whispered.

And Shouyou laughed. He _laughed_. Straight in Tetsurou's face.

He was fighting between being offended and amused, but seeing Shouyou's face like this – flushed, radiant and happy – he couldn't help but smile. His heart skipped and hadn't stopped skipping when Shouyou's laughter died down.

"Fine," Shouyou said with an easy grin. "I promise."

They ordered their food, something Tetsurou couldn't pronounce (once again) and he didn't even want to know the price of, and fell into a comfortable conversation. They returned to their twenty questions game, topics slipping easily: favourite animal, movie, food, book; what did you want to be when you were young; how was your first kiss; who was your first crush. Before they knew it, they were finishing their food (there wasn't much of it, but it was heaven in Tetsurou's mouth, he had to admit).

And Tetsurou's damned heart hadn't stopped skipping the whole time.

When they got back to the car, the lights on the streets were already lit, dispersing the darkness of the night. In their dim yellow glow, Tetsurou watched Shouyou shrug his jacket off and take his place behind the wheel. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and Tetsurou could focus on little else except his wildly beating heart.

It was quiet on the ride back to his place, but every bit of conversation ended with one of them smiling. It's been a while since Tetsurou had felt this content, this safe in the knowledge that there was someone who cared and wanted to have him around as something more than just a sex object.

Shouyou stopped the car right before the entrance to the building. He pulled out his wallet and passed Tetsurou the money. Twenty five thousand yen weighed heavily in Tetsurou's hand as he slipped it into the pocket of his jacket. This was his cue to leave, but... he didn't want to leave.

"Hey, Shouyou-san?" he asked, turning away from his window. "Did you have fun tonight?"

His heart hammered against his chest as he watched Shouyou's face slip into an easy smile. It wasn't as bright as some, but it was gentle and warm. A well inside Tetsurou broke suddenly.

"Yeah, I did," Shouyou replied.

But Tetsurou wasn't listening anymore. His chest was flooded with feelings, with everything he had tried to suppress. He didn't want to fall for this man, he honestly tried not to. And yet, by a sick twist of fate, he found himself here – leaning over to the other seat, closing his fingers around Shouyou's tie, and pulling him into a kiss.

He felt a sharp breath on his face. His heartbeat thundered in his ears as their lips slid together. It was just a brush, but adrenaline spiked in Tetsurou's veins. He would have pushed himself closer if a firm hand on his chest hadn't stopped him.

Blinking away the slight daze, he allowed the tie to slip away from his fingers. Shouyou's eyes were dark up close and his smile was gone.

"You shouldn't have done that," he said barely above a whisper. "I'm not paying you for this kind of stuff."

"I know," Tetsurou breathed, searching Shouyou's face but it was suddenly closed off. "Does that mean I can't kiss you?"

He could see the fight Shouyou was waging with his own feelings. His face might have been impassive, but his eyes were not. They were as expressive as always. Tetsurou could see the reluctance, the fear, the desperation... He didn't know what Shouyou was thinking, didn't know how to respond to all of this, but before he could arrive at any decision, Shouyou had made his own. There was a gleam of resignation in burning amber when he said:

"You shouldn't."

And Tetsurou's heart leaped. It wasn't you can't. It wasn't don't. It was _you shouldn't_.

A slow grin crawled onto Tetsurou's face. He could see Shouyou's eyes trace the quirk of his lips and it was enough. This was good. _You shouldn't, but you can if you want_.

"That wasn't a no," Tetsurou said and dived back to claim Shouyou's lips.

His hand found its way to Shouyou's tie again, but instead of holding it, he pressed his palm to Shouyou's chest. The thrum underneath his fingers was speeding up and Tetsurou took his time, slowly, leisurely edging Shouyou to respond by leaving small kisses on his lips. And when Shouyou finally unfroze – pressing a warm palm to the side of Tetsurou's neck and leaning into him to press their lips together fully – Tetsurou couldn't imagine a better payment than this for a night like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *maniac laughter* 
> 
> kuroo's clothes if anyone needs visuals: [upper half ](http://img03.taobaocdn.com/imgextra/i3/166200764/T23oDxXgdXXXXXXXXX_!!166200764.jpg)| [pants ](http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/1257242259/New-Men-s-Slim-Fit-Casual-Formal-Straight-Dress-Pants-Smooth-Trousers-2color.jpg)


	6. Counting kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a slight delay but here it is, another chapter! and we finally get some smut today, enjoy~ ;3c

Tetsurou's only free day was on Wednesday, but when he started working even that had been taken away. He didn't necessarily mind, though. Less free time meant more work, and more work meant more money. Except now that he had found another patron, the money was no longer such a pressing matter. It was because of work that his time with Shouyou became more and more limited.

Tetsurou remembered how at the beginning of their relationship he had said that he'd be the one to fit his schedule to Shouyou's, but as the time passed it became clear that it was the other way around. Tetsurou felt a little – actually a lot – guilty about it, but Shouyou just shrugged it off and told him not to worry. So he didn't. God only knew that he had enough to worry about without it.

And the first on the list was _the kiss_.

An involuntary shiver ran down Tetsurou's back when he thought back to the Saturday night. It was incredible, the way their bodies responded to each other as if they were already used to such intimacy.

Tetsurou remembered the feel of Shouyou's soft lips on his, the sound of his heartbeat, the shimmer of his breath. He could recall the smell of the leather in Shouyou's car and the faint scent of Shouyou's cologne – intoxicating and irresistible. His fingertips tingled with the memory of the crisp white shirt and the silky tie around Shouyou's neck. And, of course, he remembered the tongue rubbing against his and the mouth hot as coals that was drawing him in with every stuttering heartbeat; the shaky breaths and small gasps that he swallowed before they could slip out from between Shouyou's lips; the way Shouyou's hand trembled against Tetsurou's neck as he pulled him closer and deeper in. He remembered it all so well, that if he closed his eyes he could smell the leather and feel the tips of Shouyou's fingers dip into the hair on his nape as if he was right next to him, doing exactly that.

Tetsurou didn't know how long they had been kissing for, but it was both the longest and the shortest time of his life. The way Shouyou's eyes gleamed like burning embers made Tetsurou's breath stuck in his throat. He wondered, back then, what it would be like, _feel_ _like_ , to have those mesmerizing eyes gaze down at him from above the tangled sheets, with no clothes to hold them back, and his heart thrummed in his chest like a hammer on red-hot metal. Sparks danced across his body, awakening the flames along the way, itching on Tetsurou's skin and making him _want_.

But just as fast as the sudden desire warmed up Tetsurou's insides, Shouyou smothered it with small kisses. So sweet, so tiny, so perfect that the heat itself had melted away, leaving only the tender rawness of his feelings. It was strange when Tetsurou whispered a goodbye against Shouyou's lips, even stranger when Shouyou replied with one last kiss. And yet, there was something in that strangeness that settled in Tetsurou's heart as if it had been melded for him, a missing piece he wasn't even looking for.

Tetsurou's lips tingled at the still vivid memories. He wasn't aware he was daydreaming, with a small smile on his face that made him look like a complete idiot, but thankfully, he had the always oh-so-helpful bartender Mattsun to point that out for him.

"What's with the stupid grin?" Mattsun asked while preparing the drinks for Tetsurou to take away to the customers.

"What grin?" Tetsurou asked, immediately wiping his smile off his face and frowning instead. Mattsun's teasing grin only widened.

"Did someone steal the kitten's heart?" he cooed, eyes flicking briefly to meet Tetsurou's as he poured a blue drink into a martini glass.

"No," Tetsurou answered, a vein throbbing on his forehead. "And don't call me that."

Mattsun was already opening his mouth to say something equally as annoying as everything that came out of his mouth, but Makki chose that moment to enter the bar. Apparently, it was time for a shift change and Tetsurou breathed out in relief. He noticed how Mattsun's eyes followed the other waiter when he slipped into the personnel's changing rooms at the end of the hall. Tetsurou smirked.

"Speaking of stolen hearts..." he leaned against the bar more comfortably, eyes gleaming mischievously. "How's it going with dear Makki?"

Mattsun only snorted at his change of subject, but he let it go. He put the drinks on Tetsurou's tray and shooed him away with his hand.

"Go make yourself useful, kitty cat," Mattsun said, seemingly unconcerned. Everyone working at the bar knew he and Makki were a thing – or _will be_ once they get past the whole 'we're just bros' delusion. "Or I'll tell Hanamaki about your newfound love and we'll see who's gonna laugh then."

"You wouldn't," Tetsurou gasped. It was no secret that Makki liked meddling in other people's affairs. Especially when it was something juicy and Tetsurou had the faintest feeling that having a crush on your sugar daddy counted as Juicy. With the capital J.

Mattsun only smirked at him. "Try me."

Tetsurou would rather not. He slinked away, taking the drinks to the table that ordered them, and when he came back Makki was already there to change him. Throwing a warning glance at a smiling Mattsun, Tetsurou left to gather his stuff. A message from Shouyou was already waiting on his phone and he couldn't help but smile at it.

His pants unzipped and barely holding on his hips since he was in the middle of changing out of his work clothes, he thumbed in Shouyou's number (which he may or may not have leaned by heart). Excitement coursed through his veins as he listened to the long beeps of the connecting call.

"Are we still on for lunch?" he asked before Shouyou could even greet him properly.

There was a sigh on the line and Tetsurou felt his bubble of excitement burst.

"Sorry, I have some last minute editing to do," Shouyou said and from the tone of his voice Tetsurou could tell he was grimacing. "But if you grab some takeout and come over we can hang out? I still need to eat."

With an easy grin, Tetsurou hummed. "I think I can handle that."

"See you later, then."

In a great mood, Tetsurou finished changing and after sending Mattsun a cheerful wave in farewell, he skipped out of his workplace. It took him about half an hour to get to Shouyou's place through the busy city. He remembered there was a small meat bun stand right next to Shouyou's apartment building and he picked a bag of them on his way up. They smelled so good that while he counted floors in the elevator, he could hear his stomach grumbling in need. Finally, the elevator stopped and Tetsurou pushed the door at the same time as someone pulled them from the outside.

Blinking in surprise, Tetsurou found himself face to face with one of Shouyou's friends – the black-haired guy who was all touchy-feely with Shouyou back at the bar. He reminded Tetsurou of someone, but for the love of God he could not tell who–

"Kageyama!" Shouyou's voice snapped them both out of their silent staring contest and the guy turned his head to the side.

And then Tetsurou recognized him. Kageyama Tobio, Tokyo Blue Rockets' star setter. Bewildered, he watched the man's profile and wondered if Shouyou had played against him in high school as well.

A jiggling of the keys snapped him to attention when Kageyama snatched them from the air.

"You always lose your keys, Bakageyama," Shouyou said, standing in the door of his flat. "One day you'll get locked out of your own house and I'm not letting you crash on my couch, you hear me?"

"Who'd want to sleep on your couch, dumbass?" Kageyama snorted. "I'd rather sleep in a hotel room, thanks."

They scowled at each other and then Kageyama turned back to the elevator... which Tetsurou was still blocking. He twitched and stepped away quickly. Kageyama entered without a second glance and as the doors closed behind him, Tetsurou felt a nervous smile appear on his face. His mind was still reeling when he and Shouyou sat on the couch in Shouyou's living room, the bag of meat buns on the coffee table and plates in their hands.

"You know Kageyama, too?" Tetsurou finally choked out. "He's the setter for Blue Rockets', right?"

"Yeah," Shouyou mumbled, his mouth full and eyes closed in bliss. It made Tetsurou smile a little. Shouyou wasn't kidding when he said he loved meat buns.

"How many more famous people do you know?" he couldn't hold back his curiosity, munching on his bun.

Shouyou swallowed his meat bun whole before he answered him. "Oh, I don't know, a few?"

"Like who?" Tetsurou pressed, finishing for details. He looked up at Shouyou's scrunched up in thought face, licking the gravy off his fingers.

"Like Arrows' Oikawa?" Shouyou offered. "Or Thunders' Aone?"

"Aone, oh god," Tetsurou moaned, forgetting about the meat buns and turning fully to Shouyou with an excited grin. "You have to get me his autograph!"

Shouyou snickered. "A fan, are you?"

"You've no idea," Tetsurou said, eyes bright. "He's my idol. There's no middle blocker who doesn't look up to him! He's incredible."

He caught the small, affectionate smile that appeared for a moment on Shouyou's face and he wondered whether it was directed at him or at the amazing middle blocker. Hope battered in Tetsurou's chest, but he was too shy to ask what he so deseprately wanted to know.

"He is incredible," Shouyou agreed easily, reaching for another bun. "And intimidating. But also the sweetest guy you'd ever meet, once you get over how freaking tall and broad he is."

"Everyone is tall compared to you, Shouyou-san," Tetsurou teased and snickered when Shouyou's mouth dropped open in outrage.

"So what, you kiss me once and you're suddenly getting rude with me?" Shouyou asked, trying to sound offended, but his eyes sparkled warmly and only made Tetsurou smirk.

"From what I remember it was more than once, but, you know," he shrugged, seemingly careless. "No one's counting or anything."

Tetsurou took a bite of another meat bun and just a second later he wished he hadn't. Shouyou's cheeks coloured a little and he was turning his eyes away, a little shy, a little embarrassed and– Tetsurou almost choked on the food in his mouth. It was too cute, god, he couldn't just sit there and _eat meat buns_ , while all he could think of were Shouyou's lips – now stained with gravy – and flushed skin and those warm, glowing eyes...

The mood between them shifted and they ate their share in awkward silence. Magnanimously, Tetsurou let Shouyou have the last bun. The grin he received in return could melt the harshest of winter snows and Tetsurou could feel his heart do the same. Just as Shouyou was about to dig in, he froze.

"Oh, wait," he put the plate with the bun down on the table, stood up and disappeared for a while in an adjacent room, which Tetsurou guessed was the bedroom. He came back a second later, handing Tetsurou something that at a first glance looked like a book. "I searched through my mom's whole attic to find it, so you better appreciate."

And he went back to eating. Tetsurou wiped his hands on his jeans and carefully pulled open the cover. A very unmanly squeak left his throat.

"Baby pictures?" he asked in wondrous disbelief.

Shouyou laughed at him. "Yeah, knock yourself out."

"Oh, I shall," Tetsurou grinned at him sharply, already flipping through the pages.

It was an album starting somewhere in elementary school and went through all of middle school, going even further into high school. Tetsurou looked at the photos, not really surprised to notice that Shouyou didn't change much. Of course, he was older now, his face grew into the crinkles and harshness of adulthood, but his hair and eyes were still as soft looking as they had when he was just a kid. And his smiles... His smiles didn't change at all: they were as bright, as infectious and as full of energy as they were now.

He could also pinpoint the exact moment when volleyball entered Shouyou's life. The further Tetsurou looked, the more pictures had some element of it until all of them were volleyball connected. He snickered to himself, because he could definitely say that they had this in common.

"So what made you play volleyball in the first place?" Tetsurou asked, glancing up from the album.

Shouyou hummed, grabbing the empty bag and their plates.

"I was always biking home, because we lived over the mountain in Miyagi," he started explaining. "And then one day I was riding next to this TV shop and they had an Inter High match on. Karasuno, my high school, was racking up points like mad and it was all because of this small guy, just a little taller than me. Obviously, I fell in love."

Tetsurou grinned, watching how Shouyou's eyes glazed over as he reminisced the good, old times. He was smiling softly, beautifully, and for a second time Tetsurou really wanted to kiss him. He might have done it as well, but Shouyou chose that moment to take their plates and the empty bag, and disappeared in the kitchen. Hiding his disappointment, Tetsurou got back to the album.

Shouyou wasn't the only one on the pictures, not always. There were lots of girls in the middle school photos and recurring two guys: one with light brownish hair and freckles, and the other with spiky black hair and huge eyebrows. They disappeared somewhere in the high school pictures and Tetsurou deduced that they had probably gone to another school. Instead of them, Tetsurou recognized a gloomy face of a younger, much younger, Kageyama Tobio. He was scowling at the camera – or at Shouyou, it was hard to tell – but their uniforms were clearly the same.

For a moment, Tetsurou looked at the picture and wondered. Shouyou personally knew a lot of amazing players of his generation. He played with or against some of them. He went to nationals. So why on earth was he a journalist? Why wasn't he playing? Kageyama was still actively kicking ass, and Shouyou had worked with the guy for at least 3 years so why... Why didn't he go pro?

The questions bubbled in Tetsurou's brain, but he still remembered the way Shouyou reacted when he had asked about Ushijima. His face was closed off, cold and indifferent, but Tetsurou knew the look of helpless pain that darkened Shouyou's eyes. Something must have happened, in high school or maybe later on, that made it impossible for Shouyou to play. Tetsurou's heart clenched a bit in his chest. Shouyou always talked so animatedly about volleyball, he loved it so much that it was just... cruel.

Shouyou came back into the room and Tetsurou startled out of his thoughts. He flipped a page and something fell to the floor. Gently, he picked it up. It was a piece of folded paper and when he opened it, his jaw dropped open.

"Is this you?" he asked, in awe.

The paper he was holding was not just any paper. It was a small poster, beautifully made, of a volleyball court, net and lights and all. And there was a guy – _Shouyou_ – in the peak of his jump, arm raised to spike the incoming ball. The angle was breathtaking and Tetsurou stared at the poster, watching the younger Shouyou soar.

"Hmm, yeah, that's me," Shouyou said, leaning over Tetsurou's shoulder to get a look. "My ex-wife took the picture and Kageyama set the ball. It took like a hundred tries to get it right," he laughed fondly.

"It was worth it, though," Tetsurou said, turning his head to smile at Shouyou. "You look breathtaking."

Their faces were close and Tetsurou could clearly see the small, almost invisible freckles peppered across Shouyou's cheeks and nose. Shouyou's blinked, a faint flush turning his face pink. He looked away from Tetsurou and walked around the couch to sit right next to him. He pulled his legs up and crossed them under himself, pulling at the album to lay it half on his knee, half on Tetsurou's.

He pointed to the picture his high school team took at some graduation event, probably.

"Look, here's Tsukishima and Yamaguchi," Shouyou said and indeed, Tetsurou recognized the blond guy Shouyou bickered with at his bar and the brunet with freckles whom he remembered from their first official date. "And this," Shouyou pointed to a tiny blonde girl that was standing next to Yamaguchi. "This is Hitoka, my ex-wife."

Tetsurou looked at the picture, silent. He didn't know what to say. It was awkward, talking about Shouyou's wife when he was not so long ago thinking about kissing the man. Shouyou must have noticed his reluctance, because without another word, he flipped over the page.

"Oh, yeah, I think I have a picture with Aone here somewhere," Shouyou said suddenly, looking through the album. "Aha! There it is!"

He proudly showed it to Tetsurou, who took one look at the photo and started laughing.

"God, you're so tiny," he managed between his chuckles.

"Hey, that's rude!" Shouyou pouted. "Aone is just tall, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, that's all it is," Tetsurou agreed, grinning.

Shouyou narrowed his eyes at him, his lips still pursed in a pout. His cheeks were a little puffed out like a hamster's and Tetsurou's only thought was: _cute_. Before he knew it, he was closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to that adorable pouting mouth. He felt Shouyou tense up, but it only lasted a moment before he relaxed. Shouyou responded by resting his hand on Tetsurou's nape and frankly, Tetsurou wouldn't be able to find a better place for it if he tried. Leaning closer, he let himself get lost in Shouyou's warm kisses.

 

* * *

 

Shouyou still wasn't used to this. To the skip in his heart, almost freezing him with expectation, and fear racing in his veins. To the breathlessness of surprise and slow acceptance that made his head spin as he reached out a hand to anchor himself to anything within grasp. To the chapped lips on his, kissing away his resistance, a little dry, a little bitten, a little... perfect. But what he wasn't used to most was the tongue, hot like fire, melting away all of Shouyou's barriers and freeing up his chained heart.

He wanted to stop, but couldn't. He wanted to push Tetsurou away, but he pulled him closer instead.

It seemed like his own body was betraying him, like his mind was cut off from the rest of it – useless. Shouyou knew he should hate it. Tetsurou was only doing this for the money, he was only doing his _job_. And yet the way his eyes gleamed when Shouyou dared to look at him, the way his lips quirked in a soft smile when he thought Shouyou couldn't see, it seemed more than that. And Shoyou's stupid, naive heart fluttered.

Tetsurou shifted, their noses brushing in a tender caress that made Shouyou's breath hitch. Tetsurou's whole body turned towards him, oozing with heat so comfortable that Shouyou felt the ridiculous urge to bury himself in Tetsurou's chest. He didn't, though, choosing to claim Tetsurou's lips again. Shouyou could taste the meat buns on Tetsurou's tongue and really, it was probably his favourite flavour. He pulled himself up to lock both of his arms around Tetsurou's neck. The approving hum he received from the other made Shouyou's heart skitter. One of Tetsurou's arms found its way to Shuyou's waist, pulling, pulling, pulling him closer until Shouyou was almost straddling Tetsurou's lap.

The album fell off the couch with a loud thud, making them both jump a little in surprise.

They both looked at the floor to see the pictures that fell out scattered on the carpet. And then Shouyou realized that his arms still were around Tetsurou's neck, and Tetsurou's arm around his waist. Face to face, nose to nose, Shouyou looked Tetsurou in the eye.

"Um," he started very intelligently, feeling a blush creep onto his cheeks. "I–I should probably clean that up..."

"Yeah," Tetsurou agreed, his voice a little raspy, and fuck Shouyou didn't want to move at all. In fact, he wanted to crawl even closer, let their bodies mould into one, even though he knew he shouldn't. "Probably..."

But Tetsurou's arm didn't leave Shouyou's waist. Shouyou tried to get himself together and move, but by then it was too late. Tetsurou's golden eyes burned when he closed the distance between them again, and Shouyou was like a fly caught in a spider's net – helpless to resist being devoured. The last threads of control he had left snapped and when Tetsurou's tongue sneaked into his mouth, Shouyou caved.

He flipped his leg over Tetsurou's lap and straddled him, pushing him into the back of the couch. There was no surprise in Tetsurou's touch when he pulled Shouyou closer, his hands resting on Shouyou's hips. Their mouths were still locked and Shouyou let his hands slip into Tetsurou's messy hair. He tugged on a few strands and the groan that spilled from Tetsurou's lips made him pause. Pushing himself on his knees, he tugged at the black hair to make Tetsurou look at him.

Golden eyes shone brightly, Tetsurou's lips abused red from kissing and hair messy from Shouyou's rough treatment. He looked gorgeous and Shouyou could hardly stop himself from just taking what he wanted then and there. But he couldn't. Wouldn't. He trailed the side of Tetsurou's face with a finger, ran his thumb under his bottom lip.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Shouyou asked quietly.

Tetsurou's face softened, a smile playing in the corner of his mouth. "More than okay."

The last of the shackles Shouyou had put around his heart fell with a clutter that sent a violent shiver up his spine. Pushing away all of his doubts, all of the concerns, Shouyou let himself lean forward until their chests were aligned perfectly, until he could feel the rise and fall of it on his own, and he gave in – kissing Tetsurou with all the passion he was previously holding back.

It took only a second for Tetsurou to return it. His hands, large and warm, pressed into Shouyou's back, pushing them closer together. It was more than enough, but also not enough, and in silent frustration Shouyou bit into Tetsurou's lip. Something between a moan and a hiss left Tetsurou's mouth, making Shouyou's blood boil. He would've bit him again, just to hear that delicious sound, but Tetsurou didn't let him have the upper hand for long. With effortless grace, he grabbed Shouyou by the waist and laid him down on the couch. Shouyou blinked at the sudden change in position, but his thoughts cut off abruptly when Tetsurou's body pressed him deeper into the couch.

He sighed at the slight pressure of Tetsurou's hip on his crotch. He had to remind himself that this way okay, that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing, but one kiss from Tetsurou's lips was enough to hush his mind. Because nothing that was this good, that felt this right, could ever not be okay.

Shouyou slipped his arms down, his hands running down Tetsurou's chest, down his sides, up to rest on his broad back. Heat sizzled on Shouyou's skin when one of Tetsurou's hands brushed across his stomach to hold his hip, the thumb rubbing circles in the bare flesh where Shouyou's t-shirt rolled up. Their kisses were passionate, but slow and lazy at the same time, and Shouyou could feel his arousal stirring the longer they kissed. If the hardened bulge in Tetsurou's pants was anything to go by, Shouyou would say he was in a similar position.

Tetsurou's breath hitched, breaking the kiss, when Shouyou arched his hips a bit off the couch to rub against him. The golden of Tetsurou's eyes was still bright, but his pupils were blown, leaving only a small ring of the iris left. He looked good like this – eyes dilated in pleasure, messy hair falling into his face, lips parted in a gasp. Below him, Shouyou found himself mesmerized.

"I got so lucky," he said before his brain-to-mouth filter could work. Tetsurou looked down at him, eyes questioning and Shouyou couldn't help the blush that heated up his face. He didn't look away, though. "You're gorgeous," he said.

There was a moment of stunned silence when Tetsurou only gazed down at him with his mouth parted and a pink tint across his cheekbones. But then he smiled.

"Me? Gorgeous?" he asked, leaning down. "Have you seen yourself?"

He didn't give Shouyou a chance to answer, sealing his lips with a kiss. Not that Shouyou minded.

It didn't last long, though. Tetsurou moved across Shouyou's jaw, leaving small nips and kisses along the way that made Shouyou turn his head to the side obediently and arch into Tetsurou's skilled mouth. A hot swipe of the tongue at the juncture of his jaw made Shouyou shiver, which Tetsurou clearly felt because the next thing Shouyou knew he was gasping as the other sucked on the tender skin below Shouyou's ear. The small whine that left Shouyou's lips would be embarrassing, but in this moment he felt too good to care.

He pulled Tetsurou closer so that he was almost lying on top of him. His hands slipped under Tetsurou's shirt, fingers dipping into the flesh, the muscles, the bones and clinging for dear life as Tetsurou's lips slid lower down his neck. Tetsurou stopped in the crook of Shouyou's shoulder, licking and sucking in a hickey, which made Shouyou arch into him with a soft moan.

"Shouyou-san," Tetsurou mumbled into Shouyou's neck, biting his way up his throat.

Shouyou angled his head to let him do it freely, and looked back down when Tetsurou pressed the final kiss to his chin. Shouyou's gaze was hazy with pleasure and he had trouble focusing on anything else other than Tetsurou's lips. Which, of course, Tetsurou had noticed, because his mouth curled in a smirk.

"Shouyou-san," he repeated and Shouyou's heart panged against his ribcage at the sound of his name. "Can I give you a blowjob?"

And then his heart stopped. His breath whooshed out of his lungs and Shouyou stared unblinkingly at the mouth that had just said–

"What?" he whispered.

Tetsurou chuckled and it was the smoothest, most sinful sound Shouyou had heard in his entire life. Blood rushed to his face and he could feel his ears sting. Yet all of it was insignificant compared to the way Tetsurou leaned down, the hand that had been resting on Shouyou's hip moved a little to the side, a little lower than before, resting palm flat over Shouyou's crotch. The warmth seeped through the clothing and Shouyou's head spun with desire.

"I asked," Tetsurou repeated, "if I could give you a blowjob?"

The hand pressed more into Shouyou's groin and he helplessly arched into it. Pleasure spiked in his veins and his mouth opened in a moan.

"Yes, god yes," left his mouth before he could even fully comprehend what he was agreeing to. He could have been selling his soul to the devil himself and he wouldn't have cared.

Tetsurou didn't wait for anything else. He slipped off the couch, pulling Shouyou up to sit on the edge and kneeled right before him. In a haze, Shouyou watched how Tetsurou's hands reached to his jeans. The button popped, the zipper went down. Tetsurou's warm palm rubbed against Shouyou's hardon and he swallowed harshly in anticipation. Finally, Tetsurou slipped down his trunks and Shouyou sucked in a breath as the air and Tetsurou's hand caressed his bare length.

Tetsurou's golden eyes flicked up at him when he licked his lips. Fire burned in Shouyou's veins and before Tetsurou could get to work, he caught his chin and leaned down to kiss him. The thumb running over the side of his dick made it hard to focus and soon Shouyou was out of breath, gasping into Tetsurou's mouth.

And then, agonizingly slow, Tetsurou moved down, his neck bending until Shouyou could feel the warmth of his breath against his shaft. He watched how Tetsurou pressed a kiss to the head and then gave an experimental lick. A groan ripped out of Shouyou's chest, half from the feeling, half from watching Tetsurou. The hot swipe of the tongue on the underside of his dick made Shouyou shiver a little, the feeling building up low in his abdomen a familiar pressure of heat.

He let one of his hands entangle itself in Tetsurou's curls as he took his length into his mouth. With a groan, Shouyou's fingers tightened. Tetsurou sucked on him, licked and nipped, and Shouyou could do nothing but let himself get swallowed in his rhythm. He caressed Tetsurou's neck, keeping his hair out of the way and groaning appreciatively at the way Tetsurou's head bobbed up and down on his shaft.

It didn't take long before the sweet, white urgency of the impeding orgasm flared beneath Shouyou's skin. He tugged on a strand of hair, swallowing a moan.

"Tetsurou, you should–"

He gasped, when Tetsurou instead of pulling up, took him in even deeper. Shouyou could feel the head of his dick prod against the back of Tetsurou's throat and he couldn't suppress a moan when Tetsurou swallowed around him. The tension in Shouyou's muscled screamed for release and he couldn't hold it back anymore. Forcefully uncurling his fingers from Tetsurou's hair in case he wanted to move back, Shouyou closed his eyes and gave into the pleasure with a deep groan.

He could still feel Tetsurou's head working as he came in his mouth. His vision blurred for a moment and Shouyou wasn't really sure he was breathing. The orgasm wrecked through his body, making him tremble harder than he had ever remembered. It's been a long while since he'd done this with another person and Tetsurou was just...

Through hooded eyes, Shouyou watched Tetsurou pull off his dick, licking it clean. There was saliva and cum smeared over his lips and chin and Shouyou hadn't seen anything hotter in his entire life.

He took a breath, leaning forward and cupping Tetsurou's reddened with effort face in his hands. Golden eyes were hazy with lust and Shouyou revelled in them for just a moment before he closed the distance between them and kissed the still wet lips. He could taste himself on Tetsurou's tongue and maybe in any other situation he would be disgusted, but right now he was a little amazed, and a bit touched, and a tad messed up. His throat tightened around the unnamed emotion, and he swallowed harshly, propping his forehead on Tetsurou's.

"Come on up," Shouyou finally said. "Let me help you in return."

Soft breath fanned his lips before Tetsurou answered, "I– I'm fine, you don't have to do this."

"Not even if I want to?" Shouyou asked, gently prodding. "Of course, only if _you_ want me to. I don't want to insist on something just because I'm paying you."

There it was. He said it. His heart clenched a bit, because after all, this was all about the money. They might have clicked together, they might have had a great time, amazing chemistry, but in the end...

Tetsurou looked away, avoiding Shouyou's eyes for a moment. When he let their gazes meet again, his eyes were still glazed with desire, but there was a steel gleam of determination woven in the heated gold.

"If you want to," Tetsurou paused to swallow. "If you want to, I can trust you."

He put a hand on Shouyou's thigh, his grip a little stronger than necessary and Shouyou had a strange feeling that there was something... something... He didn't know what, but there was something _off_ about this. His gut feeling told him to leave it for now though, and Shouyou trusted it.

Smiling at Tetsurou gently, Shouyou pressed a tiny kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Then trust me," he asked earnestly. "And if you want me to stop, just tell me. Okay?"

Tetsurou breathed in, closing his eyes briefly. His lips stretched into a small smile that looked far too vulnerable on his face, reminding Shouyou painfully that this man before him was only twenty-three years old.

"Yeah," Tetsurou said, his voice hushed. "Okay."

As Shouyou gathered him in his arms and laid him down on the couch, leaving soft kisses on his lips, he had an epiphany. That thing that's been bothering him, the feeling that something was off, that there was a secret that Tetsurou was keeping from him, that he wanted to hide... Shouyou realized he might know what it is.

And if he was right, things might have looked grimmer than he had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if you see the hints I'm laying out hmmm....


	7. Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ANGST IS UPON US AHHHHHHH  
> prepare the tissues and dig in~

Almost two weeks had passed since that day when Shouyou had realized something was wrong about Tetsurou's behaviour and his bad feeling hadn't left for a single moment. If it was anything other than what Shouyou suspected, he would have asked about it openly, but... This was a delicate matter. He couldn't just flat out ask why Tetsurou was so hesitant to let Shouyou touch him. Was he abused? Was he molested? Was he forced? The word rape didn't even want to register in Shouyou's mind, but the very concept made him anxious.

It was painfully obvious that whatever it was, it still weighed on Tetsurou heavily and Shouyou didn't know if asking about it was within the boundaries of their relationship. He didn't want to ruin it by prying into things Tetsurou didn't want to speak of, so he waited and hoped that one day soon Tetsurou would trust him enough to open up about it of his own volition.

Unintentionally, Shouyou's mind went back to that day when they watched his childhood pictures on the couch in his living room. He remembered Tetsurou's smooth type of confidence, which at first made Shouyou a little weak, a little hesitant in his reactions. It was slightly embarrassing how fast it disappeared the more Tetsurou's lips stayed on his skin, but Shouyou was not ashamed of the way Tetsurou made him feel. He was younger than Shouyou, by over ten years, and yet Shouyou felt safe in his arms. He tasted freedom in Tetsurou's kisses, saw endless opportunities in his eyes. It was unlike anything else Shouyou had experienced until now. And he didn't want to give it up.

Maybe he was influenced by his growing romantic feelings, maybe he was idealizing things. But at his age, with someone like Tetsurou, it was hard to remain detached. Especially when all of Tetsurou's reactions seemed genuine and open and inviting...

Tetsurou's flushed face appeared in Shouyou's mind: eyes closed, head thrown back, mouth parted in a gasp. He looked beautiful when Shouyou stroked his cock, bringing him to orgasm. The usually cheeky grin was gone, replaced by the slack jaw and wet lips that whispered hushed breaths into Shouyou's collarbone. Shouyou liked Tetsurou's teasing side, he liked his laughter and quick wits, but this, this vulnerable sort of softness was something he found both enchanting and worrying.

The crease between Tetsurou's brows that Shouyou had watched with growing awareness was not pleasure, he could tell. Even though Tetsurou had said it was okay, that he'd tell Shouyou to stop if he didn't want to continue, he'd never done it. He had just closed his eyes and let Shouyou stroke him to orgasm, while that crease deepened and darkened. Shouyou had watched it happen helplessly, his heart painfully clenched, because he knew that expression too well. It was a combination of fear, anger and reluctance, with a hint of despair. Shouyou remembered the time when his own face was contorted in that same way, but for a different reason.

When Tetsurou had recovered from his release, Shouyou had tucked him under his chin, holding him close for a long while. He still didn't know if it was to comfort the unknown pain in Tetsurou's heart, or to hush his own silently bleeding heart, but he knew that if Tetsurou ever wanted to open up about it, he'd do everything in his power to be there for him.  

"You're spacing off."

Shouyou blinked his memories away, surprised to find Kenma sitting next to him at the dining table. Everyone else was chatting away about something or other that Shouyou didn't really care about. The seat next to him belonged to Natsu, who was now gone (probably in the kitchen, helping their mom with the next course), and Shouyou didn't even notice when Kenma slid into it. Weirdly enough, he didn't have his phone with him.

"I'm thinking," Shouyou replied with a small smile. "About Tetsurou, actually."

A small quirk of lips was all the reaction he got from his cousin, which in Kenma's body language was as big as a face-splitting grin. Shouyou's smile widened.

"I heard that you two have been hitting it off," Kenma agreed. "He doesn't shut up about you. It's kind of annoying."

Shouyou chuckled softly. His heart warmed up at the words. The thought that Tetsurou was talking about him, probably a lot, somehow made Shouyou's mood a thousand times better.

"Well," he said with a grin. "You're the one who introduced us, you don't get to complain now."

Kenma heaved a small sigh.

"I'm starting to regret it now. I didn't expect you guys to like each other so much."

"Too bad," Shouyou shrugged, still grinning. "I do like him, you know? A lot. So thanks, I guess."

Kenma was silent for a moment and Shouyou suddenly wasn't sure it was the right thing to say. He wasn't supposed to like Tetsurou _that way_ , after all. This was only a relationship of convenience – companionship for money, that's it. Kenma's eyes were narrowed and focused on the side of Shouyou's face as if he tried to look through him, see into his very soul. Knowing him, Shouyou really wouldn't be surprised if he _could_ do that.

Finally, Kenma sat back in his chair, his fingers catching the edge of the tablecloth with vague interest.

"He likes you a lot, too," he said and Shouyou's heart flipped into an up-tempo samba.

"You mean–" Shouyou swallowed, his heartbeat throbbing in his throat. "How much?"

Kenma's unreadable eyes bore into his and Shouyou felt the beads of sweat roll down the collar of his dress shirt. Kenma was Tetsurou's best friend. But he was also Shouyou's cousin. It was doubly confusing as to who Kenma was supposed to support in their weird relationship and looking into his eyes now, Shouyou had a feeling that it was neither. Kenma had always been a freelancer and, if anything, he was probably gunning for his own gain. Except... there was no gain here for him, right?

"I don't know," Kenma said in a tone sounded like the complete opposite of his words. "How much do _you_ like _him_?"

It was a nerve-wracking conversation and briefly Shouyou wondered how did it even come to this. But this was Kenma, the guy that knew Tetsurou better than anyone. The guy that made them meet and the guy that indirectly started their whole relationship. And maybe... maybe he could tell Shouyou about the thing that's been bothering him for weeks, if Shouyou was honest with him in return.

Shouyou cleared his throat, looking away from the focused gaze of Kenma's eyes.

"I like him more than I should," he admitted, drumming his fingers on the table next to his now empty plate. "As his... you know..." Shouyou shifted, nervously looking around the table to see if anyone was listening in. They were all busy with their own conversations and his shoulders sagged in relief. "I know I shouldn't get attached to him, that it's probably just money to him and nothing else, but I just can't help it. He's something else, something... different."

Gathering all his courage, Shouyou chanced a glance at Kenma. He was surprised to see a warm glow in his yellow eyes and even more surprised at Kenma's next words.

"He likes you more than he should, too," Kenma said slowly. "I was a little concerned that he was getting himself into trouble like the last time, but since it's you, I'd hoped it'd turn out alright. I'm glad I wasn't wrong."

Warmth spilled over Shouyou's chest after the first sentence. Happiness hit him hard and all he wanted was to grin and call Tetsurou just to hear his voice and the smirk that was recognizable even through the phone, and maybe meet him and kiss his stupidly handsome face. That would be nice, too. Very nice.

Shouyou was so happy that he almost missed the rest of what Kenma said. Blinking out of his stupor, he frowned.

"The last time?" he asked. "What happened the last time?"

For a moment, Kenma's eyes widened as if he'd only now realized what it was that he said. It was always hard to read him, but right then, Shouyou could see the guilt flashing briefly on his face. He didn't know if it was guilt about spilling a secret, or about something else, but Shouyou had a feeling that this was exactly what he was trying to figure out all this time.

"Look," Kenma started, his voice even more hushed than usual. Shouyou had to lean forward to catch whatever he was saying. "I shouldn't be telling you this, I promised Kuro I wouldn't... but you, you should know. I think."

Curiosity fought in Shouyou's heart with loyalty. On one hand, he wanted to know. But on the other, if it was to strain Tetsurou and Kenma's friendship, if Tetsurou had explicitly asked Kenma not to share it with anyone... Shouyou wanted to take the high road, he wanted to say "Then if you promised, don't tell me," but the unsettling feeling in his gut had stopped the words short. He felt like he _had to know_. And if Kenma thought so too, it was all the more reason to trust his intuition.

"Tell me," Shouyou decided. "Please, Kenma. If it's something bad, I need to know."

Kenma looked him in the eye, gauging his intentions, and then nodded sharply. He stood up, motioned for Shouyou to follow and left the dining room. They walked out of the house, onto a small terrace that spread out onto the backyard. There were a few trees there, some still bare, some already sprouting tiny green leaves. The slightly chilly wind brushed against Shouyou's neck, making him shiver.

"The last time..." Kenma started, occupied with the squirrel jumping from branch to branch on one of the trees. "It was bad, Shouyou."

"How bad?" Shouyou asked quietly, coming to stand next to Kenma.

"Involving the police bad." Kenma glanced at him and Shouyou noticed the pain hidden deep inside his usually unreadable eyes. "The last guy that Kuro was seeing... he got Kuro drunk." The bad feeling Shouyou had all this time sunk in his stomach, curling his insides with disgust. "From what Kuro told me, they haven't slept together before and the man got fed up with waiting. So he drugged Kuro and..." Kenma stopped, and so did Shouyou's heart.

"Did he...?" his voice was barely a whisper, breathless and slightly shaken up. All of his worst thoughts came flashing to the forefront of his mind a bright and ugly, making him sick to his stomach with dread.

Kenma shook his head.

"I got to them in time," he explained, but his hands clenched tightly around the railing of the terrace. The white knuckles told Shouyou exactly how close a call it had been. "Kuro texted me that he was drugged and I got one of the security staff from the hotel they were at to come with me to check on them. I've never seen Kuro so shaken..."

They stood in silence, Kenma lost in memories, Shouyou trying to wrap his head around what he had just heard. It was exactly what he'd suspected, but he was glad that at least in a small part he was wrong. Tetsurou wasn't raped. Shouyou was wrong. And yet, nothing about this was _fine_.

"So that's what he was hiding..." Shouyou mumbled to himself. When Kenma looked at him curiously, he sighed. "I felt that something was wrong. A few days ago we had... um..." His cheeks coloured a little and he quickly turned away from Kenma's eyes. "It doesn't matter. It's just that I could see that there was something holding Tetsurou back from getting closer to me. Now I know what."

Kenma didn't comment on Shouyou's blush, his face still serious.

"Don't blame him for it," he asked in a quiet voice. "He never wanted to sell himself like that and with what happened the last time I'm surprised he still opened up to you. It means he feels safe with you." Kenma's yellow eyes bore into Shouyou, who suddenly felt very intimidated, even though he was over ten years older than his cousin. "Don't betray his trust, please."

Smiling softly, Shouyou shook his head.

"Never," he promised.

And he intended to keep that promise.

 

* * *

 

It was Friday afternoon and Tetsurou was sprawled on Shouyou's couch in front of the big screen of the TV. Shouyou was snuggling into his side and it would be adorable if he actually paid any attention to either Tetsurou or the movie they've been watching. But Shouyou was off in his head, mulling over something or other, and Tetsurou didn't know whether he should be amused or offended. He decided to let Shouyou do what he pleased though, and focused on the movie. The warmth of the body next to his was nice and he didn't need to ruin the moment with unnecessary prodding. If Shouyou wanted him to know, he would just tell him. It was as simple as that.

They spent the time like this, Tetsurou watching the movie, Shouyou thinking intensely about whatever it was that was troubling him, until the credits rolled out onto the screen. That seemed to have snapped Shouyou out of his thoughts, because he grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. Tetsurou could only see his profile, but what he saw there made him pause. There was determination in his brow, a faint glimmer of sadness in the amber eyes, and his lips were pursed sourly as if he was planning on saying something that didn't agree with him.

This wasn't the usual Shouyou that Tetsurou had come to know. And strangely enough, it bothered him quite a lot.

"Shouyou-san," Tetsurou called and the other's unfocused gaze made him even more alert. Something was wrong. This wasn't just thinking, not daydreaming. This was _wrong_. "What's going on?"

He sat up, ready to do damage control. Was it work? Shouyou had to call off their last two dates because of it and all the extra hours were clearly taking their toll on him. But it also didn't seem right. Shouyou always worked a lot and even if he was feeling pressured, he was like new after a nap. No, this was something else.

Was it money? Tetsurou knew that the whole sugar daddy business wasn't cheap, not at all. But Shouyou had never said anything about it, not when he way paying for dinner, not when he bought Tetsurou the suit, not when he got him the books, which he didn't have to do. He seemed not to care about money, as if he had lots of it just laying around but nothing to spend it on. Somehow Tetsurou knew that even if the money was the case, Shouyou wouldn't have let it bother him to this degree.

Was it something emotional, then? Feelings? His ex-wife? Or maybe...

"Did..." he asked slowly, looking Shouyou straight in the eye. "Did I do something wrong?"

It seemed like the only option that made enough sense. The last time they were together they were right on this very couch, kissing and doing other things that still made Tetsurou's heart quicken its beating. Was that the reason? Shouyou called off their last two dates. This was the first time they've been together since then. Was it because of something that happened then? Was it because of him, did he unknowingly do something to fuck this up?

Fear coloured Tetsurou's heart, chilling the blood that coursed through his veins.

"What?" Shouyou asked, a confused wrinkle marring his forehead. "What makes you say that? You did nothing wrong."

Tetsurou breathed in relief. "Why are you so distant then?"

He watched Shouyou's face for reactions and, as usual, even though he probably tried to hide them, Shouyou's eyes were an open book. Tetsurou could see the pain, guilt and compassion shimmering under the warm glow of amber, but he couldn't figure out what it meant. That was, until Shouyou spoke up, because then suddenly everything made sense.

"I'm sorry," Shouyou said, closing his eyes briefly. "I didn't mean to distance myself from you, I was just... thinking." Tetsurou could see his Adam's apple bobbing hard as he swallowed. "I talked to Kenma and he told me about your previous sugar daddy."

Dread crept into every fibre of Tetsurou's being, paralyzing.

Shouyou knew.

Bile rose up to Tetsurou's throat, the sour taste in his mouth muting any words that he might have wanted to say.

Shouyou knew.

Tetsurou felt bare and helpless, like that night he was drugged and tied to a hotel bed as that creep undressed him with no consideration for his dignity. He felt sick, just like he did then.

And Shouyou knew all about that.

Shouyou took one of his hands gently and Tetsurou noticed that the hand holding his was much warmer. His own shook slightly between Shouyou's fingers. He locked his gaze on their joined hands as if it could help him stay calm.

Shouyou knew. Kenma had told him. After Tetsurou had specifically asked to never mention it to anyone. Tetsurou's chest hurt right where his heart was and his throat tightened, fear and disgust crawling their way up.

 _Shouyou knew_.

He had been avoiding him because of this. Because of what happened, because of what _could have_ happened. It was exactly why Tetsurou was trying to keep it buried, so why did Kenma have to go and spill his worst secret? And worst of all, to the person Tetsurou liked, to the first person he felt like he could trust, the first person he genuinely wanted to open up to?

The fear in Tetsurou's veins suddenly burned into nothing, replaced by a deep roar of anger. What right did Kenma have to tell Shouyou about this? What right did Shouyou have to stick his nose into it? If Tetsurou wanted him to know, he would have told him about it himself. He would have explained, made sure that Shouyou understood that he was alright, that the past was in the past. Because he was sure Kenma didn't do that. 

"Tetsurou," Shouyou said his name softly, and Tetsurou jumped out of his thoughts with a flinch as if someone had just slapped him.

He snapped his head up, gaze burning and boring into Shouyou's eyes. He ripped his hand out of Shouyou's lose hold.

"He had no right," Tetsurou said harshly. Anger bubbled right underneath his skin and he felt like he had to punch something. "And you," he glared at Shouyou. "You had no right to pry into my life, either."

He stood up, the negative energy in his body urging him to move. He didn't know what he wanted to do, maybe pace around, maybe leave, maybe punch a wall, but whatever it was, Shouyou's hand around his forearm stopped him. Tetsurou turned to him with an angry frown.

"Look," Shouyou said, his face clearly distraught. "I just wanted to understand, it's not Kenma's fault. Please, don't blame him for telling me. I asked him to do it."

Tetsurou pulled his arm out of Shouyou's grasp, but allowed Shouyou to continue. His anger didn't disappear, it only seemed to get stronger, but it was quiet now as if allowing Shouyou to bury himself deeper. Just beneath his skin, Tetsurou felt the rage sizzle, just waiting to burst out into flames.

"That time we were together, I felt that something was wrong," Shouyou was saying, his eyes saddened and a little frantic. "That you were forcing yourself. I had my suspicions and god, Tetsurou, I hoped I was wrong."

Shouyou's face contorted in pain and Tetsurou's heart matched it perfectly. It throbbed in his chest, pound after pound, as if just listening to Shouyou was going to break it. But his anger steeled it, holding him together.

"There are boundaries that you don't cross," Tetsurou said, his voice shaking with anger and betrayal. "You can't pry into my life like you please! This is just wrong, Shouyou-san!"

Shouyou looked like he was slapped in the face, but suddenly his eyes gleamed with more determination.

"I know it was wrong of me," he admitted. "But I'm glad I asked Kenma about it. Because now I know everything and I can help you get through it."

He reached out a hand towards Tetsurou, who took a step back as if Shouyou was the one on fire. It hurt. To hear that Shouyou wasn't even sorry about what he did. He went behind Tetsurou's back, asked Kenma about the thing Tetsurou was most protective of, and now he didn't even have the decency to apologize for it.

The tightness in Tetsurou's throat returned. He couldn't stay there any longer. He couldn't look at Shouyou. Not at the hope in the amber eyes, not at the hand that was still outstretched towards him, not at the man who stole his heart and now broke it into pieces.

"You betrayed my trust," Tetsurou said slowly, the anger and hurt mixing together in his voice. His eyes stung, but he forced himself through it, fuelled by his anger. "You betrayed _me_."

Amber eyes widened, but Tetsurou didn't care anymore. This was over, they were over. He couldn't trust Shouyou after something like this. Because if he went behind his back once, what was stopping him from doing it again?

"We're done," was the last thing he said to Shouyou.

He then turned away and left, without looking back to see the broken expression on Shouyou's face.

 

* * *

 

A week had passed. Tetsurou was ignoring all calls from Shouyou and all texts from Kenma. They deserved it. He didn't want to talk to either of them. The betrayal still stung and even though Tetsurou was sure he'd be able to forgive Kenma one day, the wound on his heart was too fresh for it yet.

Shouyou, however, was a different matter. They knew each other for a whole of three months. Their relationship held promise. Until Shouyou ruined it all by sticking his nose in the one secret Tetsurou wanted to keep from him. Maybe in time he would have opened up about it, maybe he would gather the courage and tell Shouyou about what had happened to him. But it was all ruined now. Shouyou had pried into it on his own when Tetsurou wasn't ready. And he _hated_ it.

He hated Shouyou for asking about it, he hated Kenma for telling him, but he also hated himself. For falling for Shouyou, for how much he allowed it to hurt him when it shouldn't even phase him, for how betrayed he felt and how vulnerable it made him seem.

Tetsurou had spent the first day after the fight with Shouyou locked up in his room, curled under the blankets. He skipped classes, called in sick at work. And he just stayed there: in the dark, between the messy blankets and in the shirt that carried a faint smell of Shouyou's cologne, which made Tetsurou's throat clog. There were many times when his eyes watered over with tears of helpless anger and betrayal, but he didn't let himself cry. He was stronger than that. He didn't cry when he was almost raped, and he wouldn't cry now. He was _strong_.

But his body shook under the blankets and when Bokuto came to check on him and Tetsurou heard his own voice, he knew he wasn't as strong as he wanted to believe. He told his roommate that he was seeing someone and that they broke up. He didn't tell him any details, not about the sugar daddy deal, not about his previous daddy, not about anything really. Bokuto didn't press. He just sat next to him, Tetsurou's cold feet pressed to Bokuto's thigh as it offered wordless support. And honestly, it was enough.

The next day Tetsurou made himself dress, went to class, went to work. He was still in a slight daze and easily distracted, but when he focused, it was easy to forget about what had happened. So he threw himself into work, ignoring the pings of his phone and the characteristic ringtone he had set for Shouyou. It was hard not to read the messages, though.

" _I'm sorry._ "

" _I know I hurt you, I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen._ "

" _Tetsurou, please, let's talk._ "

" _I should have talked to you about it first, I know. I'm sorry. Just let me explain, please?"_

" _I was so scared of fucking this up that I did just that, funny, isn't it?_ "

" _I understand that you don't want to talk to me, or see me again. But, please, don't shut Kenma out. He only wanted to help."_

Every apology Shouyou had sent melted a little of the anger inside Tetsurou's heart. But it only hurt more, because without the anger all that was left inside him was betrayal and broken feelings. He wanted to stop reading, and yet every time he got a message, he couldn't help it. They all remained unanswered, it served Shouyou right to stew in the guilt, but they did what they were supposed to do – they softened Tetsurou's heart.

Tetsurou knew he couldn't trust Shouyou again. He _shouldn't_. And _he won't_. He promised himself, he won't trust him again. They won't be getting back together. His stupid heart be damned, Tetsurou won't be in love with someone who pried into his life like that. Even if it was for the good reasons, even if Shouyou was sorry about doing it, even if he promised not to do it again. Tetsurou couldn't believe him, could he?

It was easier to be said than done, though. Especially when Shouyou called, or when he recorded voice messages that stopped being full of apologies sometime after the first four days and turned into pleas: talk to Kenma, be angry at me but he's your friend, don't let my mistake ruin what you two have. It was almost as if Shouyou had stopped caring about them, but Tetsurou knew for a fact that he didn't. The calls and texts were proof enough.

But a week had come and passed and the calls had stopped. The texts had stopped. It was quiet. And suddenly Tetsurou realized he missed them. But missing Shouyou wasn't the same as being able to forgive him. So instead of wallowing in self pity, instead of nursing his heart carefully, Tetsurou worked his ass off. He took more shifts at work, got the assigned readings done in advance, put his hands everywhere they were needed now or in the future, just to have something to do. Just to take his mind off Shouyou. Just to _move on_.

Another week had passed like this and Tetsurou almost forgot about the persistent calls and messages. He was too tired after a whole day of balancing work and university to think about anything, his body just slumping into slumber as soon as his head touched the pillow. This was good. It worked. It made him whole again. And it made him too tired to dream about Shouyou.

One day, two weeks after they had last seen each other, Tetsurou got home from work. Rain pitter-pattered on the windowsill of his room when he face-planted into his pillow, eyes closed and a sigh slipping out of his mouth. A lone thunder rolled somewhere above in the clouds, but Tetsurou tuned it out easily. His body was already relaxing, ready for sleep, when soft rasping on the front door made him groan. He could ignore it, but if it was Bokuto who forgot his keys again, Tetsurou knew he'd get no sleep until he opened the damn door.

He stumbled out of bed, yawning on his way to the hall. In afterthought, he should have probably checked who was on the other side. He shouldn't have yanked the door open with a scowl. He shouldn't have stood there like frozen, only in his underwear and an old Nekoma High School Volleyball Club t-shirt, staring.

"Hi," Shouyou said, smiling in a way that made Tetsurou's heart break into tiny pieces as if it hadn't already been abused enough.

His jacket and jeans were wet, his hair was sticking to his face and beads of rain rolled down the sides of his neck. Tetsurou hadn't seen him in two weeks, but it seemed like a lot has changed since then.

Shouyou seemed smaller, thinner. His cheeks were a little hollowed and Tetsurou could see the bones that he could usually only feel under his fingers. Amber eyes were a dull brown and emotionless, something that Tetsurou had never witnessed before. There were dark half-moons under them, adding up to Shouyou's age. He didn't look thirty-five anymore, he looked old and tired, and Tetsurou's chest tightened a little in guilt.  

Before he knew it, he was already opening his mouth.

"Hi."

And the world burned into ashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so who wants to kill me now ;3c


	8. We are more than our scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for such a long absence but I'm planning to make it up to you by giving you a chapter now and one more tomorrow so I hope you'll forgive me ;3c prepare for your hearts to be torn into pieces again~

They stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking at each other as if they were complete strangers that had nothing in common. Tetsurou would have asked Shouyou inside, just so they could talk, but after everything they've been through he wasn't sure being in the same room was a good idea, so he stayed silent. He would wait for Shouyou to start, he'd wait to see what he wanted, and then he'd go back to his life, because this – _them_ – it was over.

Shouyou didn't speak for a long while. He just looked at Tetsurou, eyes soft and tired, but his gaze held so much longing and guilt that Tetsurou shifted uncomfortably under it. A string in his heart was tugged at, but he refused to let it shake him.

"I'm sorry," Shouyou finally started, his voice a little raspy. "I didn't mean to drop by like this, I know you're busy."

He seemed to have wanted to say more, but the words didn't want to come out. The water from the sleeves of Shouyou's jacket dropped onto the doormat before Tetsurou's door. Shouyou was soaked from head to toe and for just a second Tetsurou let himself wonder how long did he hesitate before entering the building.

"It's fine," Tetsurou replied, even though it wasn't fine at all, but he couldn't bring himself to turn Shouyou away. Not when he looked so miserable. "What do you want?"

Shouyou opened his mouth and closed it a second later. He ran a hand through his messy, wet hair, sighing.

"I don't know," he said, looking up at Tetsurou with eyes drowned in silent despair. "I guess I want to apologize properly, because it's the only thing I _can_ do?" He took a deep breath. "I know I crossed the line."

Tetsurou wanted to say something to that, but Shouyou cut him off with a caricature of his usual smile.

"No, please, let me finish," he asked, and only when Tetsurou nodded, he continued: "I hurt you by asking Kenma about this, I know it now, but I just... I didn't want to bring up any painful memories. I had a feeling that you'd never tell me the truth, and frankly, I'm not surprised because we don't really know each other that well."

Shouyou talked faster and faster, his voice gaining that frantic quality as if he was afraid that if he didn't say everything fast enough, his mouth would seal shut and he'd never be able to finish.

"But I had to know. I didn't want to force you into anything that could make you uncomfortable and after that one time I could see that something was wrong, but you insisted it was fine and I wanted to believe you, but there still was that unsettling feeling in my gut, you know?" He looked Tetsurou in the eye hopelessly, and Tetsurou felt his heart stir in his chest. "I just wanted to understand. And to help you. But I guess I'm just making excuses, aren't I?"

Shouyou smiled, that same broken smile, and Tetsurou's heart clenched. He couldn't watch this smile on Shouyou's face. He might have been in his right to get angry, to never forgive Shouyou for what he'd done, but that smile... it had no place on Shouyou's face. It hurt to watch it and be unable to do anything to disperse the sadness that pulled at the corners of Shouyou's mouth. Tetsurou had to look away from it before he did something he'd regret.

He locked his gaze on the doorframe. He eyed the dust covering the inside of it, followed the pattern of scratches on the worn-out wood. Anything was better than looking at Shouyou's fragile smile.

"I can promise you that I will never tell anyone about what I heard from Kenma," Shouyou continued talking, slower now as if he got the worst of it off his chest. "Your secret is safe with me, for what it's worth."

Tetsurou didn't know what to say to that. Was there anything he could say? His hand that was still holding onto the doorframe tightened. Shouyou must have taken his silence as a sign to leave, because he nodded to himself with another small smile.

"I guess that's all I wanted to say," he said. "I'm sorry for everything. Goodbye." He turned to leave, but froze and looked over his wet shoulder one final time. "Talk to Kenma, please. He's been miserable without you and it hurts to see him like that."

And then he was gone, leaving Tetsurou's floor and using the stairs instead of the lift. Tetsurou watched him go, unable to move from his spot. His head was spinning. Everything that Shouyou had said made sense, it made a lot of sense.

Shouyou hurt him. Oh, yes, he was definitely right about that. It still hurt like hell, but the raw sting of betrayal had faded, leaving only tender bruises on Tetsurou's heart. Shouyou was right when he said that Tetsurou wouldn't tell him about his previous daddy. He was right when he said Tetsurou would lie that he was fine, even though he wanted the lie to be true. And after he'd allowed Shouyou to touch him intimately, he was safe in the knowledge that the lie would become true with time – with Shouyou, he'd truly be fine. But now it didn't matter anymore... or did it?

Cold air from the open window a few doors down blew over Tetsurou's bare calves, making him shiver where he still stood in the doorway.

Shouyou only wanted to understand him, to help him. Despite that, Tetsurou was ready to lie to his face. He _did_ lie to him. After preaching all about honesty and trust, _he_ was the one who didn't trust Shouyou in the first place. And as if that wasn't enough, after Shouyou had learned his secret, Tetsurou got defensive. It was undoubtedly a direct consequence of the betrayal from his previous relationship, but that was no excuse to project his issues onto Shouyou. He had jumped to conclusions, blew up, and didn't even listen to any explanations.

Until now.

Why didn't they talk about it? Why didn't they _talk_ like adults?

With his heart jumping into his throat, Tetsurou rushed back into his room, pulled on the first pair of pants he got his hands on and ran out of the house without as much as tying his shoes.

It was his fault. He behaved like a brat and ignored Shouyou for weeks instead of _just talking to him_. He was sulking on his own, stewing in his broken feelings without even considering how Shouyou might have been feeling. God, he was so bloody immature.

Tetsurou winced when cold wind pulled on his shirt as soon as he pushed open the front door of the building. The rain soaked him to the bone seconds after he had stepped outside, but it didn't really matter. He looked around, trying to spot Shouyou's car on the parking lot, but it wasn't there. Was he too late? Another howl of wind made him shiver. But it also made him turn to the side to protect himself as best as he could, and that's when he caught it – the unforgettable orange shade of hair.

Shouyou had disappeared just behind the corner. It wasn't too late.

Tetsurou's legs moved before he could even think to move them and he was running. The wind slashed at his face, but he didn't care. He took the corner, slipping into the puddle that had formed there. His shoes immediately soaked the water and he could feel it squish as he caught up with the other.

"Shouyou-san!" he shouted through the rain when he was within hearing distance.

The man's head snapped up and he turned around, shock clearly written all over his face. He watched Tetsurou come closer, clearly too surprised to speak.

"What–" Shouyou started, but Tetsurou interrupted whatever it was.

"I'm sorry," he said, breathing heavily from his run. "I behaved like a brat and we could have just talked about it. I feel really shitty for sulking for so long, so... I'm sorry."

"Sulking," Shouyou repeated after him. His eyes were wide as if he couldn't believe that Tetsurou was standing right before him.

"Yeah," Tetsurou swallowed. This was the difficult part, being honest with his own feelings. "I projected the issues from my last relationship onto this one and I didn't trust you, at least not enough. And then I just blew up at you and didn't even let you explain, which was absolutely immature of me. I don't want to be the guy who fucks up a relationship because he can't get over the past, so..." He shrugged helplessly, not sure what to do with himself.

Shouyou stared at him in silence. The rain fell heavily on them, the droplets running down every inch of skin that was not covered by the clothing.

"Why are you even apologizing?" Shouyou's incredulous voice was barely audible over the whoosh of the rain and the splashes made by the cars rolling by. "I'm the one who fucked up and you're apologizing?"

Shouyou laughed, but his laughter was far from amused. It was a little hysterical, a little broken, a little shocked. And it made Tetsurou's chest clench until he could barely breathe.

"Tetsurou, what is this?"

"I–" Tetsurou started, but his mind was blank. What was this? _What were they_? "I–"

He had no idea what to say. The cold from the rain and the wind tugging at his clothes chilled him to the bone and it seemed to have seeped into his head as well, because he could find no words to follow up. Shouyou was looking at him, soaked wet, with hair sticking to his face, rain dropping down his nose, dull brown eyes. Tetsurou's heart panged, and suddenly he knew.

He took a step closer and with his cold hands, cold fingers, he pulled Shouyou's face up. Shouyou's cheeks were just as cold and that somehow made Tetsurou even more sure in what he wanted to do. He leaned down, pressing their lips together. He could feel the shiver that wrecked through Shouyou's body and his own fingers trembled on the man's jaw. The rain lashed down upon them and the wind whistled around them, but in that single moment none of that mattered – it was just the brush of cold lips against his, the touch of meltingly hot tongue, the uneven breaths mingling into one.

Tetsurou kept his hands on Shouyou's cheeks even when they parted, gazing into the man's eyes. They were still dull brown, still troubled, but soft embers of hope were waking deep inside them, which made Tetsurou's heart light up with the same fragile hope.

"I will trust you," Tetsurou said. "This time... I will trust you, so don't ever go behind my back again. Promise me?"

Shouyou's lips stretched in a smile that didn't reach his eyes, but it wasn't the same broken smile Tetsurou remembered. There was guilt in it and heaviness that they both knew would take time to disappear completely, but it was already lighter. Shouyou nodded softly.

"I promise," he said. "But you have to be honest with me, too. No more lies."

"Yeah," Tetsurou agree. "I promise."

He was leaning in for one more kiss, as if the weeks they had spent apart made him go through withdrawal and now that he had the drug within his reach, he couldn't help it. They were only inches apart when Shouyou pushed Tetsurou on the chest, breaking his hold and turning to the side quickly. Tiny kitten sneezes shook his body once, twice, thrice. Warmth spilled over Tetsurou's heart, like the thunder that rumbled through the sky above them.

"Come on," Tetsurou said, taking Shouyou's hand and tugging him back towards his apartment building. "Let's go back to my place. You'll get sick if you stay in the rain any longer."

Shouyou was already opening his mouth to argue, but another sneeze interrupted him. Covering his mouth and nose with his other hand before the next one, Shouyou locked their fingers together and when Tetsurou took a step so did he.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou was in such a rush before that he forgot he had left the door to his flat unlocked and when they returned, he spent a good few seconds panicking that he lost his keys, just to realize that he didn't take them with him in the first place. Shouyou snickered at that, or it might have only been another sneeze, it was hard to tell. But once they were inside and the door had closed behind them, Tetsurou realized that they were both soaked, which meant the following: 1) they had to take off their clothes; 2) he'd have to lend Shouyou some of his until the dryer finished doing its job; 3) a shower would be nice.

He swallowed, asking Shouyou to wait in the hallway while he disappeared in his room in search for something to wear. He came back, handed Shouyou the clothes and pointed to the bathroom.

"Go take a shower and drop your clothes in the laundry basket," he ordered.

Shouyou smiled at him lightly. "Yes, mom."

But Tetsurou didn't take the bait, suddenly nervous for no reason. _You sucked his dick, for fuck's sake_ , he chided himself, throwing off his wet clothes after Shouyou disappeared in the bathroom. _Get a grip, Tetsurou_.

He did not get a grip, and when Shouyou returned, his skin slightly flushed from the warm water, wearing only Tetsurou's "real men love dogs" shirt, which reached down to his mid-thigh – _very bare mid-thigh_ – Tetsurou had to swallow hard. After Shouyou's lacklustre explanation of "I don't need the pants, they'd be too long either way," Tetsurou squeaked about his turn and locked himself in the bathroom, giving in to the slight panic that suddenly overtook his senses. The shower calmed him down, thankfully, and when he returned to the small living room, he believed he was prepared to face Shouyou.

Again, he was not.

Shouyou was making tea in the kitchen, which was actually a really good idea. Though, the way his shirt rode up every time he reached up for something made Tetsurou quickly reconsider. Not that it was an unpleasant sight, but really, after everything they've just been through, it seemed a little... too much.

"Go sit on the couch," Tetsurou told Shouyou, plucking the sugar bowl from the man's hands. "You're a guest, behave like one."

Shouyou rolled his eyes at him, but he did so with a smile and obediently left the kitchen. After the tea was done, they drank it in silence, the air between them a little heavy, a little awkward. What did people even talk about after an argument like theirs? Tetsurou turned the mug clockwise in his hands.

"So how have you been?" Shouyou spoke up, and Tetsurou snapped his head up to look at him.

Shouyou's smile was a tiny bit strained, but it was genuine. He was making an effort to make this work, to slowly get them back to where they were before and Tetsurou smiled as well.

"I got a lot done, actually," he replied, a hint of pride in his voice. "I'm way ahead with assigned reading and I've done all of my assignments, and I even picked more shifts at the bar which means a bigger paycheck."

"That's great," Shouyou said, drinking some of his tea. "Just remember not to overwork yourself, okay?"

The warmth tingling underneath Tetsurou's skin had nothing to do with the tea.

"Yeah, I will," he promised and from tomorrow he intended to keep it. "What have you been up to?"

"Working," Shouyou shrugged lightly. "Annoying Yamaguchi with my whining."

Tetsurou chuckled. Shouyou's grin widened, some joy returning to the small crinkles around his mouth.

"Poor Yamaguchi-san," Tetsurou commented, catching a glimpse of Shouyou's eyes, which were lighting up slowly. "I think I'd have to go and apologize to him personally for putting him through all of that."

Shouyou snorted. "It's fine, he had it worse."

Their conversation halted. They were no strangers to silence, but this one was still awkward, since neither of them knew how to handle this.

Tetsurou's eyes locked on his knees, where he held his mug. Warmth was slowly disappearing from it, but he clung to the last of it, pressing the bottom to his skin. Shouyou was doing the same, but when Tetsurou glanced over, his eyes caught something else. Something that made him pause. He wondered if it'd be crossing the line if he asked, God only knew that it was the last thing he wanted to do after they had just made up, but he also promised Shouyou to be honest.

Tetsurou licked his lips and lifted his eyes from Shouyou's knee.

"Hey, Shouyou-san, can I ask you a private question?" he tried, hoping that it'd turn out alright.

"Sure," Shouyou replied, a small frown pulling his brows closer together.

"What happened to your knee?" Tetsurou asked, his voice gentle and hushed, as if he was afraid that if he spoke louder something bad would happen. "Is that the reason you don't play volleyball professionally?"

For a brief moment Shouyou looked at him, startled, and Tetsurou started panicking that it was not a good time to ask, after all. But then Shouyou's expression smoothed over, his hand reaching towards his knee to rub his thumb on the ugly scar that marred his skin there. The way Shouyou's eyes gazed down, veiled softly in pain and sadness, made Tetsurou immediately regret that the words had even left his mouth.

"You're quite perceptive," Shouyou said, shooting Tetsurou a small smile.

"I'm sorry," Tetsurou rushed to reply. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine. I shouldn't have–"

"No, no, it's okay," Shouyou shook his head, interrupting Tetsurou. "It's not like I was trying to hide it from you. I just... I don't really like talking about it."

They were both quiet for a while, Shouyou's fingers stroking the edges of his scar in thought. Tetsurou waited, not wanting to rush the other. It was bad enough that he had brought back painful memories with his question. Suddenly, he realized that this was exactly what Shouyou had been trying to avoid by asking Kenma about Tetsurou's previous relationship. This moment was exactly what he wanted to spare Tetsurou from. Tetsurou's heart melted a little in his chest.

"I played pro for three years," Shouyou finally said, surprising Tetsurou out of his thoughts. "On Kageyama's team, actually. We were unstoppable." He smiled, but instead of pride, there was only sadness at the lost opportunity. "And then I was involved in a car accident."

Shouyou's voice was light, as if it didn't bother him anymore, but his eyes were dark with memories. Tetsurou wanted to comfort him some way, but he didn't know how. Was there anything he could say to make it better? Not really, no.

"I went through a period of depression, got divorced and struggled with coming to terms with my sexuality," Shouyou finished his story, going for a laugh. "Fun times."

But Tetsurou didn't feel like laughing. His throat was tight, lips pursed and heart silently bleeding for the man sitting next to him. There were no words that could make this better, so instead, Tetsurou set his mug on the floor and fully turned to Shouyou, pulling him into a hug. Shouyou's body was stiff for a moment, but he soon relaxed, putting his forehead on Tetsurou's shoulder. And suddenly, Tetsurou knew what the right thing to say was.

He kissed the side of Shouyou's head, softly whispering in his ear.

"You're still incredible, Shouyou-san, even if you're not playing professionally anymore. You still love volleyball, right? And you haven't given up, you teach kids whenever you're free. That's amazing. _You're_ amazing."

Shouyou snorted softly into Tetsurou's collarbone, but he didn't move away.

"I'm not."

"You are," Tetsurou insisted. "To me, you _are_ amazing."

One of Shouyou's arms circled Tetsurou's waist and a small hand clutched at the fabric of the t-shit on his back.

"Okay," came a quiet voice from around his chest and Tetsurou tightened his arms around Shouyou's small frame as the feeling of 'okay' settled in his heart.

Because that's what they would be. Okay.

 

* * *

 

"Are you sure you want this?" Shouyou asked, looking down at Tetsurou.

They had moved from the living room to Tetsurou's room, which was small but cosy. Soft kisses they had traded on the couch shifted into something more pressing once they settled on the narrow bed and soon Tetsurou was lying on his back with Shouyou hovering right above him. He was kneeling between Tetsurou's knees, the warmth of Tetsurou's thighs seeping into his skin where they touched. Neither of them expected it, but Shouyou couldn't complain. Only...

"Remember, you promised not to lie to me again," Shouyou pointed out. "Do you really want to do this?"

He watched Tetsurou swallow. One of Tetsurou's arms was holding Shouyou firm around the waist, keeping him close. His other hand was resting on Shouyou's nape, right where hair met skin, and Tetsurou's thumb rubbed distracting circles into the side of his neck.

"I want it," Tetsurou answered, lifting his eyes to look Shouyou straight in the eye. "I didn't want it with _him_." A shudder ran through Tetsurou's body, but he continued talking. "But with you... I want this."

There was no hesitation in Tetsurou's golden eyes, but the shadows of fear clung to his eyelashes, still. Shouyou could tell he was playing brave again, yet he didn't comment on it. Tetsurou had told him that he'd try to trust him from now on and the least Shouyou could do was to trust him in return. To take his word when he said he wanted it.

"Tell me if you want to stop," Shouyou warned and Tetsurou's lips quirked slightly as he nodded.

It was basically the same thing he had said to Tetsurou before, but this time it was different. This time they had talked about it, this time he would trust Tetsurou to know his limits. With that in mind, Shouyou leaned down, pressing their lips together again.

After spending weeks apart, he was finally realizing how much he had actually missed Tetsurou. He missed talking to him, he missed the texts and the phone calls, he missed their dates. He missed having someone in his life that cared... even if he was paid for it. He couldn't focus on work properly, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. It was almost like that time when he thought he had lost volleyball forever, except this time Shouyou knew he had no one else to blame for it but himself, and he stewed in guilt for days. He hoped that maybe Tetsurou would let him explain in a few days, maybe he'll calm down enough to listen to reason, but when weeks passed and it didn't happen, Shouyou knew he had no choice. So he gathered all his courage and came to see him on his own.

And now they were here.

Tetsurou's lips were bitten raw on the inside and guilt panged against Shouyou's ribcage painfully. If he sucked on them too hard, he could feel the metallic taste of blood fill his mouth. Shouyou kissed Tetsurou lightly instead, but that seemed to be more than enough. Tetsurou was pliant under him, hard yet soft, letting Shouyou take the reins. Shouyou could feel Tetsurou's tiny trembles on his own lips when he moved from his lips and onto Tetsurou's neck. Anger bubbled in his veins, directed at the bastard that hurt a kid so young, so innocent. He left a tender kiss right below Tetsurou's ear, the sigh that escaped Tetsurou's mouth sending a pleasant tingle down his spine.

Sudden realization stilled Shouyou's movements.

They were going to do this. They were going to have sex.

He wanted it, of course he did. But he knew that once they cross this line, it'd be much more difficult to come back from it. He swallowed, pulling back for just a moment. He breathed against Tetsurou's skin, smelling the soap and the last remnants of the rain on him. He remembered that he made Tetsurou a promise, he remembered how badly he wanted to help him, and this – this was how.

Gently, Shouyou rested his hand on Tetsurou's hip. His fingers slipped under the hem of the shirt, gliding over the warm skin. They kissed again and Shouyou found himself slowly losing to his senses. There was something vulnerable in the way Tetsurou was holding onto him, something fearful in the way their lips meshed together, something fragile in the way Tetsurou shivered under Shouyou's touch. And with all his heart, Shouyou wanted to protect it, protect Tetsurou.

His hand ran up Tetsurou's muscled stomach, caressed his sides, eliciting another sigh from him. Putting a little distance between them, Shouyou looked down into Tetsurou's eyes. They were half-closed, but he wasn't sure if it was from pleasure or something else. They glowed a little in the overhead lights, like pools of molten gold, and Shouyou could feel his own heart sinking into it.

He caught the hem of Tetsurou's shirt between his fingers, tugging it up.

"Let's get this off," he said in a soft voice.

Tetsurou needn't be told twice. He sat up and in one fluid motion pulled off his shirt. His hair got even messier than before and Shouyou smiled fondly, running his hands through it. He brought their lips together again. Tetsurou's hands settled on his hips, large and warm. If it was any other time, Shouyou would probably beg for Tetsurou to take him, but this day was all about the man before him. _Next time_ , Shouyou thought, running his hands down Tetsurou's arms.

His fingers brushed the skin lightly, electrifying with how close they were to the skin, but elusive enough to drive mad with need. Shouyou tilted his head to the side, kissing Tetsurou's temple, his cheek, jaw. Slowly pushing him back onto the bed, Shouyou ran his mouth down the column of Tetsurou's throat, letting his tongue draw circles around Tetsurou's Adam's apple. Sliding down Tetsurou's body, he left a trail of kisses on his collarbones, peppered them over his chest, feeling the quickened breaths on his lips.

Shouyou lapped his tongue at one of Tetsurou's nipples. Tetsurou shivered under him, his body stiffening slightly and a soft gasp shooting through the silent air like a gunshot. Shouyou sucked on it, letting his hands wander lower and pressing one of them to Tetsurou's abdomen. He rubbed circles into the hardened with muscles flesh, as he moved to the other nipple. Tetsurou's chest heaved, his breaths coming faster, and Shouyou could feel it as he shifted lower.

He kissed the trail of peach-soft hair down to Tetsurou's navel, and nicked his teeth over the sensitive skin there. A muffled groan made him glance up. Tetsurou was looking down at him, eyes bright and golden, and for a moment Shouyou's breath got stuck in his throat.

Tetsurou looked beautiful. His eyes were alight, his cheeks a little flushed, his lips red and claimed. Before Shouyou knew it, he was moving back up and kissing him with much more fervour than previously. He wanted to take this slow, wanted to make sure Tetsurou had the time to say no if he wanted to. But the flames of arousal were waking up inside him, pushing him over the edge of safe and slow, right into the sea of passion. Maybe Shouyou could have tamed the waves of pleasure, maybe he could control his own desire, yet he wasn't given any opportunity to try.

Tetsurou's hands pulled at his shirt, fingers brushing over Shouyou's thighs and sending sparks of warmth down his spine. And then Shouyou was gone. He shrugged off the too big shit, throwing it away carelessly, before he dived down to steal another kiss from Tetsurou's parted mouth. Their tongues rubbed together, Shouyou's heart thrumming in his ears. Tetsurou's thighs tightened around him and Shouyou put his hands on them. He moved them up and down, the warm static heating up the skin. Tetsurou's hands on Shouyou's back were hot, pressing into his shoulder blades in a way that made Shouyou want to melt into Tetsurou's chest.

He broke the kiss just as he moved his hands from Tetsurou's thighs and hooked his fingers under the waistband of Tetsurou's underwear. Gazing into golden eyes, Shouyou hesitated. Tetsurou must have noticed it, because he smiled up at him.

"I want this," Tetsurou said, his voice a little husky. "Don't hold back on me, Shouyou-san."

Shouyou's lips curled fondly. "I don't think I can ever say no to you."

"Well, I definitely don't mind that." Tetsurou's smile quirked into a soft smirk, which Shouyou immediately kissed away.

He pulled down Tetsurou's underwear and when he settled back between Tetsurou's knees, he couldn't help but admire. Tetsurou's body was stunning. His skin was supple with the freshness that came with his age. His muscles were hard and well trained, probably from all the volleyball practice he'd done in high school. The soft bronze hue of his skin looked like the sun itself couldn't help but worship his body, and Shouyou could hardly say he was surprised because he wanted to do the same.

"You know," Shouyou breathed, raising his eyes to Tetsurou's face. "I don't think I ever told you, but you're beautiful."

It only took a moment, but Tetsurou's face bloomed into a full flush, his cheeks reddening right before Shouyou's eyes. A strangled sound left Tetsurou's mouth as he covered his face with his hands to hide his embarrassment. Shouyou chuckled at that. He leaned down and kissed Tetsurou's hands before pulling them away and kissing the man himself. Tetsurou's arms wound around his neck, pulling him further down, and Shouyou went willingly.

Shouyou pressed himself closer to Tetsurou's warm body, letting his crotch rub against Tetsurou's bare cock. A shivery breath fanned his mouth when Tetsurou gasped at the pressure. Moving his hips slowly, Shouyou watched how Tetsurou's eyes darkened with lust. He could feel his own cock harden, but it was too early to give into pleasure. Tetsurou was the priority.

"Hey, do you have–" he started, but Tetsurou cut him off.

"Bottom drawer."

Shouyou smirked to himself at the heat building up in Tetsurou's voice. He pressed a fleeting kiss to Tetsurou's jaw and leaned over the edge of the bed to reach for the things he needed. In the meantime, he could feel Tetsurou's lips slide down his collarbone, the hot tongue wetting his skin, the teeth sinking into the flesh of his shoulder. When he came back up, Tetsurou latched to the side of his neck, sucking on it eagerly. It made Shouyou groan, the delightful shivers running down his back.

Shouyou uncapped the bottle of lube and squeezed some on his hand, rubbing it between his fingers, and then he reached down. His fingers curled around the length of Tetsurou's shaft. Shouyou felt the tremble of Tetsurou's thighs on his own skin and the thrill it sent through his body was enough to make him lightheaded. He moved his hand, running it up and down Tetsurou's dick. Tetsurou's hands clenched on Shouyou's arms almost as if he was a drowning man and Shouyou the rope that could save his life.

It reminded Shouyou much of that first time when he gave Tetsurou a hand and his heart softened in his chest. He leaned up, never stopping the slow movements of his wrist, and touched Tetsurou's nose with his in a tender caress. Golden eyes were scrunched shut, but opened at Shouyou's nudging.

"You okay?" Shouyou asked in a whisper.

His thumb rubbed over the slit on the head of Tetsurou's dick and Shouyou watched how Tetsurou arched, gasping. Tetsurou's lips trembled when he spoke next.

"More than okay..."

He pulled Shouyou into a heated kiss, his tongue easily slipping into his mouth. Small noises of pleasure escaped his throat when Shouyou continued stroking him, and Shouyou's heart swell. This was good, this was exactly what Tetsurou needed. To be cared for, to be cherished, to be adored and trusted.

Lying his hand flat against Tetsurou's dick, Shouyou slipped it lower, over the balls and down to the tight ring of muscles. Tetsurou's sigh against his lips was both hot and chilled and Shouyou had to swallow hard. He circled one finger around Tetsurou's entrance, feeling the muscles contract under his touch. Before he put his finger in though, Shouyou backed his hand away to squeeze more lube onto his hand. Tetsurou gave a small groan in protest, but Shouyou only hushed him with a quick kiss.

And then he put his hand back, rubbing lube into Tetsurou's hole. When he pushed one of his fingers in, it was only a soft prod, just enough to have the muscles clench around the tip of his finger. He withdrew fast and repeated the same motion a few times, until he was sure he could push more of his finger inside. Tetsurou was tight and Shouyou took extra care to go slow. He worked in one finger, his mind sinking into the warmth along with it. He had to suppress a groan when Tetsurou clenched around his digit.  

To distract both himself and Tetsurou, Shouyou reached to the swollen pink cock that begged for attention right before his eyes. Working his fingers slowly into Tetsurou, Shouyou stroked the length of his dick. He eagerly listened to the noises that fell from Tetsurou's lips: the gasps, the groans, the soft whispers of Shouyou's name. The melody of it hummed somewhere deep in Shouyou's chest and he could feel the warmth spreading over his limbs. It wasn't quite like the desire he remembered – not a roaring fire or a raging storm – but it was softer, calmer, more... intimate. And it shook Shouyou to the core with its fragility.

He slipped another finger into Tetsurou when the tightness around his single digit lessened. This was always a slow process, but Shouyou didn't mind the sight before him this time. Tetsurou was sprawled on the messy sheets looking even more breathtaking than before. His skin glistened with a thin sheen of sweat, his chest heaved with quickened breaths, his hair was even more messy and contrasted beautifully with the white of the pillow. His mouth was parted and lips wet with moans, but the way his eyes were scrunched shut brought back something unpleasant in Shouyou's chest.

He let go of Tetsurou's length, but kept working his fingers into him. Leaning up and supporting himself on his free hand, Shouyou kissed the corner of Tetsurou's mouth. Golden eyes opened just a little, hazy with pleasure and a thing that Shouyou guessed had to be memories. Shouyou's heart clenched in his chest, in pity or anger, he couldn't tell.

"Don't think about him," he whispered, determined. "Think of me. _Only_ me."

He twisted the fingers inside Tetsurou and with deep satisfaction watched how Tetsurou arched off the sheets with a moan. It reverberated through Shouyou's chest, filling him with a sense of accomplishment. He moved his fingers in the exact same way, curling them against the soft flesh. Tetsurou's hips twitched, while his arms found their place around Shouyou's shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss.

While Tetsurou was distracted, Shouyou put in the third finger. He swallowed the groan that was building up in Tetsurou's throat, kissing him with more pressure than before. He could feel the arousal pooling low in his abdomen and Shouyou knew it was time. He waited though, stretching Tetsurou out as best as he could. He didn't want to hurt him, not now, not ever.

But Tetsurou was more impatient than he was.

"Please," he breathed against Shouyou's lips, his arms tightening around Shouyou. "Shouyou-san, please... just... put it in."

Shouyou curled his fingers inside him one more time, feeling the full body shiver that passed through Tetsurou.

"Are you sure?" he asked for the last time.

A quick "Yes" was spoken against Shouyou's throat where Tetsurou hid his face as his hips shamelessly bucked against Shouyou's hand. Without any delay, Shouyou pulled out his fingers, letting Tetsurou's arms fall from around him. He sat back and slipped out of his underwear. The sound of the condom packet being ripped open was loud in the otherwise quiet apartment. Even the storm outside had calmed into a slight drizzle, as if it was attuned to their emotions.

Shouyou rolled the condom on his length, spread some lube on it and stroked himself a few times before he settled back between Tetsurou's knees. Golden eyes were watching him expectantly and a nervous shiver suddenly gripped Shouyou's spine. It wasn't like he hadn't done this before, but the thought of finally doing this with Tetsurou... Shouyou's heart thrummed in his chest.

Maybe Tetsurou had sensed his hesitance or maybe he was just impatient, but he sat up and nuzzled their cheeks together. It was soft and mellow, and Shouyou could feel all the nervousness melting in the warm affection that surged through his whole body at the gesture. He pressed a grateful kiss to Tetsurou's jaw, lying them down on the sheets again. He kissed Tetsurou's abused lips, trying to return the same tenderness that Tetsurou had seeped into his heart. A small smile was playing on Tetsurou's lips when they parted, making Shouyou smile a little as well.

And then he was pushing the head of his cock inside Tetsurou, slowly and carefully, fighting against the urge to sink himself into the soft warmth in one thrust. Tetsurou's knees tightened around him and Shouyou stroked one of them gently.

"Relax," he said in a calm voice, despite the flames of desire licking at his insides. "I won't hurt you, so just try to relax."

He found Tetsurou's hand and locked their fingers together, immediately feeling the tight squeeze when Tetsurou clung to it as if it was the only thing keeping him sane. Pushing himself deeper into Tetsurou's ass, Shouyou could definitely say he returned the sentiment. The heat and tightness around him felt so good his breathing got ragged as he struggled to keep still in order to let Tetsurou recover once he had pushed all the way inside. Shouyou bent down, pressing tiny kisses to Tetsurou's cheeks and jaw, listening to the sound of Tetsurou's sharp inhales until they died down into a calmer rhythm.

"Tell me when you're ready," Shouyou said, nosing across the stubble on Tetsurou's jaw. His lips tingled from the way it scratched them repeatedly, but it was a pleasant feeling, one that Shouyou couldn't get enough of.

Tetsurou hummed, butting his jaw against Shouyou's cheek lightly. "Give me just a minute more."

"However much you need," Shouyou replied, his heart swelling at the vulnerability in Tetsurou's voice.

He was pretty sure that if he ever got to meet the guy that broke this beautiful human being he was holding in his arms, he'd probably sock the guy in the face. More than once. Before the justified anger could fully spring up to life in Shouyou's chest, Tetsurou tilted his head, pressing a kiss to Shouyou's cheek.

"Okay," he said in a quiet voice. "You can move now."

And Shouyou needn't be told twice. He left a fleeting kiss on Tetsurou's lips and pulled up. His hips moved back, the drag of his cock inside Tetsurou sending a delightful shiver down his spine. With half-lidded eyes, he watched Tetsurou while he slowly pushed back in. He kept his thrusts shallow and careful, holding himself back in order to gauge Tetsurou's reactions. There was a small wrinkle between Tetsurou's brows, a small grimace of pain around his lips, but his eyes urged Shouyou to continue moving, so he did.

He shifted their position a bit, bending Tetsurou more at the waist, but it seemed to be a good choice. Tetsurou groaned once Shouyou set a steady rhythm, the muscles tightening around him a bit. Tetsurou's thighs squeezed at him when he'd hooked them around Shouyou's waist as if he wanted to pull him even deeper inside. Shouyou quickened his thrusts, trusting in Tetsurou's moans that were more filled with pleasure than pain. His own mind was getting hazy with the sharp suction on his dick and he had to find something to focus on before he lost himself completely.

He quickly found it just by glancing up at Tetsurou's face. His head was thrown back and throat bared, the expanse of the skin tantalizing to Shouyou's eyes. Continuing to work his hips in and out of Tetsurou, Shouyou reached a hand to his neck, tracing fingers down the column of his throat. It made Tetsurou look down at him, his eyes bright and golden, and Shouyou's breath whooshed out of his lungs at the influx of emotion he was assaulted with.

This was stupid, he knew. Tetsurou only wanted the money from him, he knew. The sex was only a way to earn it, he knew.

But he also knew that he didn't care about any of it. Not anymore. He wanted Tetsurou in any way he could have him. It was dumb, it was irresponsible, it was probably the biggest mistake he could make. And yet, Shouyou didn't give a fuck.

He was in love.

His breath returned and he dived down to steal a kiss from Tetsurou's lips.

He was in love. With his sugar baby.

His hips stuttered, losing their rhythm for a moment before he picked it up, even faster than before. Tetsurou moaned against his mouth and Shouyou's mind clouded.

He didn't know what he'd do with himself later, how he'd be able to continue this relationship, but for now none of that mattered. He was in love. And the person he fell for was right there, in his arms, gasping out his name in pleasure.

The thighs around Shouyou's hips clenched and Shouyou thrust himself deeper and sharper into Tetsurou. He groaned at the heat building inside him, at the heat engulfing him, at the amazing feeling of Tetsurou's soft insides tightening around him as he brought them both closer to the edge. With one hand, Shouyou reached down to Tetsurou's neglected cock, stroking the length in a pace matching his thrusts. Tetsurou's head was thrown to the side and moans spilled freely from his parted lips, the sound going deep into Shouyou's groin and fuelling him further.

"Shou–"

Tetsurou groaned around the syllables of his name and something possessive and primal woke up in Shouyou's chest at that. It was like nothing he had felt before. It was almost as if Tetsurou had a key to the part of Shouyou that had been previously locked away and he was now using it to set that part free. And Shouyou finally felt it – he was free.

His thumb rubbed the precum pearling on the head of Tetsurou's dick on the whole length of it, earning more of Tetsurou's delicious moans. Shouyou loved to be the one on the receiving end, it was his preference, but this – watching Tetsurou trash around the bed, flushed with passion and aglow with desire – this he could get used to as well. Very easily.

He licked his lips just as Tetsurou's body stated stiffening, and Shouyou could tell Tetsurou was close. And so was he.

Sinking himself into Tetsurou harder and faster, Shouyou continued stroking him. Tetsurou's moans grew in volume, the desperate edge to them fuelling Shouyou even more. He felt the harsh clenching of Tetsurou's muscles right before orgasm hit Tetsurou hard. The cock in Shouyou's hand pulsed as streaks of cum shot out of it only to paint Tetsurou's chest with white. The groan that rippled through Tetsurou's body was enough to send Shouyou over the edge as well.

His hips jerked as he thrust into the tight entrance and the build up of all the emotion, all the feelings and sensations crashed down on him. Shouyou came with a sharp gasp, riding off his orgasm with hard, uncontrollable thrusts. Tetsurou's soft moans made his dick twitch inside him, as if coming just once was not enough, but Shouyou couldn't handle another go even if he tried.

He was drained. More emotionally than physically, but when he finally pulled out of Tetsurou and looked at the man resting on the sheets below him, with golden eyes gazing at him gently, Shouyou's throat clenched. He had never cried after sex, it just wasn't his thing. Yet in that single moment, he felt like he could.

He leaned down to kiss Tetsurou instead, too scared to speak because he knew his voice would waver if he did. Tetsurou pulled him in, his arms coming up to embrace Shouyou and the warmth of it melted his heart. The clenching of his throat got painful, and Shouyou could feel the sting of tears in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away, trying to calm down, but when Tetsurou looked him in the eye with a smile that was heart-wrenchingly soft, all of his composure was lost.

"Thank you," Tetsurou whispered, his hand resting on Shouyou's cheek.

Shouyou bowed his head down to Tetsurou's shoulder, hiding his face from the other's eyes.

And then he cried. Because he was in love and that was all he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now who said anything about happily getting back together ;3c  
> expect the next chap around tomorrow~


	9. Ask for nothing else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, here's another chapter, enjoy~

Shouyou was positive that sex with Tetsurou was the best, but at the same time the most embarrassing sex of his life. Even now when Shouyou thought about it, his cheeks burned slightly. He couldn't believe that he let himself _cry_ afterwards. It had never happened before and Shouyou was mortified that it might happen again, but the way Tetsurou handled it soothed his worries just a little. Because when tears started rolling down Shouyou's face, Tetsurou's only reaction was a tight embrace around Shouyou's shoulders. He held Shouyou close, running his warm palm over Shouyou's bare back and kissing the side of Shouyou's head as if it was Shouyou that was in need of comforting that night. And maybe he was, maybe _his heart_ was, and Shouyou thanked the gods for Tetsurou's gentle presence.

A small smile stretched his cheeks. He was so glad that they got past their first argument. It was wearing Shouyou down, bringing back the memories he didn't want to touch, and it was taking the same toll on Tetsurou. They both messed up, and Shouyou was only glad that they both had the courage to admit their mistakes to each other. This, like nothing before, proved to him that Tetsurou wasn't just any twenty-three year old. He still had that charming naïveté of youth and he could've handled their argument better, but the end result was what mattered most – and that, Tetsurou passed with flying colours.

They've met only once since that day, they were both too busy with other things to meet up regularly, but the air between them was slowly clearing up. Tetsurou was smiling again and he was definitely more touchy than before, but Shouyou was happy with that. His heart skipped as it pleased when he caught one of Tetsurou's soft smiles or when Tetsurou reached out for his hand and locked their fingers together. Shouyou knew that a storm cloud was hanging over his head, that his feelings for Tetsurou weren't right, that something like this was bound to go off at any time like a bomb without a timer, yet for now he didn't care. For now he was happy and he ignored anything that could stand in the way of that.

He jumped up in his chair when a ticket for the next Blue Rockets' game was unceremoniously thrown onto the keyboard of his laptop. Blinking as he glanced up, Shouyou met the dark green eyes of the Editor in Chief.

"I want the report on my desk on Thursday," Iwaizumi said, leaning on his forearms over the top of Shouyou's cubicle wall. "Can you make it?"

Shouyou picked up the ticket. The match was on Wednesday which left him only one full night to work on the article. Still, it was well within Shouyou's capabilities.

"Sure," he smiled up at his boss.

Iwaizumi nodded, satisfied, and turned away. Suddenly, an idea had Shouyou snap his head up.

"Ah, Iwaizumi-san!" he called, jumping to his feet. The man looked over his shoulder expectantly and Shouyou smiled a little nervously. "I was wondering, you know... Do you maybe have an extra ticket lying around somewhere?"

Iwaizumi's hard stare was unnerving on good days, but right then Shouyou felt as if it bore straight into his soul, piercing him through with an invisible spear of insight. Shouyou sweated, waiting for the reply. He didn't know what Iwaizumi saw in his eyes, but the man procured another ticket from the file folder he was holding onto. Handing it to Shouyou, his eyes were hard, though.

"Remember to focus on your job," Iwaizumi warned.

Shouyou grinned, taking the ticket from him. "Yes, sir!"

With a light heart, he thumped down into his chair, pulling his phone out and typing a quick " _Are you busy on Wednesday?_ " text to Tetsurou. The reply of " _I'm free, what's up?_ " made Shouyou's skin tingle in expectation.

" _What would you say if I told you I have two tickets to the Blue Rockets' game?_ "

His phone rang six seconds after the text was sent (Shouyou knew that for a fact, he counted) and he couldn't help but laugh out loud. Picking up, he muffled his chuckles with his hand when Tetsurou started screaming in excitement as soon as the line connected.

_Oh, it's gonna be fun_ , Shouyou thought, grinning.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou greeted him with a kiss. And not any kiss – it was long and deep and Shouyou could feel Tetsurou's fingers dig into his spine to keep them together for just a little longer. If it was any other day, Shouyou wouldn't mind the long and thorough greeting, but they were short on time and missing the match was out of question. So he pulled back, leaving one last tiny kiss on Tetsurou's lips.

"You can thank me later if you're so eager," he said grinning, "but now we have to go."

Tetsurou's matched his grin. "Oh, I will, don't worry your pretty head about it."

Shouyou's heart fluttered in his chest the whole ride to the stadium where the match was taking place. A small crowd at the entrance was still waiting in line, but Shouyou pulled Tetsurou to the side entrance for press. He pulled out the tickets and his pass to show them to the guard, and then they were inside. Tetsurou's golden eyes were wide, his face slack in awe, and when they entered the court-level area Shouyou could hear him gasp.

"Is that Aone?" Tetsurou asked in a choked whisper, clinging to Shouyou's arm like an overexcited child.

Shouyou looked to the court where the players were warming up, humming disinterestedly.

"Yeah, it might be," he agreed, feigning uncertainty, even though it couldn't be anyone else but the best middle blocker in Japan. A glance at Tetsurou had Shouyou snickering. "You might want to close your mouth, though."

Tetsurou looked at him, affronted. "That's Aone, Shouyou-san! How can you be so casual about it?"

Shouyou only smiled fondly at him. Before he could say anything though, the cameras of the photographers gathered courtside flashed all at once and Shouyou turned his head to see Kageyama making his way towards the court. One of the most daring journalists stepped up to ask for a before-the-game interview, but Kageyama just nonchalantly waved him off without as much as a second glance. Shouyou snickered to himself.

"I heard he has a really bad attitude towards the press," Tetsurou said and Shouyou lifted his eyes to him. "Is there a reason for it?"

Shouyou hummed. "Not really? At least I don't think so. He's just focused on the match and the cameras and interviews are a distraction from what he really is here to do – play volleyball."

He let his eyes trail over to the court, watching Kageyama join the warm up. There was a time when he stood right there next to him, getting ready to play his heart out. Shouyou's smile waned a little.

"Come on, let's find our seats," he said, pulling Tetsurou away.

The stadium was quickly filling with people, the noise of their conversations growing into a buzz. Tetsurou was looking around curiously while Shouyou focused more on the players. They all looked to be in good shape, which meant it'd be one hell of a match and Shouyou was glad that it was this one that he decided to take Tetsurou to. He glanced to the side to see Tetsurou's awed face as he glued his eyes to Aone. His golden eyes were sparkling in highest excitement, his cheeks were slightly flushed and his lips were parted as if breathing was easier that way. Shouyou snickered to himself.

"If I knew all it'd take to make you like this was seeing Aone, I would've taken you to a match sooner," he teased, watching how Tetsurou tore his eyes from the court with difficulty. "I'm a little jealous now."

"Aww," Tetsurou cooed, putting a hand on Shouyou's knee. "You have no reason to be jealous, Shouyou-san. There's no one who can measure up to you."

He said it easily and with a bright grin, seemingly unaware of what exactly it was that he was saying, but Shouyou froze in his seat. He could feel the blush creep up his neck, he could feel his cheeks redden and his neck itch as the red reached even there. All Shouyou wanted in that moment was to hide his face in his hands, because that was way too smooth and since when was Tetsurou this good at reducing him to a flustered mess?

Before he could do anything, however, Tetsurou leaned closer, bypassing Shouyou's cheek and whispering into his ear:

"You know, I always wondered, is that a full body blush?"

The hand on Shouyou's knee was heavy and too hot, the breath ghosting over the shell of his ear was making him shiver, and the subtle scratch of stubble against his cheek reduced Shouyou's brain to an overheated jelly. Tetsurou pressed his lips to the spot behind Shouyou's ear, withdrawing completely from him with a small smirk playing in the corner of his mouth.

"Guess I'll have to check for myself," he announced cheerfully as if Shouyou didn't have enough for one day.

Shouyou's heart was beating wildly, partly at Tetsurou's previous words, partly at the implications of what he had said just now. He forced himself to calm down, though. This was work, he had to focus. The game was about to begin, the stadium was three-fours full, and the cameras were flashing nonstop. It was show time.

Shouyou's eyes caught Kageyama's across the court. Kageyama's hand slowly tapped his chest and Shouyou's heart clenched in a way that was a bit painful, a bit bitter-sweet. He swallowed the bitterness, touching his own hand to his chest. It was the gesture the two of them used before every match they played together: _I'm here, so trust me and play your best_. Shouyou's lips quirked in a sad smile.

Tetsurou must have caught their exchange, because he asked in a quiet voice:

"Have you two ever..." he paused and when Shouyou turned to him, there was hesitation in his brow.

"Have we ever what?" Shouyou prodded.

Tetsurou swallowed before continuing, his eyes following Kageyama. "Have you been together? Like, _together_ together?"

"No," Shouyou answered, watching Tetsurou's profile. "We're just friends, that's what we've always been. Plus, Kageyama's married to Hitoka. He's as straight as they come."

That caught Tetsurou's attention, because he whipped his head around to look at Shouyou with slightly widened eyes.

"Your ex-wife?" he asked and Shouyou only nodded with a small smile. "Wow, okay. That's... complicated."

Shouyou snorted.

"Not really." He shrugged. "He was there for her when I wasn't. It's a pretty natural thing they fell in love, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah," Tetsurou agreed. "But isn't he your best friend? And she was still your wife? That's a little..."

He stopped himself, but Shouyou didn't really care. Both Kageyama and Hitoka were still important people in his life, and his friends. It didn't matter that she was his wife when it happened. He was in no position to be angry over it, because everything that had happened was his fault in the end. His fault that he got injured, his fault that he let the depression get to him, his fault that he isolated himself from everyone. It was his and only his fault and he had no right to stand between Hitoka and her happiness. Even if it was with his best friend. Shouyou was actually glad the two of them got together – at least he could be sure Kageyama would make Hitoka happy in ways that he himself couldn't.

Shouyou smiled to himself.

"Don't worry about it," he said, nudging Tetsurou with his elbow right when the first whistle of the game cut through the air. "Just enjoy the match."

And there was what to enjoy. The Thunders' had the best blocking team in the country, but it still didn't work against Kageyama's genius and the perfect saves Rockets' libero racked up over the duration of the four sets it took for the Rockets' to win. Shouyou's fingers were itching to write all about it and he couldn't wait to return home and start typing away, but when they were leaving and Tetsurou's hand snatched his, locking their fingers together, he felt the itch melt. Maybe work could wait just a little...

 

* * *

 

It took more than 'just a little' for Shouyou to get back to work, because Tetsurou was adamant on showing him his gratitude and when faced with the pleading gaze of his golden eyes, Shouyou could do nothing else but give in. And oh, he enjoyed that show very much. Almost two hours after leaving the stadium Shouyou was finally allowed to work on his article while Tetsurou was dozing off in his bed.

Shouyou's fingers were flying across the keyboard, the inspiration making them move almost on their own as sentence after sentence flashed through Shouyou's mind and onto the white screen of the open document. He was sitting in his favourite armchair, which dipped under his weight as if it wanted to swallow him, but it was comfortable and Shouyou could hook his legs under him and still keep his laptop balanced enough to write. The light chill of the evening was enveloping his flat and Shouyou's skin was starting to get cold since the only thing he was wearing was his underwear, but he was too focused on writing to get up and dress properly. The only thing on his mind was the fluency of his text, the memory of the spikes, blocks and saves he had seen today, and how to connect it all into a beautiful piece of writing that could do the match justice.

He didn't even notice the soft flap of feet on the wooden floorboards or Tetsurou's messy figure coming over from the bedroom. Only when a warm arm sneaked around his chest, hugging him from the side, did he break out of his writing spree. Tetsurou nuzzled the side of Shouyou's head and kissed his bare shoulder, warm lips against Shouyou's chilled skin.

"How's the article going?" Tetsurou asked, resting his chin on Shouyou's shoulder.

"Surprisingly well," Shouyou answered, turning his head a bit to grin at him. "I think I might have found my muse." He winked.

Tetsurou chuckled, but Shouyou could see the light pink colouring his cheeks as easily as he could see the already purpling hickeys on Tetsurou's neck. The possessive type of satisfaction warmed up his chest.

"Well, I'm glad I could be of help," Tetsurou replied, grinning. "One way or another."

His eyes dragged down Shouyou's bare chest and it was Shouyou's turn to blush. Tetsurou's grin sharpened and Shouyou only rolled his eyes at him. A soft peck to Shouyou's cheek later, Tetsurou was moving away, his warm body leaving Shouyou alone in the cold.

"I'll make you some coffee, mister writer," Tetsurou said, stroking Shouyou's neck as he made his way towards the kitchen.

Shouyou watched him go, a little distracted by the perfectly shaped ass he could admire right below the thin stretch of Tetsurou's underwear. He snapped himself out of it forcefully though, focusing back on writing. He was only two paragraphs into it when Tetsurou returned with a mug of freshly brewed coffee that smelled so good Shouyou's head lifted to sniff the air, even though he was in the middle of a sentence.

"Here," Tetsurou said, setting the mug on the coffee table before Shouyou.

Wordlessly, Shouyou took off his glasses, setting them on the table and picked the mug by the ear. He carefully sipped on the hot coffee, sighing in bliss.

"Oh, wow," he breathed out. His eyes flicked to Tetsurou who was watching him with a small smile. "Marry me."

Tetsurou laughed at that, throwing his head back. Shouyou's heartbeat quickened and he could feel the warmth spreading through his limbs, which had nothing to do with the beverage in his hand.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," Tetsurou replied, grinning. "But that requires a ring, don't you think?"

Tetsurou wiggled the fingers of one of his hands, pointing out the lack of said ring. Shouyou couldn't help but snicker at that. The wild flapping of his heart turned into a steady staccato, which only served to make Shouyou realize that he could have actually meant those words if he was proposing for real. He swallowed a mouthful of coffee, distracting himself with the burn of the liquid on his tongue.

They fell into comfortable silence, Shouyou soon returning to work. Tetsurou, on the other hand, took that moment to make his way to the small bookcase that stood to the left of the TV. He was sieving through titles until one of them caught his attention. He then picked it up and returned to the couch to start reading.

It was maybe an hour before Shouyou felt the stiffness settle in his bones and the chill made his fingers slow down. He saved his work, set the laptop on the table and stood up, stretching. A few bones popped and Shouyou sighed.

"Okay, I need a break," he announced. "And clothes."

"Why, I think you look fine like this," Tetsurou said, glancing up from his book. His golden eyes shone appreciatively and Shouyou felt his face heat up. "But you know, if you ever need warming up, I'm game."

Shouyou snickered, passing Tetsurou and ruffling his already messy hair. "No, thank you, I have an article to finish tonight."

Shouyou disappeared in his bedroom, pulling on sweats and a simple white t-shirt. When he returned, Tetsurou was immersed in his book again and Shouyou found himself pouting. It was one thing when he worked, but now when he wasn't, he wanted to occupy Tetsurou's full attention. The feeling was a little unsettling because until this moment Shouyou never felt like that about anyone, but it just proved to show how special Tetsurou was to him. Special... The tips of Shouyou's ears stung a little when the word love crossed Shouyou's mind again.

He shook his head like a dog out of water and walked over to the couch. He plucked the book out of Tetsurou's fingers, closing it and throwing it onto the coffee table.

"Hey, I was reading that," Tetsurou protested, a tiny pout curling around the corner of his mouth.

"And now you're not," Shouyou said, supporting himself with hands on Tetsurou's shoulders while he moved to straddle his lap.

He leaned down, pressing a single kiss to Tetsurou's pursed lips, and then one more, and another, until Tetsurou's arms pulled him closer by the waist and his warm lips responded to Shouyou's kisses.

"Didn't you say you have an article to finish?" Tetsurou asked, his fingers dipping under the hem of Shouyou's shirt and caressing the chilly skin. "What happened to that?"

Shouyou hummed, kissing him again before he answered: "Just cuddle me, you little shit."

Tetsurou huffed in laughter, pulling Shouyou closer until he could lean his chin on Tetsurou's shoulder comfortably. Shouyou closed his eyes, snuggling as close as he could to steal at least some of Tetsurou's warmth. They sat like that for a while in complete silence, Tetsurou's heartbeat and slow breathing the only sounds Shouyou was listening to.

"Tetsurou?" he asked to keep himself from falling asleep. "Can I ask you a question?"

The hum from Tetsurou reverberated through his chest and into Shouyou's bones.

"What is it?"

"How old were you when you knew you were gay?" he asked casually.

He was wondering about it for quite some time now and all the Hitoka talk brought back his own memories from the time, so he decided it was time to ask. Tetsurou didn't seem to think much of it, because his answer was just as casual as Shouyou's question.

"I had a crush in high school," Tetsurou said. "It was stupid and juvenile, and obviously nothing came out of it, but that's when I realized. You just don't dream of a guy kissing you, wake up to a mess in your underwear and stay straight."

Shouyou snorted into Tetsurou's neck. He had a point there.

"So when did you?" Tetsurou asked in return.

Shouyou mulled over the question for a while before he answered.

"I was always only concerned with volleyball, nothing else existed to me in school. Me and Hitoka happened because it just felt natural to be together, you know? But now that I look back on it all, I can clearly see that I was more focused on my volleyball rivals than the girl I was supposedly in love with."

It was unfair to Hitoka, but that was the truth. Sometimes, even though everything had turned out okay the way it was, but sometimes still, Shouyou wished he could take the time back and do everything differently. Make it _right_.

"It should've been my first hint, probably," he continued. "But I was a dumb kid back then, so I never realized anything. Hitoka was actually the first one to piece it all together and she was the one who pushed me to just... you know, go and try it. I think I was about," Shouyou paused, thinking, "maybe twenty-nine? When I first had sex with a guy."

"So you dated a guy before?" Tetsurou asked, curious.

"No, not really," Shouyou replied, a little bashful. "It was just a one night stand."

"Did you date any guy after that?" Tetsurou changed his question and again, Shouyou felt a little embarrassed.

"No," he answered truthfully. "I wasn't ready for a relationship like that, I just got divorced. And then when some time passed I guess I just got used to being alone. Until Kenma and you came along."

"So you could say I'm your first serious relationship since your divorce?" Tetsurou turned his head to glance at Shouyou, and Shouyou lifted his head up to do the same.

"Yeah, you could say that."

Tetsurou's lips quirked in a smirk that made Shouyou's heart beat against his ribcage in excitement. It would be too much to hope that the gleam in Tetsurou's golden eyes was possessiveness and satisfaction, it would be too much and Shouyou couldn't fool himself like that. He knew it and he accepted it, but for just a moment... just this moment...

"I actually like that," Tetsurou said, his voice an octave lower. He leaned closer, lips a breath away from Shouyou's. "I really, really like that."

And Shouyou really, really liked that, too.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou never thought about Shouyou's ex-wife much. Of course, he knew that the divorce was an amicable affair and that there were no hard feelings between them, but he had never realized that they were still friends until one day he literally walked in on them.

It was a lovely afternoon, the spring in full bloom, and he decided to cut early one of his lectures. It was boring as hell and he couldn't stand it a second longer, so after a short text to Shouyou he was on his way over. He was in great mood: the air smelled sweet and filled his lungs with excitement to the brims; the sun was warm and made him smile; the prospect of seeing Shouyou was making butterflies flutter in his stomach. You could say Tetsurou was ready to sing "it's spring and I'm in love" and skip along the sidewalks, except he was an adult and it would be inappropriate and people would stare, so instead he just hummed cheerfully to himself, grinning at everyone like a loony.

He couldn't wait to see Shouyou. Everything that happened since their argument was finally how it should be – carefree and happy, and Tetsurou felt like they had just entered their honeymoon phase (if relationships like theirs even had those). They were more open with each other, they talked about difficult stuff and they tried to understand each other's feelings. It was more than Tetsurou had with any of his previous sugar daddies and there were moments when he wondered if it wasn't crossing the line, but... he wanted this with Shouyou.

After their argument, after all these days of pain and heartbreak, Tetsurou realized that his feelings for Shouyou might have been stronger than he gave them credit. Tetsurou was in love only once, and it was a messy one-sided thing that he never got to fully explore, but what he felt for Shouyou was slightly different. It was stronger, for sure, and... purer. There was still the same pain of an unrequited crush squeezing at his heart, but it was lighter, less cruel. Or maybe it was just Tetsurou's stupid hope that maybe, just maybe, Shouyou could grow to care about him as well. One day...

He was just taking the corner right next to Shouyou's apartment building when he saw them.

Shouyou was laughing, the sun catching in his hair and turning it into burning orange. He looked beautiful and Tetsurou's breath caught in his throat in awe as he stopped in place almost afraid to come over and break the moment.

And then he saw her.

She was tiny and her mid-length blond hair was loose except for a single braid that circled her head. From where he was standing, Tetsurou couldn't fully see her face, but he could see she was smiling. That one high school picture he'd seen weeks ago was a vague memory in his mind, with everything that happened later, but Tetsurou recognized her immediately.

It was Hitoka. Shouyou's ex-wife.

Uncertainty churned in his stomach as he watched the two talk. Should he walk over? Introduce himself? Or should he hide? What was the proper procedure for meeting your sugar daddy's ex-wife? Tetsurou swallowed harshly, the warm sun suddenly too hot on his skin. He stood in his spot, undecided, while his heart panged painfully in his chest.

Shouyou's hand touched Hitoka's arm as he was saying something and she nodded, smiling up at him and straightening the collar of his white button-up. It was so domestic, so _natural_ that Tetsurou suddenly felt sick. It was almost as if they were still married, as if they were still husband and wife, and that thought made Tetsurou lightheaded with dread.

Before he could do anything, or snap himself out of it for that matter, Hitoka gave Shouyou a small wave of her tiny hand and left, going the side opposite of Tetsurou. It let him breathe a little clearer, but when he took the first step his legs still felt like jelly. Shaken up, he walked over to Shouyou.

"Was that your wife?" he asked, and noticed how raspy his voice was. He cleared his throat, looking over Shouyou's shoulder at where Hitoka disappeared behind the corner.

"Yeah," Shouyou replied. A small smile was still lingering on his face. "Are you hungry? We could grab something to eat while we're out."

He reached for Tetsurou's hand, locking their fingers together. The gesture was simple, but somehow it was enough to settle Tetsurou's heart. Tetsurou took a deep breath, the fresh air helping to clear out the rest of his doubts.

Shouyou was divorced. He was gay, Tetsurou knew that for a fact. Shouyou wouldn't be going back to his wife, not when she was already married to his best friend. He wasn't that kind of person.

With a small smile, Tetsurou squeezed Shouyou's finger.

"How about we order some take out?" he proposed. "I'd rather not share you with anyone today."

 "Mm," Shouyou's eyes gleamed in the afternoon sun. "I like the sound of that."

Once they were inside Shouyou's apartment, Shouyou ordered some yakisoba from the place nearby and half an hour later, their order was set on the coffee table. The TV was on and humming in the background as they ate and soon Tetsurou forgot all about Shouyou's ex-wife.

Or he tried to. He really, really tried. And he almost succeeded, too. But when he left the bathroom after they were done with their food and noticed the picture on the small dresser that was standing vis-à-vis the door, his heart gave a single painful pang and then stopped.

Because the picture was one of Shouyou and Hitoka. And sitting on Shouyou's arm with tiny arms around his neck was a kid with light blond hair and big brown eyes. With shaky fingers Tetsurou picked up the photo, looking over it as his mind spun. One of Hitoka's hands was resting on Shouyou's arm and Tetsurou could see the wedding band glistening on her finger. His chest hurt and his eyes stung, suddenly too hot and watery.

Did Shouyou...? Was that...? He couldn't even finish the thought in his head.

The food he had eaten not so long ago rose up to his throat. He swallowed harshly, putting the photo down. His hands still shook and he knew he couldn't really act like nothing happened, but he didn't know how to explain what he was feeling, what to say to Shouyou, which meant only one thing.

"You know," he started, coming back to the living room where Shouyou was skipping through channels on the TV. "I just remembered I have this assignment to finish for tomorrow, so I need to go."

Shouyou smiled at him easily. "It's fine, we can hang out another day. Go do your homework."

Tetsurou tried to smile at him, but the muscles of his face didn't obey him. He grabbed his bag, toed in his shoes and left with a hasty goodbye thrown over his shoulder. He didn't even wait for the lift. Taking steps two at a time he was already a floor below when Shouyou's voice stopped him.

"Tetsurou, wait!"

Shouyou was standing on top of the stairs, barefooted and wide-eyed. He came down to stand before Tetsurou, two steps higher to stay on the same eyelevel. He was looking at Tetsurou searchingly, as if he knew something wasn't right, but couldn't quite place it.

"You don't have a last minute assignment, do you?" Shouyou finally asked and Tetsurou had to look away from him. "What's going on?"

Tetsurou didn't answer. Because he couldn't. He bit his lip, trying to wrap his mind about everything he was feeling, but it was no use.

"Hey," Shouyou's voice was soft and the hands that took hold of Tetsurou's face were just as gentle. "Remember, we promised each other we'd be honest about our feelings."

"I know," Tetsurou said quietly, still avoiding his eyes. "I just don't know what... or how..."

"It's okay," Shouyou said, still in that same soothing tone. His thumbs ran over Tetsurou's cheekbones, seeping warmth into the skin. "Just take a deep breath, it's okay."

Tetsurou closed his eyes, doing what Shouyou suggested. His mind swam with feelings and thoughts, and the additional air only made him more lightheaded. It wasn't working.

"Whatever it is, we can work through it together," Shouyou promised and Tetsurou wanted to believe that.

He opened his eyes, looking into Shouyou's. They were concerned and attentive, almost attuned to every change on Tetsurou's face. Tetsurou swallowed harshly, realizing that Shouyou might have actually really cared about him...

"Do you have a child?"

The words left his mouth before he could even think of what he was saying, but he was glad they did. He finally asked what was bothering him, threw it off his chest. Shouyou's eyes widened comically and his mouth opened a little in shock as his hands retracted from Tetsurou's face. Then, Shouyou's lips suddenly quirked in a smirk.

"Do I count you in that or...?" he joked, and Tetsurou sent him a look. "Sorry, sorry. Bad timing for jokes, I get it." Shouyou closed his eyes briefly and sighed. "I don't have kids. Where did this even come from? Is that what's been bothering you?"

Tetsurou felt a few things at the same time. Relief, because the kid in the picture wasn't Shouyou's child. Shame, because he jumped to conclusions again. Guilt, because he assumed the worst instead of trusting Shouyou enough to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I saw you with your ex-wife before and you looked so... comfortable with each other that I was a little unsettled," Tetsurou admitted.

Shouyou was watching him carefully, but Tetsurou picked the constellation of freckles on Shouyou's right cheek to speak to. He didn't have the courage to look into Shouyou's eyes.

"And then I saw the picture in front of your bathroom, the one with her and the child and I just..."

He couldn't finish. He felt like an idiot, acting immaturely again when he promised Shouyou that he wouldn't. That he'd trust him. And then he didn't.

"I'm so fucking stupid," Tetsurou groaned, turning away and hiding his face in his hands in shame.

Shouyou chuckled warmly, pulling him into a hug. His body was a hard press against Tetsurou, arms keeping him close and not allowing him to escape like he wanted to.

"The kid you saw in the picture is my godson," Shouyou said lightly. "He's Hitoka and Kageyama's child. I'm just the fun uncle that sometimes plays volleyball with him when his dad's away."

Tetsurou groaned again, thrusting his face in Shouyou's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions again. I'm so sorry, Shouyou-san."

Shouyou pulled back a little, and this time Tetsurou made himself look him in the eye. Amber shone in amusement, not at all bothered by Tetsurou's lack of trust, and relief settled in Tetsurou's heart. Shouyou smiled at him, warm and soft, and Tetsurou felt like the luckiest man alive when he leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss.

He might have fucked up many things in his life, and he might fuck up even more. But as long as he had this, he was happy. As long as he was with Shouyou, he could ask for nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with this we're back again to the usual posting schedule - chapters once a week, see yall next sunday~


	10. Sugar, we're going down swinging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's get on this rollercoaster again yall

Skin slick with sweat and body trembling in the aftershocks of pleasure, Tetsurou slid out of Shouyou. He rolled to the side in order not to crush him, sighing when the cold sheets brushed against his back in a pleasant caress. Shouyou was already collapsed next to him, breathing heavily with eyes closed, mouth parted, and lips red and glistening with saliva. Tetsurou wanted to lean in and kiss them silly again, but his own heartbeat had yet to come off the high. Lazily, he turned to the side, pressing his lips to Shouyou's shoulder instead. And then a little higher, and once more in the crook of Shouyou's neck. Shouyou groaned into the pillow without as much as cracking open one eye and Tetsurou chuckled.

"Don't die on me yet, grandpa," he teased.

Shouyou's arm twitched and it moved slowly up to Tetsurou's head as if Shouyou was trying to swat at him, but all he did was lay his hand on Tetsurou's head. Tetsurou snickered, but his amusement quickly turned into appreciation when Shouyou's hand started rubbing, fingers massaging his scalp and tugging on his hair lightly, in a way that turned his brain into mush. Almost purring, Tetsurou let the other pull him closer. Shouyou turned on his side and with a hand on Tetsurou's nape guided their lips together.

Tetsurou hummed in the back of his throat, allowing his mouth to be claimed because the fingers pressing into his skull did wonders to distract him. With a sigh against Shouyou's lips he shifted and splayed himself over Shouyou's chest, not entirely comfortable, but content enough not to move. Shouyou continued his petting, and really, for just this moment Tetsurou wouldn't terribly mind being a cat.

They stayed like that for a while, until Tetsurou could no longer feel the pleasant breeze from the window on his heated skin but cold gusts of wind, until the goosebumps started to show. But even then, he didn't want to move.

"I have this thing tomorrow," Shouyou spoke up out of nowhere, his fingers still threading through Tetsurou's hair. "Remember when I said I coach kids from time to time?" After Tetsurou hummed in agreement, Shouyou continued. "I was thinking, maybe you want to tag along?"

Tetsurou turned his head to him quickly. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," Shouyou smiled, and some of the afterglow was still in his eyes, because they shone even brighter than usual. "If you want to."

"I'd love to," Tetsurou grinned. "Now, continue with the petting."

Shouyou laughed out loud, his chest rumbling and shaking under Tetsurou and he pursed his lips in a pout. That was, until Shouyou's hand obediently returned to his head and Shouyou's fingers started doing their magic again. With a warm smile, Tetsurou closed his eyes, too happy for words.

 

* * *

 

What Shouyou was coaching wasn't a school class or anything that organized, not really. It was just a group of kids of different ages: some of them from the elementary school, some from the middle school, and all they had in common was that they lived in the vicinity of one of the big parks, which had the volleyball poles cemented into the ground. Tetsurou wasn't surprised to see that Shouyou had brought a net with him, along with a few balls, pairs of knee protectors and two first aid kits. He seemed well prepared and in a great mood – the smile was almost glued to his face, warm and bright, and Tetsurou kept catching himself at simply staring at him when he was clearly supposed to be doing something else.

The kids gathered around at eleven, some with their parents, some alone, but there was enough for at least two teams. They all greeted Shouyou warmly and with excitement, and Tetsurou couldn't help but share their enthusiasm. He couldn't wait to see Shouyou with a ball in his hands.

As it soon turned out, what Shouyou was doing was more like being a judge than a coach, since the kids knew how to play already. It was amusing to watch the slow tempo of their plays, so different from how Tetsurou's high school experience was. From time to time Shouyou paused the game to walk to one of the kids and correct his form, explain how to tuck in the elbows with the underhanded receive or how to make sure you won't dislocate fingers with the overhead one. His smile and expression were gentle and so supportive, and Tetsurou's heart clenched a little in his chest at the thought that Shouyou could have been playing volleyball for living if only–

"Tetsurou!" Shouyou called from the other side of the makeshift curt. "Come here!"

With a grin, he trekked over. "What's up?"

"We lost one person on team B. Do you want to play?" Shouyou asked, eyes shining brightly, and Tetsurou found it impossible to say no.

"Sure," he nodded.

The kids on team B started cheering, while answering groans and protests sounded from team A. It made Tetsurou's grin widen and Shouyou only rolled his eyes at him, but his smile was still firmly in place.

"Then we want Shou-sensei!" one of the kids on team A shouted and soon the calls of Shouyou's name were picked up by his teammates.

Tetsurou snickered. "Looks like you have no choice, sensei."

"Hey, don't call me that," Shouyou sent him a glare that was rendered useless by the smile on his lips.

"Make me," Tetsurou said, turning away and walking over to his team. "S-e-n-s-e-i~"

"Oh, just you wait," Shouyou huffed at his back.

They took positions on the opposite sides of the court and the game resumed. Of course, they couldn't go all out, their teams were composed of kids after all and this was just a friendly game, but it didn't stop Tetsurou from aiming his jump serve at Shouyou. To his surprise, Shouyou's knees bent swiftly, his hips twisted and arms joined together as if it was second nature, and the ball was picked up flawlessly, flying over to the setter. A little bewildered, Tetsurou caught Shouyou winking at him, and he grinned. This was fun.

It was almost an hour later when the kids started to lose energy and they called it quits. The parents came over to thank Shouyou for always doing this, and he only waved them off with a smile, saying that he was doing this as much for himself as for them, and after seeing him play Tetsurou had to admit it was true.

Shouyou looked good on the court. Even more, he still had the skills. Maybe they weren't polished, maybe they weren't the top-of-Japan good, but he could still play if he wanted to. The only problem was Shouyou's knee and in that moment, unlike any other time, Tetsurou's heart clenched painfully for him.

They took down the net, gathered the balls and loaded everything into the trunk of Shouyou's car. Shouyou closed it with a loud crash.

"Hitoka asked us over for lunch," he said out of the blue, without even looking at Tetsurou.

Tetsurou froze in place, all his thoughts of Shouyou's possible volleyball career flying out of his mind faster than a summer breeze.

"What?" he choked out.

Shouyou sighed, turning to him, one hip propped on the trunk. His expression was a little pained as if he was uncomfortable even bringing this up. Tetsurou swallowed harshly.

"You probably didn't notice, but Hide, her kid, is here and I usually bring him back home and stay for lunch," Shouyou explained. "And when I mentioned you to her the other day, she insisted I bring you along..." Suddenly Shouyou looked up, alerted. "But don't feel obliged to accept, okay? It's just her trying to be nice, you don't have to go. God only knows how awkward you'd be feeling, she's my ex-wife after all."   

He was right. It would probably be awkward. And a little, or a lot, painful. But Tetsurou was curious.

_Curiosity killed the cat_ , a voice sounding scarily like Mattsun said in Tetsurou's head and he grimaced to himself.

"Do you want me to come?" Tetsurou asked, lifting his eyes to gaze into Shouyou's.

"Only if you want to," Shouyou replied. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. But maybe..." he paused for a moment, biting his lip as if he considered what to say next. "Maybe if you meet her, it'll help you trust me more?"

Tetsurou's memory unhelpfully supplied him with the flashback of the mess he'd made not that long ago and he felt his ears sting in shame. Shouyou was right. Maybe if he met Hitoka, he'd realize that she and Shouyou were nothing but friends now.

"Okay, let's do this," Tetsurou decided. He smiled reassuringly at Shouyou. "I'm in."

"You sure?" Shouyou asked one more time.

Tetsurou shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen?"

 

* * *

 

Well. He did not think that decision through, Tetsurou had to admit. The drive to Hitoka's house was short and Shouyou and Hideyoshi filled the silence with their chatter, so he didn't really have much time to consider his choice. Only when the car door closed after Tetsurou, did he realize what exactly he was getting himself into.

Shouyou's ex-wife.

His _sugar daddy's_ ex-wife.

Beads of sweat shone on his nape, which had nothing to do with volleyball or the warm, spring sun shining down on him. Without as much as knocking or ringing the doorbell, Hide burst into the house and Shouyou stepped in right after, holding the door open for Tetsurou. He almost stumbled over the threshold, but steadied himself before he could land face first into the neat line of shoes in the entryway.

"Are you okay?" Shouyou was at his elbow, holding it lightly as if he was afraid Tetsurou might trip again.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Tetsurou tried playing brave, but the smile he sent Shouyou wavered. "I'm just nervous."

Shouyou's eyes warmed over and the gentle look he sent Tetsurou melted some of his nerves away. Their peaceful moment was broken by a "Wash your hands first, Hide!" coming from somewhere inside the house and a few seconds later, they heard soft footsteps on the wooden floors. Tetsurou steeled himself and when Hitoka's small figure appeared in the door on the left, he was ready.

Or as ready as one ever could be when meeting your sugar daddy's ex-wife.

"Shouyou, hi," the woman smiled at Shouyou, who toed off his shoes and stepped up to kiss her on the cheek in greeting.

And then brown eyes, so different from Shouyou's, flicked to him and Tetsurou's nerves returned full force. But as it turned out, he needn't have been stressing so much. Hitoka looked him over and then smiled.

"So you must be Tetsurou-kun," she said, and Tetsurou blinked in surprise. "Shouyou has told me a lot about you."

Tetsurou chanced a glance at Shouyou who was pointedly avoiding his gaze. "Did he now?"

Hitoka grinned. "Oh, you have no idea. He's quite smitten with you."

"Hey," Shouyou interrupted, but his ex-wife only waved him off, which made him grumble incoherently under his breath.

"Come on in," she said to Tetsurou. "I made karaage."

"Thanks for having me," Tetsurou replied, setting his shoes down neatly and following after Shouyou and Hitoka into the dining room.

"Don't mention it," Hitoka smiled at him over her shoulder, innocent and cute, but her eyes were anything but. "I'm just doing this because I'm curious about you, so prepare for interrogation."

This was exactly what Tetsurou expected and he didn't really mind. From what he knew about Hitoka, she seemed like a very observant person, and if she and Shouyou were still close friends it must have meant she cared about him. It was no surprise she wanted to screen Tetsurou before he and Shouyou became even more involved.

At least that's what she thought. Because for them, there was nothing more serious than what they already had, was there? They were only a sugar baby and sugar daddy. Nothing more.

"But let's eat first," Hitoka ordered. "Shouyou, set the table, please."

"Yes, mom," Shouyou chimed, and yelped when Hitoka poked him in the side.

Five minutes later, everyone was at the table, Shouyou and Tetsurou sitting side by side and Hitoka and Hide in front of them. Kageyama was absent, apparently away at a match. Looking at the empty seat that must have belonged to him, Tetsurou realized that the family of a professional player didn't necessarily have it as easy as he had believed. Kageyama was away often, sometimes it was training, sometimes it was a match, but he was absent more than he was present. Suddenly, Tetsurou was glad Shouyou wasn't playing with Kageyama anymore, even if that made him a bad person for being happy about someone else's misfortune.

He took a bite of his fried chicken and it melted on his tongue, bringing back memories of childhood.

"Wow, this is amazing," Tetsurou said, smiling at Hitoka. "Tastes exactly like my mom's cooking."

"Thank you," Hitoka smiled at him, putting veggies on Hide's plate, who eyed them with clear distaste. "Oh, I forgot the sauce, excuse me for a second."

She stood up and left the room. Tetsurou grinned at Hide, who was stuffing his face with chicken only for as long as he could. Reaching over with his fork, Tetsurou needled on two carrots and a broccoli and before Hitoka returned, put them in his own mouth. He winked at Hide whose eyes were shining with awe as he stared at him with his mouth hanging open, half-chewed food and all. Shouyou snickered at them and Tetsurou elbowed him in the side, because Hitoka chose that moment to come back with the saucer in hand.

"What's so funny?" she asked and Shouyou coughed a little.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "We were just saying how nice playing vollayball was today."

"Oh, that's right!" she caught on. "You played in high school, right, Tetsurou-kun?"

"I did," he nodded. "I was a middle blocker, like Shouyou-san, actually."

"That's amazing," Hitoka smiled. "But with your height it must have been a piece of cake!"

Tetsurou snickered. "It definitely helped."

Surprising as it was, Tetsurou realized that Hitoka was a really nice woman. She smiled a lot, joked a lot, and radiated warmth in a way similar to Shouyou's. She could never come close to the vibrant light that shone in Shouyou's eyes, but Tetsurou relaxed in her presence, her open personality making his nerves settle. 

They quickly finished lunch, Tetsurou stealing some more of Hide's veggies when Hitoka wasn't paying attention. After they were done, everyone put their dishes together and when Hitoka got up to take them away, she locked gazes with Tetsurou, smiling. Her smile was a little different than before, it clearly said break time was over and it was the time to enter the ring.

Tetsurou swallowed harshly, his stomach tightening a little.

"Help me with these?" Hitoka asked, pointing at the dishes.

"Sure," he agreed, standing and picking up the plates, while she gathered the bowls.

"Hitoka..." Shouyou warned, ready to intervene, but his ex-wife only waved him off.

"Don't worry, you'll get him back in one piece," she said.

"That's not what–" Shouyou cut himself off and some secret message passed between him and Hitoka before he collapsed in his seat, resigned. His eyes trailed over to Tetsurou. "If you need help, scream."

Tetsurou would have normally laughed, but the intimidating way the tiny woman before him was smiling now was no laughing matter. He nodded at Shouyou.

"I'll remember that," he promised.

Hitoka led him to the kitchen. It was small, but definitely bigger than Shouyou's, which was no wonder since Hitoka seemed to actually use hers. He put the plates on the counter next to the sink.

"I wash, you dry?"

Hitoka pulled at the piece of cloth hanging on the handle of the oven door and handed it to Tetsurou who took it with a nod. They set down to work in silence, but Tetsurou could feel that the air was heavy with yet unasked questions. He was drying the second bowl, when he finally couldn't take it anymore.

"So, what do you want to know?" he asked. "You didn't bring me here just to help with the dishes."

Hitoka glanced up at him and smiled. "A smart cookie, aren't you?"

It felt like she was mocking him, but her smile had none of it, and Tetsurou frowned.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it," Hitoka clarified. "I don't know how much Shouyou has shared with you, but I hope you're smart enough to know not to hurt him. He'd been through enough."

"I know," Tetsurou agreed in a quiet voice. "I wouldn't want to hurt him either."

Hitoka looked at him for a long while, searching his face for something only she could recognize. Finally, she smiled at him and nodded, as if she found whatever it was to her satisfaction. Tetsurou wasn't even aware of how tense he'd been under her gaze, until the tension drained off him in relief at getting her approval.

"You met my husband before, right?" Hitoka turned back to the dishes in the sink.

"Twice, but we didn't talk," Tetsurou admitted.

"Well, you'll probably have the chance, still," Hitoka reassured him. "Shouyou and Tobio have been best friends since high school. But you must be careful, because between those two it gets physical pretty fast, even as old as they are," she warned.

"What do you mean physical?" Tetsurou frowned.

"Head grabbing, shoulder punching, digging elbows in the ribs, kicking," Hitoka listed in a tone of voice that made all these things seem like a grocery list. "I think once Shouyou even headbutted Tobio, but that was in college."

"And they are best friends?" Tetsurou had to make sure, because no matter what it didn't sound like it.

Hitoka grinned at him. "Like children, aren't they?"

She handed him the last bowl to dry and put the plates in the sink. Rubbing more of the washing soap onto the sponge, she continued talking.

"Shouyou's comfort food is meat buns, so if you mess up and need to apologize, just get him some and he should be as good as new," she advised. "He never gets cold and he's really warm all year round, but he does catch a cold every now and then. The best way to handle it is just to drug him until he falls asleep, because otherwise he'll insist it's nothing and will overwork himself. Also, his favourite flower is sunflower, if you ever feel like surprising him."

She winked at Tetsurou, who stopped drying the plate in his hands a while ago, staring down at Hitoka. She knew so much about Shouyou, so many things that Tetsurou had no idea about. It was no wonder, she was Shouyou's wife for years, but it still left a bitter feeling on Tetsurou's tongue.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" he asked, going back to drying the plate.

"Because I want him to be happy," she replied immediately, as if it was only natural for an ex-wife to care about her ex-husband. "And since he started seeing you, he's been the happiest I've seen him in years."

Sweetness choked down the bitterness in his mouth and Tetsurou swallowed heavily, feeling the warmth spill over his chest in a burst of emotions he couldn't quite name.

"Do _you_ want him to be happy?" Hitoka asked him, and Tetsurou didn't even have to think of the answer. His heart knew it, before the words had even rolled off his tongue.

"I do," he said. _I want to be_ the one _that makes him happy._

 

* * *

 

They spent the afternoon at Hitoka's place, and despite his previous worries, Shouyou was glad. Hitoka and Tetsurou got along splendidly, Hide was in love with Tetsurou ever since he'd helped him finish off his veggies, and Shouyou couldn't help but grin to himself as he watched them play. Everyone loved Tetsurou. It wasn't really surprising, seeing how Shouyou fell in love with him almost just as fast.

What was surprising though, was the strength of Shouyou's feelings. He somehow knew he was in love before this day, but sitting on Hitoka's couch and looking down at the back of Tetsurou's head as he sat cross-legged on the floor and got his ass handed to him by Hide in Mario Kart, Shouyou's chest hurt with the influx of affection.

"You really like him, don't you?"

Hitoka was sitting right next to him with a cup of tea in her hands. The steam rose up from it and blurred her face, but her eyes were warm and inquiring as she looked straight at Shouyou.

"I wouldn't have brought him here if I didn't," Shouyou replied, turning his cup by the ear.

"He's young," she continued speaking, as if Shouyou didn't already know that. "It'll do you well to have someone like him. Maybe he'll pull you out of your shell."

"I'm not a snail, Hitoka, please," Shouyou protested weakly, taking a sip of his tea.

The warm liquid spilled on his tongue and sent a wave of warmth through his body. He sighed. Hitoka was right. Ever since he'd met Tetsurou, he felt more alive than ever. He was going out, spending less time at work and more at home, and even more than that...

Looking at Tetsurou who was now cackling like mad and for once winning, Shouyou smiled. He wasn't lonely anymore.

"I'm glad you found him," Hitoka said.

She must have caught his gaze, but Shouyou didn't really care. This house was always a second home to him, and Hitoka would always be his family. He smiled at her from the corner of his mouth.

"I'm glad I found him, too," he agreed. "Or more like, I'm glad that whatever deity is looking over me has put him in my life."

Hitoka's eyes crinkled as she grinned. They would probably go back to watching the two on the floor in silence, but Tetsurou chose that moment to turn around, a pout on his face making him look no older than eighteen.

"Shouyou-san," he whined. "Hide's cheating!"

"Am not!" Hide countered from the side and with a small amused smile Shouyou watched how Tetsurou pounced on him.

"Yes, you are, you little weasel!" Tetsurou's hands dropped the controller and sneaked down to tickle Hide's sides. A few seconds later, Hide's rambunctious laughter and broken screams filled the air. "Just admit it, you were cheating!"

"I– I wasn't!" Hide insisted, trashing on the floor and trying to escape Tetsurou's hold. His cheeks were red with exertion from laughing, eyes gleaming with tears, but he continued laughing while Tetsurou mercilessly tickled a confession out of him. "Okay, fine, fine! I give! I was cheating!"

"Ha, I knew it!" Tetsurou sat back, looking over his shoulder at Shouyou triumphantly. "See, he was cheating!"

Hitoka was giggling behind her cup and Shouyou only snorted. Tetsurou could be so adorably childish... It was actually one of the qualities Shouyou loved about him so much. Tetsurou could be mature when needed, but his usually carefree disposition was something that brightened Shouyou's days. With a smile playing on his lips, Shouyou watched how Tetsurou ruffled Hide's hair.

And suddenly, his chest clenched at the wild thought that lodged itself in his head.

_I want to have kids with him._

He lost his grip on the cup and the porcelain clattered as his hand shook. Shouyou tightened his fingers around the ear, swallowing the clog of emotions that rose up his throat.

A second later he snorted to himself. There was no way that would ever happen. For one, they were both guys and while adoption was a possibility... came the second reason: Tetsurou wouldn't want that. After all, they were just together because of money. Shouyou's lips stretched in a self-deprecating smile.

He finished his tea and, checking the time, he said:

"We should probably get going."

It was half past two and Tetsurou had evening classes at four. It was a long while still, but Shouyou would rather not be the cause of Tetsurou's absence. Tetsurou seemed to share his opinion, because he obediently got up, ready to go. They exchanged their goodbyes, Tetsurou ruffled Hide's hair and Hide grinned at him brightly. To Shouyou's, and Tetsurou's as well, surprise Hitoka hugged them both tightly and wished them good luck with a conspicuous grin that made them both a little flustered.

Finally, when the door of his car sealed them shut, Shouyou allowed himself to fully relax. He didn't even notice he was tense, but now that they were left alone again, he could feel the tension draining off his body.

"That wasn't bad," he said, turning his head to glance at Tetsurou. "Right?"

Tetsurou smiled back, no hit of awkwardness. "I actually enjoyed myself, so definitely not bad."

"Good." Shouyou grinned back, starting up the engine. "So what do you think of Hitoka?"

"She's great," Tetsurou's answer was immediate. "I was a little intimidated, because of the whole 'your sugar daddy's ex-wife' thing, but she's a very nice person. Even gave me a few tips on how to handle you."

"Wha–" Shouyou choked, purposefully ignoring the stab of pain in his heart at the sugar daddy remark. "That little traitor... What did she tell you?"

Tetsurou chuckled, his smile growing into a smirk, while his eyes gleamed mischievously.

"That's a secret," he sing-songed and Shouyou pouted.

"Now that's not fair," he complained, stopping at a red light.

Tetsurou leaned over in his seat, the belt around his hips constraining, but it didn't stop him. He placed a quick kiss to Shouyou's cheek, which made Shouyou's skin dust with a pink blush.

"Let's just say I might have a surprise for you on our next date," Tetsurou said, grinning.

And Shouyou really didn't know what to say. So he just blushed even more and focused on driving back to Tetsurou's place, while his passenger hummed cheerfully (and off-key) the rest of the way. Shouyou parked in one of the free spaces on the parking lot and turned off the engine.

"I'll walk you up," he said, and Tetsurou only grinned at him, jumping out of the car.

As soon as it was locked, Tetsurou's hand found Shouyou's. It was big and warm, and not for the first time Shouyou found himself admiring the difference in build between them. He was always tiny, always small, but with the years he spent on volleyball his body wasn't weak. But Tetsurou was something else entirely. He was tall and handsome, sharp bones and features, hard muscle and raw strength. He was stunning and compared to him, Shouyou often felt old and... inadequate.

They climbed up the stairs to the third floor where Tetsurou's flat was. Right before the door, Tetsurou twirled around to face him.

"Want to come in?" he asked with a grin, but Shouyou only shook his head.

"You have classes, I'm not going to be your excuse for missing them," he said, watching how Tetsurou's lips pursed in a small pout.

"Why'd you have to remind me?" Tetsurou groaned. He pulled Shouyou closer by their locked hands, smirking down at him. "Then you have to make it up to me."

Before Shouyou could as much as open his mouth to reply, Tetsurou's head dipped down, pressing their lips together. Shouyou responded to the kiss, climbing a bit on his toes to make it easier on Tetsurou's neck. Their hands came apart and Shouyou lifted his to Tetsurou's messy hair, while Tetsurou pulled him closer by the hips, embracing him with both arms. Lips on lips, breathing as one, Shouyou allowed Tetsurou's tongue to push into his mouth. He half moaned when their tongues rubbed together. It was sweet, _sweet as sugar_ , and Shouyou felt how his throat tightened.

He pulled away, eyes closed and head bowed down. His hand slid out of Tetsurou's hair and down to his chest to rest against his heart. His own panged painfully in a tune full of regret and despair.

"I can't do this," Shouyou whispered. He lifted his head slightly, just enough to glance Tetsurou in the eye. "We should end this, I can't do this anymore."

It hurt to say it. Shouyou took a deep breath, but it only served to make him lightheaded. The heaviness in his chest didn't disappear and he could feel the bitterness of loneliness already settling on his tongue.

But what hurt the most was Tetsurou's expression. He was stunned, watching Shouyou in a mixture of shock and disbelief, his eyes wide and mouth open. When he finally processed what it was that Shouyou was saying, the pain and hurt shining from his golden eyes knocked the breath out of Shouyou's lungs.

"Why?" Tetsurou's voice was shaky, almost as if he couldn't control his emotions. "Why now? Wasn't everything fine till just now? What happened?"

Shouyou took a step back, letting both his hands fall to his sides. It was better to admit it now and get this over with. He'd have his heart broken, but at least his conscience would be clean. And maybe, maybe Tetsurou would not be disgusted with him and they would be able to see each other again...

_As if_ , Shouyou smiled bitterly.

"I'm in love with you," he said, too scared to look at Tetsurou directly. "And I can't keep this up anymore. I'm sorr–"

He wasn't allowed to finish. Tetsurou stepped up to him in one long stride, pulled his face up and kissed him with more passion than Shouyou had ever seen from him. His body responded to the kiss on its own, clinging to the last memories he'd be able to make. It didn't last long though, and when Tetsurou pulled back, he leaned his forehead on Shouyou's, gazing down into his eyes. Gold was glowing bright and warm, and Shouyou's heart clenched in his chest.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to hear those words," Tetsurou said and Shouyou looked at him in utter confusion. Tetsurou's thumbs caressed the sides of Shouyou's face tenderly. "I was worrying so much about what you'd do if you ever found out about my feelings, but I guess I was just being a coward, wasn't I?"

Shouyou's breathing hitched when he finally pieced it all together. With round in shock eyes he gazed at Tetsurou.

"So you mean...?" he didn't dare finish, but Tetsurou only smiled at him affectionately and did it for him.

"Yeah," Tetsurou said. "I'm in love with you, too."

Shouyou's world burst into full colour: blinding, overwhelming and spectacular. The only thing grounding him in the dimly-lit corridor was Tetsurou's soft smile and his warm hands on his face, but that was okay. That was all Shouyou needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and they lived happily ever after... except not *ugly laughter*


	11. Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I made yall sweat last time so here, have some floof ;3c

Shouyou was walking on cloud nine. He wasn't actually walking per se, but the feeling tingling underneath his skin was so pleasant, he could have actually died and went straight to heaven for all he knew. Tetsurou was lying with him on the couch, curled into his side and holding onto him like he never wanted to let go. From time to time he pressed small kisses to where his face was thrust against Shouyou's shoulder – neck, collarbone, throat – and Shouyou's blood boiled in a reminder that this, them, _it was real now_.

Breathing in deep the scent of Tetsurou's shampoo, a soothing chamomile, Shouyou tugged at a lone dark strand of hair. Tetsurou lifted his head up, his eyes warm and molten gold, and Shouyou knew that he would never love another colour as much in his entire life. He brought their faces closer and kissed Tetsurou's lips. It was light and unhurried, since the earlier joy and desperate passion had already been satiated as soon as they stepped a foot into Tetsurou's flat. Soft caresses were enough now, a tender brush of lips here, a small, gentle bite there, and Shouyou's heart swell in his chest with all the love he could barely contain.

Holding Tetsurou's face up to look at him properly, Shouyou traced every inch of his face with his eyes. Tetsurou's forehead which was quite high, but always hidden by the messy hair falling into his eyes. His eyebrows which were sharp and surprisingly even, though it was clear that Tetsurou didn't care about that. His nose, which was a little perky, but small and incredibly cute – Shouyou leaned down to kiss the tip of it, making Tetsurou huff out a little laugh. His lips were stretched in a smile, the corners of his mouth curled and spreading his cheeks. The cheekbones were hidden behind a tiny blush, the hue a beautiful contrast to Tetsurou's suntanned skin.

Shouyou let his thumb caress one of Tetsurou's cheeks, sliding it down to the sharp chin.

He was beautiful, in that youthful sort of beauty that made you wish for the years that had long since passed. Shouyou's eyes returned to the golden gaze that was now trained on him with unhidden amusement and a fragile kind of softness, and Shouyou's heart melted yet another time. He didn't know how many it made, but Tetsurou seemed to be a pro at that.

Tetsurou leaned in to kiss him again and Shouyou revelled in the feel of his lips, a bit chapped and bitten on the inside, but still incredibly alluring and fitting against his as if they were two pieces of the same thing – broken apart before, but now brought together again into a perfect whole.

"I'm going to miss the money," Tetsurou said quietly once they parted, tracing a finger on Shouyou's lips. "But I definitely wouldn't trade this for anything."

Shouyou took his hand and pressed a kiss to the open palm, eyes never leaving Tetsurou's.

"You know that I don't mind buying you things?" he asked, but it was only a rhetorical question. "If you ever need anything, just let me know."

"No way," Tetsurou protested and he actually looked a little offended at that, which made Shouyou frown. "If we're going to date for real, then I can't take money from my boyfriend. Relationships don't work like that, Shouyou-san."

Shouyou closed his eyes briefly. It was such an idealistic thing to say. He smiled a little.

"Okay," he agreed to pacify Tetsurou, running a soothing hand over his back. Only when Tetsurou's body relaxed against him once more, did Shouyou continue: "But if you ever need money for anything, come to me. I don't want you to overwork yourself, or worse... get a new sugar daddy."

He was only half-teasing, but the way Tetsurou pulled back as if burned was no laughing matter. Tetsurou's golden eyes darkened, the hurt inside them clearly visible. He sat up, back tense and turned to Shouyou, who wanted to kick himself in the mouth for ever letting the words roll off his tongue. He was drunk on happiness and too careless, Shouyou cursed himself in the safety of his mind.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, before Tetsurou could even say anything. "That was inappropriate. I know you'd never do something like that. I trust you."

He sat up as well, touching Tetsurou's shoulder lightly to get his attention. When Tetsurou looked at him, Shouyou could see how his lips were pursed in a frown, the heaviness hanging around him like a storm cloud, and his heart panged against his ribcage in guilt.

"This is always going to hang between us, isn't it?" Tetsurou asked in a hushed voice, his shoulders dropping.

"It won't," Shouyou decided, resolved. "I won't let it."

Tetsurou sent him a disbelieving glance and Shouyou had to admit that he might have already fucked up and they've been together for what? Two hours? He cringed.

"Okay, maybe I didn't handle that too well," he corrected. "But I promise you that I don't care about how we met. I don't care about the money. God knows I have more than enough of it from the pro contract I signed back when I still played and nothing to spend it on."

He gently took Tetsurou's hand and locked their fingers together.

"You're the best thing that's happened to me in years, Tetsurou," Shouyou admitted. "I don't care about the past, it's done and over with. What I care about is the future. And I want to spend it with you. Or, at least, for as long as you'll have me."

Tetsurou's fingers squeezed his lightly and the gleam in the golden eyes returned as Tetsurou smiled. It was a small smile, vulnerable and beautiful, and Shouyou found himself mesmerized by it. Until Tetsurou snickered and his lips quirked into a sharper smirk.

"So where's the ring?" he asked playfully. "That was a fine proposal, though as I've said before: no can do without the ring."

Shouyou rolled his eyes, but he was now smiling too. Trust this brat to turn his words into a joke. But deep in the gaze of Tetsurou's eyes, he could see that he took what Shouyou had said to heart. And that was enough, even though Shouyou didn't get an answer – for now, it was more than enough.

"We've been together for two hours and you already want a ring?" Shouyou teased back. "Quite demanding, aren't you?"

Tetsurou's grin only widened. "Well, you've spoiled me rotten, so it's all your fault, Shouyou-san."

"Oh yes, blame it all on me, why don't you," Shouyou grumbled, but when Tetsurou leaned over to kiss him, his lips pressed to a smile that Shouyou couldn't contain.

Falling back onto the couch and pulling Tetsurou with him, Shouyou couldn't help but imagine a gold band on one of Tetsurou's fingers. His cheeks flushed a little, but it could have been just as well from the way Tetsurou hooked his leg over Shouyou's hips to straddle him, or the tongue that was venturing into his mouth, welcome and needed. Seconds later, the only thing Shouyou could think of was the heat of Tetsurou's skin and the pleasure coursing through his veins, making his heart beat wildly in his chest.

 

* * *

 

After the very eventful Saturday they haven't seen each other till Friday night. Shouyou was busy with work and Tetsurou had assignments to finish, so they resorted to brief phone calls during their breaks and occasional texts here and there. But with the weekend rolling up, Shouyou was more impatient to see Tetsurou again than he'd expected. He called him the day bfore, checking if Tetsurou could find some free time and almost letting a whoop of joy at the confirmation he got.

The whole day Shouyou was grinning brightly at everyone, receiving looks as if people thought he suddenly went crazy. And well, maybe he did. He was in love, after all.

At seven he put on his suit, leaving the vest and the tie at home, and drove to Tetsurou's place. He hoped for a kiss in greeting as he rang the doorbell of Tetsurou's flat, but when the door burst open and a grinning Tetsurou swooped him into a dizzyingly breathtaking lip-lock, Shouyou knew that this date was going to be special and soooo much better than he could have dreamed.

"Hello to you, too," Shouyou mumbled against Tetsurou's lips, his breathing quicker than normal once they finally parted.

His hands were resting on Tetsurou's biceps, while Tetsurou's arms were holding him close around the waist. He was wearing the same red shirt Shouyou had got him, but he swapped his suit pants for black jeans and as Shouyou discreetly ogled him from head to toe, he had to admit they made a great fit.

Shouyou wouldn't mind spending the rest of the night like this, in Tetsurou's arms, kissing, but today was special. Today was their first date as a couple. It had to be _perfect_.

"Ready?" he asked, looking into Tetsurou's vibrant eyes.

"I was born ready," Tetsurou grinned down at him and Shouyou fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Instead, he climbed to his tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to Tetsurou's cheeky mouth. It probably would have escalated into something neither of them could, or wanted to, stop, but a voice from inside the flat made them both twitch in surprise, breaking apart.

"Hey, hey, hey! No spit-swapping in the hallway!"

Tetsurou whipped around faster than Shouyou could blink, his face pulled in an annoyed scowl.

"Shut up, you noisy owl!" he shouted back. "Do I need to bring up the kitchen incident again?"

There was a strangled whine, louder than before, and the same voice replied: "No, anything but that! No kitchen incident, bro!"

A smirk on Tetsurou's face was unmistakable and Shouyou lifted an eyebrow, mouthing 'kitchen incident' at him, but Tetsurou only shook his head. Clearly it was something he thought Shouyou didn't want to know about, and frankly, Shouyou felt the same. He had enough of his own wild college stories to know that some were better off buried deep in the human memory.

Loud footsteps came from inside the flat and finally Shouyou was able to see the owner of the loud voice – another tall as a tree guy, probably Tetsurou's age, with hair that stood up in a completely unnatural way. But the way it was styled wasn't the first thing that caught Shouyou's attention. It was kind of like figuring out a zebra: he wasn't sure if it was white with black roots, or black with white highlights at the top. Considering that asking might be rude, who knew what was appropriate with youth these days, Shouyou silently watched the man come closer.

The roommate, because that's who Shouyou believed it was, swerved next to Tetsurou on his white socks and stopped by Shouyou's side, grinning brightly down at him.

"So you must be the infamous boyfriend!" he proclaimed, and peeved, Shouyou nodded. "You're so tiny, that's cute!"

Shouyou really didn't know what to say to that. He should be offended, but the warmth and sheer excitement radiating from the man made him speechless. It was a good thing Tetsurou was with him, because he immediately set out to do damage control.

"Oh God, Bo, you can't just tell people they're tiny," Tetsurou ran a hand over his face, glancing at Shouyou apologetically between his fingers. "Why are you even here? Go back inside."

"Eh?!" the roommate, Bo, apparently, exclaimed. "But I wanted to meet your boyfriend, you never stop talking about him!"

Shouyou's lips quirked in a smirk when Tetsurou's face reddened.

"Does he really?" he asked, immensely pleased by the fact.

"You've no idea," Bo answered with a wink. "I'm Bokuto Koutarou, by the way."

He offered Shouyou a hand to shake, which he firmly grasped and grinned. "Hinata Shouyou."

It was Tetsurou's turn to give a strangled whine. Before Shouyou could as much as turn to look at him, Tetsurou was already behind Bokuto's back, pushing him inside the flat and trying to close the door on him.

"You are not ruining this evening for me, Bo," Tetsurou threatened, struggling to push his resisting friend over the threshold.

"I would never!" Bokuto replied, mockingly offended. "I'm only here to meet the love of your life."

Tetsurou gave a pitchy moan in embarrassment and Shouyou had to muffle his snickers with his hand. It seemed like Tetsurou wasn't joking when he warned Shouyou before that around Bokuto he behaved much more immature, but somehow Shouyou couldn't think of it as anything other than cute.

Tetsurou gave him a desperate look and Shouyou only shrugged, grinning. He was having fun, so what?

"Traitor," Tetsurou mouthed at him and Shouyou blew him a kiss at which Tetsurou sniffed and looked away.

Warmth settled in Shouyou's chest. If he ever had any doubts that he was in love with Tetsurou, he'd have none now. Watching his boyfriend struggle with Bokuto, Shouyou knew he'd never trade this for anything else.

"Okay, okay, I'm going," Bokuto said suddenly and when he moved, Tetsurou stumbled a little when the force pushing back against him disappeared. "Have fun you two! Stay safe! Remember about protection! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"Shut up already!" Tetsurou banged shut the door in Bokuto's face.

They heard a muffled "Rude, bro!" from inside, but they paid no attention to it anymore. Tetsurou came close, arms embracing Shouyou in the middle and he wound down, hugging him tight – or rather laying himself on Shouyou as if all energy has left him once the door to his flat had closed.

Shouyou chuckled, holding him up and patting his back sympathetically.

"Your friend seems nice," Shouyou commented. "And lively."

Tetsurou only groaned in his shoulder. "Can we please forget this ever happened?"

"I doubt I can forget him calling me 'the love of your life'," Shouyou teased and Tetsurou groaned again.

"I want to die," Tetsurou said in a dead voice, which only made Shouyou snicker.

"Now that would be a very dull first date, don't you think?" he asked.

Tetsurou shifted and pulled up, looming over Shouyou. "Hmm, you may be right. I wouldn't want you to get bored with me."

Shouyou smiled up at him, a reply of "I doubt you could make it happen, even if you tried," ready on his tongue, but Tetsurou chose that moment to lean down and kiss him again. All the words were lost in Shouyou's mind as he let himself be pulled up to his toes, while his mouth was being thoroughly ravished.

Once they parted, Shouyou butted his nose against Tetsurou's.

"Come on, let's go before our reservation expires," he said.

Holding hands, they made it to Shouyou's car and in a gentlemanly manner Shouyou opened the door for Tetsurou. It got him another short kiss when Tetsurou leaned over the door, right before he got in. Shouyou couldn't help the small skip in his steps as he rounded the front of the car to take his seat behind the wheel.

The engine hummed as they drove to the restaurant. It was a different one than before, a place where Shouyou believed they would be a lot more comfortable than among the marble and gold. The air was warm and smelled sweetly of spring in full bloom, as it flew in from the window that Tetsurou cracked open on his side. In soft voices they both complained about their respectable workload, Tetsurou whining about all the assignments he had to prepare before the exams, and Shouyou offered his sympathies as he groaned about his articles in return.

In twenty minutes they made it to the restaurant. Shouyou parked in one of the free spots. He shrugged off his jacket, because it was already too hot for it, even though it was almost night time, and left it on the backseat.

"Oh," Tetsurou said when he noticed the sign with the restaurant's name. "This is my parent's favourite restaurant. We used to come here for all the special events."

Shouyou reached for his hand. "Are you okay with coming here? We can always pick some other place."

"No, it's fine," Tetsurou smiled at him, shrugging. "It's not like they're going to be here today."

Except once they entered and were led to their table by one of the waiters, Shouyou's fingers were squeezed tightly in Tetsurou's hand and he could see how every muscle in his boyfriend's body wound up in dread. A soft "Oh, fuck," left Tetsurou's mouth as he looked somewhere behind Shouyou's shoulder. Shouyou followed his gaze and noticed a couple sitting at a table next to the window. They seemed to be older than Shouyou, maybe five or more years. The woman's hair was a dark, coal-like black as it waved down her back in loose curls, but it was the man's eyes that caught Shouyou unprepared. Because they were just as golden as Tetsurou's, only harsher and colder, and suddenly Shouyou was glad that Tetsurou didn't share those qualities with his father.

"Tetsurou!" the woman waved to them, smiling a little.

Shouyou could feel how Tetsurou tensed up even more next to him, but he only locked their fingers together. Glancing up at him, he noticed the paleness of Tetsurou's face. Shouyou's gut clenched tight. All he wanted to do in that moment was to take Tetsurou away from there, far, far away and never let him meet his parent again, but... They were his parents. And Shouyou had no right to do that.

He swallowed his own doubts and fears.

"Come on, let's say hi," he said quietly, pulling Tetsurou gently towards the couple's table.  

"Are you sure?" Tetsurou asked back, his voice a little unsteady.

"They're your parents," Shouyou smiled up at him, wishing with all his might to ease up Tetsurou's nerves. "It'd be rude if we didn't."

They stopped next to the table and Tetsurou's mom stood up to hug her son and kiss his cheek. Shouyou let go of his hand, watching the mother and son exchange greetings. It seemed like they had a pretty good relationship, and it let Shouyou breathe a little easier in relief.

Until Tetsurou's mom turned to him, questions bright in her green eyes.

"And who might this be?" she asked.

Without waiting for Tetsurou to introduce him, Shouyou smiled and stepped forward.

"My name is Hinata Shouyou. It is a real pleasure to meet you."

He offered his hand and when Tetsurou's mother took it, he bowed down and pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles. When he straightened up again, he could see the smile on her face and the tiniest hints of a blush on her cheeks. He'd count that as a win.

"Kuroo Ayane," she introduced herself. "It's nice to meet you as well, Hinata-san."

"Please, call me Shouyou," he insisted and she nodded, still smiling.

"And?" a gruff voice from the side interrupted, and Shouyou immediately noticed how Tetsurou's shoulders straightened. "Who are you?"

Shouyou wasn't sure how to answer that, but he didn't need to. Tetsurou turned his head to look his father square in the eye, his own hardening enough to match the other gold.

"He's my boyfriend, dad," he said in a tight voice.

Shouyou would never expect to feel so good about hearing those words, but in that moment nothing else mattered to him. He took Tetsurou's hand, noticing how it was clenched in a fist, and softly he uncurled his fingers before slipping his own between them. He gave Tetsurou's hand a light squeeze, wordlessly letting him know that he was there for him.

"A boyfriend, huh?"

The hard golden gaze turned on Shouyou's and he shivered lightly under its intensity. Tetsurou's father was intimidating, alright. But Shouyou wasn't a kid, he was a grownup man and he won't be cowed by a man almost his age. No matter if it was his boyfriend's father or not.

Before he could gather his wits to answer, though, Tetsurou's mom interjected with a smile:

"How about you two join us? We can pull two chairs and have dinner together."

Tetsurou's fingers tightened on his painfully, and Shouyou forced a smile as he turned to Tetsurou's mother.

"Thank you for the invitation, Kuroo-san," he replied, running his thumb over Tetsurou's cold knuckles calmingly. "But I only have limited time with Tetsurou because of my work, so I'd rather spend this evening alone with him. Maybe next time, if you'll still have me."

The woman seemed to be surprised, but she smiled at him knowingly and only nodded her agreement.

"We'd be happy to have you over anytime, Shouyou-kun," she said.

"If you'll excuse us then, we have a table to get to," Shouyou said in farewell, smiling at Tetsurou's mom and nodding to his father.

Tetsurou seemed to be mute for a while now, as if just that one sentence he said to his father exhausted all his courage for the evening. Pulling him away from the table, Shouyou navigated towards their own. The further behind they left his parents, the more Tetsurou seemed to unwind until the tension left his body fully.

"Are you okay?" Shouyou asked quietly.

"Yeah," Tetsurou replied, just as quietly. "Yeah, I'm fine."

They found their table and thankfully, it was way off on the other side of the room, hidden behind a huge potted plant, which seemed to return Tetsurou his spunk. He pulled at Shouyou's hand, it was impossible to see them both behind the plant and leaned down to catch Shouyou's lips in a soft, sweet kiss. Shouyou could taste the tremble of his lips, but when Tetsurou leaned back, his eyes were glowing with warm affection and so much adoration that Shouyou felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze.

"You're amazing, Shouyou-san," Tetsurou said a little awed.

"No, I'm not," Shouyou returned, ready to argue, but Tetsurou only kissed him again to shut him up.

"Yes, you are." And he kissed him again. "You're amazing, and I love you."

Feeling the flush creep up his neck, Shouyou opened his mouth to ask Tetsurou, beg even, to stop, but Tetsurou just leaned down again and kissed him for the fourth time. Melting into his arms, Shouyou found his head empty of arguments, and frankly, he forgot what he was even fighting against.

So when they parted again and Tetsurou smiled at him, all warmth and soft affection in his gaze, Shouyou couldn't help but smile back.

 

* * *

 

"So..." Tetsurou started, looking at the screen instead of Shouyou.

They were resting together on the couch in Shouyou's living room, watching some random movie on TV. They were actually talking more than watching, but every now and then a scene made them hush over in mild interest. It wasn't a great movie, but from time to time you had to watch something shitty to fully appreciate the good ones. It also helped a lot to fuel the conversation, so after a few snide comments about the acting and the screenplay, Tetsurou set out to bring up the subject he really wanted to speak about.

"Bokuto might have tattled and now my friends are insisting, keyword _insisting_ ," he repeated with more force on the word, "that I let them meet you."

Shouyou chuckled, not really as bothered by the news as Tetsurou believed he should be.

"When and where?" he asked.

"You're going along with this?" Tetsurou returned, surprised, finally turning to look at Shouyou. Shouyou only shrugged.

"You met my friends, so it's only fair that I meet yours as well," he said. "Unless you don't want me to?"

"I–" Tetsurou blinked. "No, no, I mean, I'm just... afraid they'll scare you away?"

And then he blinked some more, because Shouyou was now openly laughing at him and really, it wasn't _that_ funny. It wasn't funny at all, actually. If only Shouyou knew what kind of trouble Bokuto, Mattsun and Makki could get into together, he wouldn't be laughing. He'd be terrified for his own hide.

Shouyou must have noticed Tetsurou's unamused face since he stopped laughing. He shifted closer, pulling himself up to Tetsurou's height.

"No one can scare me away from you, you don't have to worry," he said and Tetsurou could feel the warmth blossom in his heart.

Shouyou was always doing this. He had those moments when he suddenly became the most sappy and cheesily romantic guy and somehow it always made Tetsurou feel like he was made of jelly. A warmed up in the sun jelly that was already melting but still solid enough to shake vulnerably at the onslaught of feelings. Tetsurou would say he hated it, but he'd be lying. He loved it. To pieces.

He leaned in and stole a kiss from Shouyou's lips.

"Just don't let yourself get intimidated, okay?" he begged. It'd be fucked up if after everything they've been through his friends managed to prove to Shouyou that dating Tetsurou was not such a good idea after all.

Shouyou only smiled, "I promise."

But even with that, Tetsurou couldn't relax. He stressed over it for days, until finally it was Saturday when the dreaded meeting was supposed to take place. Bokuto was hanging all around him, chattering away about how much he couldn't wait to get to know Shouyou and Tetsurou was pretty sure he'd get drunk in five minutes after entering the bar, just to escape Bokuto's annoying hooting.

They arrived together at his workplace right about the time Mattsun and Makki's shift was ending. Kenma showed up five minutes later and they all grabbed a table together. Tetsurou kept checking the time on his phone impatiently, a little scared and a little thankful that Shouyou was running late, but when the white numbers of the clock turned into 8:34 Tetsurou began to worry. It wasn't like Shouyou to be so late without letting him know something was wrong.

Tetsurou was about to call him when his phone vibrated in his hand as a text from Shouyou came through.

"Did we scare the boyfriend away already?" Mattsun teased. "Come on, we didn't even try for real yet!"

Tetsurou was too busy reading to glare at him properly.

" _Sorry, I'll be late. Hide broke a leg so I had to drive him and Hitoka to the hospital because Kageyama's out of town. Stall for me?_ "

Relief made Tetsurou relax a little as he typed " _is hide okay?_ " and clicked send. He then turned to his friends who waited for an explanation. Only Kenma was uninterested, playing a game on his phone.

"He had to take his godson to the hospital, he broke a leg," Tetsurou said.

Various expressions of sympathy passed through everyone's faces and Tetsurou smiled a little. No matter how much they all acted like jerks, they were truly nice people. In a better mood, he read the next text from Shouyou, which assured him that Hide will be just fine and that he'll make it to the bar around nine. Sending Shouyou a heart emoticon, Tetsurou joined in on the conversation at the table.

They all decided to eat something, because drinking on an empty stomach was a huge no-no. The food came right when Shouyou did, and ignoring his plate of spaghetti, Tetsurou skipped towards Shouyou, who smiled, seeing him approach. He greeted Shouyou with a short kiss, taking his hand in his sweaty one and leading him to their table.

"Are you okay?" Shouyou asked over the sound of the music.

"Just nervous," Tetsurou answered with a somewhat shaky smile.

"Don't be." Shouyou squeezed his hand. "People love me." 

He winked at Tetsurou, smiling brightly and Tetsurou really had no trouble believing that. Shouyou _was_ lovable, very much so. They stopped at the table and taking a deep breath, Tetsurou introduced.

"So... This is the boyfriend."

Shouyou lifted his hand in greeting, still smiling.

Mattsun put a hand over his heart in pretended shock.

Makki's mouth made a perfect o, pieces of his half-chewed lasagne clearly visible from afar.

Kenma lifted his head from his pepperoni pizza, lips quirking in a tiny smile.

But the worst was when Bokuto's eyes widened just as he was about to say something, choking on a piece of tomato from his salad. Mattsun reacted quickly, before Bokuto could grow red in the face from the exertion, and pumped Bokuto's back powerfully a few times. The offending piece of vegetable flew out of Bokuto's mouth, rolled over the table and landed right in the middle.

Everyone was now silent in dread and Tetsurou felt like dying of embarrassment would be less painful than this.

"Oh my god," Tetsurou groaned and hid his face in Shouyou's shoulder.

Makki started cackling and Mattsun's chuckles soon joined him, while Kenma looked positively disgusted. This was exactly what Tetsurou was afraid of, exactly what he was trying to save Shouyou from.

"Well, that was certainly an unforgettable first impression," Shouyou commented lightly and Tetsurou just wanted to be buried alive.

"Bokuto, you're the master," Makki wiped the tears away from his eyes, his cheeks splotched red from laughing. "I bow before thee."

He did just that, making Mattsun wheeze as he started laughing again. Bokuto looked as if he didn't know whether to be ashamed or pleased, so he opted for enthusiastic instead and turned to Shouyou with a grin.

"Hinata, was it? We met back at our place," he said.

"Yes," Shouyou smiled pleasantly. "Hinata Shouyou. It's nice to meet you all properly."

Finally, they sat down and after a short introduction, Tetsurou looked at his spaghetti in disgust. He really wasn't hungry anymore. Not when his life was about to be ruined by his friends. He pushed his plate over to Shouyou, who lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Lady and the Tramp?" Shouyou asked and Tetsurou flushed a little when he got the reference.

"More like the lady, the tramp and three idiots," he grumbled.

"My, my, did someone step on the kitten's tail?" Mattsun teased.

"The kitten?" Shouyou caught up, looking from Mattsun to Tetsurou and really, where was Death and why was he slacking off?

"Oh, you gotta hear this one," Mattsun leaned on the table, his food forgotten as he smirked at Tetsurou, who only groaned and covered his face with his hands as if that could save him. "So back when Kuroo was starting to work here..."

And then he told the whole story about how a stray mama cat followed Tetsurou to work every day for about a month, how she continued bringing dead animals to the doorstep and how whenever he picked her up, she tried to groom his hair. It was hilarious alright, but it happened to _him_ , which made it the worst fucking thing to tell your boyfriend. And Mattsun knew that, the bastard.

"He was heartbroken when we had to chase her away because she was bothering the customers," Mattsun finished, giving a fake sigh. "He probably got used to having mama around to groom his hair every day."

"That's actually pretty cute," Shouyou smiled, and if it wasn't for that smile, Tetsurou would probably just drag him away from there and never ever let his friends see him again.

"He used to bring at least one cat a week to school, too," Kenma commented.

"Not you too, Kenma!" Tetsurou complained.

That was it, it was his day to die. Yup.

"Speaking of schools," Bokuto cut in. "Where did you go to school, Hinata? I swear you look familiar..."

"Hey, be a little more respectful," Tetsurou frowned, but Shouyou waved it off.

"It's fine," he said. "In fact, just call me Shouyou, it'd be easier that way. And I doubt you've seen me in any school, I finished high school almost twenty years ago."

"Wait," Makki's voice was careful. "How old are you?"

"Thirty five," Shouyou winked at him.

"Thirty six soon," Kenma supplied helpfully, earning a soft "hey!" from Shouyou.

A strangled sound left Bokuto's mouth. "No way! You don't look that old!"

Shouyou laughed. "Thanks."

"Who knew Kuroo would be into older man," Mattsun hummed into his coke.

"Kenma did, actually," Tetsurou smirked, resisting the childish urge to stick his tongue at his friend. "He's the one that got us together."

"Now that is a story I want to hear," Makki put his elbows on the table, looking at him expectantly with brightly shining eyes that urged him to spill all the Juicy details. The ones with the capital J.

So together they told the story of how they met, skipping the money exchange part, but staying true to everything else that happened. Now that Tetsurou was listening to it all, it seemed like so much trouble could have been avoided if they were just open with their feelings from the start. He smiled to himself a little, though, because in the end there was no need to change the past. They were here, they were together, they were happy. That was all that mattered.

The first round of drinks came and gone, the second as well and by the third, Tetsurou definitely needed to pee. But more than that, he was scared to leave Shouyou alone with his vultures of friends. They avoided the more personal topics, but Tetsurou was pretty sure that once he leaves, the interrogation will start in full. The pressure on his bladder grew and grew though, and finally, after his fourth drink, he stood up. A little tipsy, he announced the bathroom break, threatened his friends and slunk away towards the toilets.

Once he was done, he came back as fast as he could, terrified of what he'd find there, but to his surprise everything seemed to be well. Shouyou and Bokuto were talking and laughing together, a bit drunk, a bit flushed, but cheerful. Tetsurou smiled to himself, slipping into his seat. Maybe this wasn't such a disastrous evening.

He caught Shouyou's gaze – glazed with alcohol, but warm and happy – and Tetsurou felt the giddy, drunk joy sizzle in his veins.

Maybe dying of shame every now and then wouldn't be so bad, after all. As long as he got to see Shouyou smile like he was his whole world, Tetsurou wouldn't mind that. Not one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only 2 chapters left aaaHHHHHHHH


	12. Hotline Bling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering about the title, yes, it's from where you think it is, and yes, it has something to do with this chapter ;3c it's one of the longest chaps actually, with a tinsy bit of drama, so I hope you'll enjoy it uwu)b

No matter how many years of school Tetsurou survived, one thing was true for each and every single one of them: exams were painful, but finals... oh, finals were hell. But he never truly understood how much of a hassle scheduling his exams, work, study time _and_ a boyfriend on top of that could be, until it bit him right in the ass, almost making him collapse from the lack of sleep (and probably food) after climbing the stairs to his third floor flat as if it was Mt. Everest instead of his usual apartment building. Laying half-dead on his bed – fully clothed because he was too tired to move, and unable to fall asleep because he didn't even know anymore if he was hungry or if he wanted to puke his guts out – Tetsurou considered cutting off the first thing he could, his work.

Taking a break for two weeks shouldn't be such a great deal, he hoped. But even after asking his boss for a non-paid leave, he still barely tied everything together in the mere twenty four hours the day had. As much as he tried to avoid it, the next thing that suffered because of his exams was his relationship.

Even when he and Shouyou met, Tetsurou was exhausted and only able to snuggle into Shouyou's side before he was out cold, sleeping like the dead. It was amusing the first time, but the more it happened, the more the tiny wrinkles around Shouyou's mouth deepened, and it hurt to watch him worry needlessly like that. When Shouyou insisted that Tetsurou stays home and gets some real sleep instead of meeting with him, Tetsurou couldn't even protest. He _was_ exhausted.

But even when he stopped seeing Shouyou for all of the last week, he didn't sleep much. Frankly, he didn't have where to sleep. Books and notes were scattered across his bed, crumbled pieces of paper migrating over the floor like tumbleweed in the wind. Tetsurou's fingers seemed to be forever stained with pen ink, but he didn't care enough to clean it off. His eyes were dry from lack of sleep and constant rereading of notes and fragments of the heavy law books; his mind swirling with all the Latin and technical vocabulary even when he was trying to nap.

Two exams before the end of his finals he was finally feeling the general apathy settling in. He couldn't muster any energy to feel stressed anymore, and yet, his gut still clenched at the thought of what his father would say if he failed. So he studied even more, because it was better than having to explain to his father why he had to retake an exam.

Tetsurou was currently sitting on the floor of his room with his back propped against the side of his cluttered bed and the book on immigration law in his lap, half dozing off, half reading, when the doorbell made him jump awake. Standing up with a groan – when did his legs fall asleep? – Tetsurou wobbled to the door. And when he opened it, squinting, he was pretty sure he was hallucinating.

"What..." his voice broke and he had to clear his throat to give some strength to it. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you, of course," Shouyou replied, smiling. He didn't wait for Tetsurou to ask him inside, coming in and closing the door after himself, while Tetsurou stared at him dumbly. "I asked Bokuto if you're home and so, here I am," Shouyou's grin widened. "With takeout."

He lifted a bag he was holding in one of his hands and the smell of fresh meat buns made Tetsurou's stomach growl. He didn't even realize he was hungry, but now that there was food before him, he was starving. Still, he looked at Shouyou in slight shock for a second longer.

"I have the best boyfriend ever," he said, stepping closer while Shouyou chuckled.

The kiss was brief, even though Tetsurou wanted to properly show Shouyou his appreciation, but his stomach continued growling, so after a light brush of lips, he stole the bag from Shouyou's hand and ran off to the kitchen to bring some plates. Shouyou's soft laughter followed him, making Tetsurou smile carelessly for the first time in days.

They settled on the couch, Tetsurou's thigh pressed against Shouyou's as if he was starved for contact (and maybe he was, it's been a week since he'd seen him okay). Eating slowly, they talked about Tetsurou's exams, or rather, Tetsurou complained and Shouyou tried to cheer him up with a reminder that there were only two more left and then he'd be free. Full stomach and small kisses Shouyou peppered him with definitely helped Tetsurou feel more optimistic.

"Actually," Shouyou said after they were done eating and cuddled together on the couch. "I'm here today because I'm leaving next week."

"Wha– That's not fair," Tetsurou full on pouted. "Just when I'm done with the finals, too..."

"I know, I know," Shouyou hugged him closer. "But it's work, I can't do anything about it."

"How long will you be gone?" Tetsurou asked sulkily.

The only thing that was keeping him sane during this week was the prospect of finally being with Shouyou after his last exam, but now all of it was ruined. Tears stung in the corners of Tetsurou's eyes. He was too exhausted for this, too tired to struggle, and the feeling of being abandoned was making him emotionally unstable. He quickly hid his face in Shouyou's neck, making sure the other didn't see how close to the breaking point Testurou was.

"Just three days," Shouyou said, rubbing circles into Tetsurou's lower back. "I promise I'll be back as soon as possible."

Tetsurou hummed into the warm skin of Shouyou's neck, breathing in deep as if he was trying to memorize the way he smelled. Three days wasn't long. He could survive three days. Just seventy two hours. He'd gone more without seeing Shouyou. He could make it.

But all of a sudden, three days sounded like forever.

 

* * *

 

Shouyou was gone. It's only been a day, but Tetsurou was even more mope-y than the time when they had that huge argument. He had already cleaned his room just to have something to do, slept for like fourteen hours straight and even managed to squeeze in a short shift at the bar. And now, lying on his finally tidy bed, he was bored out of his mind. Bored, and lonely. It took only a moment's hesitation to find his phone in the sheets and press Shouyou's number.

The match Shouyou would be attending was in the evening and since it was only four in the afternoon, Tetsurou hoped he'd be free. After two long rings, Shouyou picked up.

"Hey."

His warm voice floated into Tetsurou's ear, making him sigh just a little.

"I miss you," Tetsurou said instead of a greeting, because his chest was already too tight with loneliness.

Shouyou's breath was soft and when he spoke next, Tetsurou closed his eyes, imagining he was right next to him.

"I miss you, too," Shouyou admitted. "Just two more days, Tetsurou."

"Yeah," he mumbled into his phone. Two days was a long time.

"Oh, I know," Shouyou perked up. "How about you plan our next date? Surprise me when I come back?"

Smiling a little, Tetsurou hummed, "I can do that. Just don't complain later."

Shouyou chuckled, low and warm, and a shiver involuntarily ran down Tetsurou's back. He shifted on the bed, already planning their date. Something flashy, something you lived through only once, something just for the two of them...

"You're going to have to wear your suit," Tetsurou said, imagining Shouyou clad in the thin material. "Vest and tie included. No jacket, maybe."

"Oh?" Shouyou prompted him to go on, curiosity colouring his voice.

"Yes," Tetsurou licked his lips. "And those pants that make your ass pop."

"Deal," Shouyou agreed easily. "But only if you wear those jeans that make your hips look like sin."

Tetsurou snickered. "You'll have to be more specific, I'm afraid. My hips always look like sin."

He was smirking a little now, and by the amused huff of Shouyou's breath, he guessed Shouyou was rolling his eyes at him.

"Can't argue with that," Shouyou caved. "So where are we going?"

"Hmm, not sure yet. But I do know what I'll be doing after we come back." Tetsurou lowered his voice, the smirk on his face sharpening.

"And what is that?"

"You," Tetsurou admitted shamelessly. "I'm actually thinking of tying your hands with that black tie of yours and having my wicked way with you."

There was a moment of silence on the other end, and Tetsurou's heart froze for just a second, before Shouyou's slightly raspy voice made it beat so much faster than before.

"I wouldn't mind that."

Tetsurou had to swallow hard. Suddenly, the conversation took a different path from what he intended, but if the shivers running across his skin were an indication of anything, it was clear he was welcoming the change.

"Um, Shouyou-san?" he asked, words low and heavy on his tongue. "Do you want to...?"

He was planning to finish the sentence after a calming breath, because the heat rising in his whole body was getting to his head, but it seemed to be unnecessary. Shouyou had understood him perfectly.

"Tell me," Shouyou ordered. "What would you do to me after you'd tie me up?"

Tetsurou could feel the rapid pulsing in his neck and he had to swallow hard again. His lips were dry, so he licked them, stalling for time while he tried to wrap his mind about the fact that he was really about to have phone sex with Shouyou. Wiping his sweaty with nerves hand on the front of his shirt, Tetsurou put his phone in his other one and pressed it to his ear.

"First," he started, "I'd make sure you can't get out of those bonds. Can't have you ruin my fun, after all."

"How kinky," Shouyou commented lightly. "I wouldn't mind getting burns on my wrists, though, so make sure it's tight."

Now Tetsurou had learned a few things about Shouyou, and a few more about what he liked in bed, but this... He was blissfully unaware that Shouyou had this side to him. To be perfectly honest, however, Tetsurou couldn't wait to explore it. A shiver ran down his spine and he had to lick his dry lips again.

"And _you_ call _me_ kinky," he mused playfully, earning a snicker from Shouyou, which felt like a smooth kiss to his jaw. Closing his eyes, Tetsurou focused on his mental image of a tied up Shouyou. "I think I'd leave you in your shirt, white looks good on you. So pure."

"Ah, and you want to tarnish my purity," Shouyou supplied helpfully. "As if you haven't already."

"Now, now," Tetsurou smirked to himself. "I do remember how much you enjoyed yourself last time I did some of that tarnishing. What was it again? _Tetsu_ –"

He moaned into the phone, imitating how Shouyou sounded, but his own voice made him highly aware of the tightening of his pants. Shouyou's chuckle didn't help much either and a glance down confirmed that he was already getting hard.

"Jerk," Shouyou replied, but his voice was lower and raspier than before. "What's next?"

"I'd kiss you breathless," Tetsurou said, the ghost feel of Shouyou's lips making him lick his own. "I'd open up your shirt and go down on you– How do you feel about coming untouched?"

Shouyou openly moaned at that, "Oh God..."

"Just Tetsurou is fine," Tetsurou joked weakly, but Shouyou's moan sounded so much filthier over the phone and he could directly feel the brush of the material of his underwear and sweats on his swollen with arousal girth.

"I don't _think_ I can come without being touched," Shouyou returned to Tetsurou's question. "But somehow I have no doubts that if you try, you will be able to make me..."

"That is some vote of confidence you're putting in me," Tetsurou commented, but he made a mental note to try it sometime in real life. "I'd have to make sure you're properly overstimulated, that's a hard task."

"Oh, please," Shouyou snorted, but it sounded as weak as Tetsurou's previous joke. "You can't wait to try it."

He grinned to himself, "You know me too well, Shouyou-san."

A huff of soft laughter warmed up Tetsurou's chest. "I hope so."

"Just as well as I know you, hopefully," Tetsurou continued. "Just as well as I know how weak you are to neck kisses. I'd turn your neck into one big hickey until you're hard and begging me to touch you."

He could hear the hitch in Shouyou's breathing and he knew he hit the jackpot. Shouyou always gave those deliciously sultry moans and violent shivers when Tetsurou paid any attention to his neck. Just imagining Shouyou's angled face and bared throat with red marks he'd put there himself made Tetsurou's pants tighten further.

With a shaky breath he slipped his hand down, resting it on his thigh and letting his thumb caress his length lightly through his sweats.

"Especially that spot in the crook of your shoulder," Tetsurou kept going. "Your moans are always so deep when I let my tongue do the work there."

A hushed moan made its way over the line and Tetsurou smirked in victory. His thumb pressed into his groin harder and he opened his mouth in a voiceless gasp.

"I love when you do that," Shouyou returned, his voice husky. "And when you bite me, that feels really good."

"Oh?" Tetsurou asked, a little breathless. "Someone has a pain kink?"

"Hmm, maybe," Shouyou admitted. "But what then? Go on, I'm listening."

"Impatient, Shouyou-san." Saying the man's name felt so good Tetsurou couldn't help the shiver that shook his body. "We're a long way from being done."

A frustrated groan was his only answer. It made Testurou smirk in satisfaction.

"I'd move to your chest then, leaving soft kisses on your skin," he breathed a little more into his words, murmuring them into the phone. "Let my fingers tease your nipples, but ever so lightly that you'd arch into my touch. I'd pull back then, and every other time as well, because you're not allowed to touch me, you can only lie back and let me do the work."  

"I hate you," Shouyou moaned.

"You love me," Tetsurou countered. "And you'd love it if I finally flicked my tongue over your swollen nipple, wouldn't you?"

The breathing was fast on the other end of the line. Tetsurou imagined Shouyou sitting in his hotel room with the phone pressed to his ear and listening to Tetsurou's fantasy. He licked his lips, changing the strokes of his thumb to his whole hand – running it up and down the already hardened tent in his pants.

"Yes," Shouyou admitted, breathy and making Tetsurou's hand lose its rhythm for a second. "I'd love that..."

"Imagine how I'd open your pants, just letting my fingers graze your stomach, but never touching where you most want me to," Tetsurou ordered, playing out the scene in his head. "I'd pull them down and start working on your thighs, god, you have such beautiful thighs, Shouyou-san..."

His own voice was gaining the moan-y quality, but Tetsurou didn't care anymore. His dick was aching for attention and he pushed his hand inside his underwear unable to control himself any longer. His fingers tightened around his shaft, giving it a few pumps before he pulled his cock out. The air brushed against the heated flesh and Tetsurou couldn't help the sigh that left his lips.

Lifting his hips to slip his underwear and sweats off his hips for more freedom, he heard Shouyou's reply:

"Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror?" Shouyou asked. "Because I swear, Tetsurou, I've never seen anyone with more delicious thighs than yours."

Tetsurou's dick twitched and he grabbed it, slowly moving his wrist along its length.

"Now, now, Shouyou-san," his voice was getting rougher, but it was good, he needed Shouyou to lose it as well. "This is my fantasy, let me have your thighs the way I want them."

Shouyou would probably laugh openly at this, but he only gave a shaky breath, a tiny huff that was too short to be called a chuckle, and Tetsurou knew he was making progress.

"I'd cover your thighs with bite marks and hickeys just like I'd do with your neck," Tetsurou continued, his hand steadily moving on his dick. "And when I'm done with both and you're aching hard, I'd finally give you some mercy and get your underwear off."

Shouyou's exhale on the line made Tetsurou shiver. His thumb pressed against the red, swollen head of his dick, sending another shiver down his spine and smearing precum all over it. It felt too good to stop, so he rubbed small circles into the head, his breathing coming in shorter and sharper.

"I'd tease you with light touches, watching your dick twitch in need." Tetsurou revelled in a moan that Shouyou let slip, and he groaned when it sent a wave of heat to his own dick. "But I wouldn't touch you, not until you beg, until you're close enough to crying from how much you want me to..."

A soft whimper from Shouyou sounded like the most sinful of sounds and Tetsurou's hand tightened on its own, making him gasp.

"I want you," Shouyou moaned into the phone. "I want you to touch me, Tetsurou, please..."

He groaned at the sheer need in Shouyou's voice. His dick was heavy in his hand, throbbing with the heat of upcoming release.

"I would put my lips over your dick and suck on you," Tetsurou said, squeezing his hand around the tip of his cock to mimic the sensation. Shouyou's moan was positively sinful and Tetsurou couldn't stop his own anymore. "And then I'd put you in my mouth fully and deep throat you long and hard, swallow around your head so that you can feel how my throat tightens..." 

"Yes, yes, fuck..."

Shouyou's breathing was hard and spurred Tetsurou on even more. His hand moved faster as the heat pooled in his abdomen, making him shake in the anticipation.

"I'll lick at your slit, and that vein that runs down the whole length of your dick," Tetsurou groaned into his phone, the hand holding it up trembling a little. "It feels so good to feel your pulse on my tongue..."

His tongue was tingling in his mouth in a desperate need to fulfill his fantasy, but Tetsurou only licked his lips and kept going.

"You'd already be so hard, Shouyou-san, I can picture it so well," he moaned. "Hard and heavy in my mouth..."

"Tetsurou, I'm–"

"I know," he breathed heavily, right at the edge. The length pulsing in his hand was begging for a few last pumps, and Tetsurou knew Shouyou was close too. "Where would you like to come, Shouyou-san?" he moaned, quickening the movement of his wrist. "My face or my mouth?"

Shouyou's groan was loud and desperate, as if he was losing his mind trying to decide. Tetsurou's breath hitched when the sweet numbness of orgasm started stealing his sense of touch, but it wasn't before he heard Shouyou's answer that he reached the peak.

"F-face..."

A single stuttered word had Tetsurou's world turn into nothingness as he came with a gasp. His hand was working on his cock seemingly of its own, jerking him through the orgasm. Somewhere in the back of his pleasure-clouded mind he could hear Shouyou's moans as he, too, had given in to the release.

A few minutes passed, only heavy breathing coming through from the other line, while they both tried to calm down their racing heartbeats.

"I hope you're prepared to repeat this when I get back," Shouyou finally said, his voice still a little shaken. "I'm not letting you off the hook."

Tetsurou chuckled breathlessly.

"You bet," he replied. "We're not leaving your bed for the whole day once I get my hands on you."

Shouyou's soft laughter filled Tetsurou's heart with sweet happiness. The loneliness was still hiding somewhere deep, but Tetsurou knew he could handle it now.

Listening to Shouyou complain about his timing, Tetsurou smiled to himself.

With Shouyou only a phone call away, he could do it. Two days wasn't that long. What's the worst that could happen?

 

* * *

 

Shouyou returned home, expecting Tetsurou to literally jump his bones the minute he steps foot in the door. Maybe some enactment of that fantasy they shared over the phone. At least a kiss, long and hard, because he'd been gone for three days and even before that they haven't seen each other much for the past two weeks. So all in all, after so many days apart, one would expect a bit of, you know, _something_.

Yet there was none.

Shouyou dropped off his stuff at his place, took a revitalizing shower, changed his clothes, but his phone still remained silent. All the times before when he was out of town, Tetsurou was immediately at his door right after he returned, always calling before Shouyou could even breathe in the stuffy stench of his unaired apartment. But not this time.

It made Shouyou frown, but when he tried to call Tetsurou again, he couldn't catch him. The ringing kept going and going until it finally redirected him to voicemail and Shouyou's frown deepened. Tetsurou never let anything go to voicemail unless he was upset. Shouyou tried again, but it was no use. Unsettled, he scrolled through his contacts' list and called Tetsurou's roommate, Bokuto, instead. If anyone would know what was going on, it would be him.

After a few rings, Bokuto's voice cheerfully greeted him. "Shouyou, hi!"

Shouyou smiled a bit, despite his worries.

"Hi, Bokuto," he greeted. "Do you have any idea why I can't get a hold of Tetsurou? His phone's going to voicemail all the time."

"Oh, yeah, he broke it yesterday," Bokuto helpfully supplied, amusement clear as day in his voice. "Threw it across the room and made a dent in the wall. Apparently it messed up something with the speakers, because you can't even hear it ringing anymore, so he probably just didn't see you call."

Shouyou blinked. "That sounds extreme."

"Beats me what that was about, but he's been weird all day," Bokuto commented, and then added: "Weirder than normal, that is."

"Is he home now?" Shouyou asked, pulling on his watch and checking the time.

"Yeah, he's pacing a hole in the floor like a cat in heat," Bokuto replied. "Oh, wait, is that it? Sexual frustration? Man, you gotta provide. It's for all of our sakes."

Shouyou choked on his spit and then once the first shock was over, he laughed.

"Sure, sure," he agreed. "I'll be coming over then, don't tell him I called."

"Sure thing," the grin in Bokuto's voice was audible. "See ya then!"

With a final goodbye, Shouyou ended the call. He grabbed his keys, locked the apartment and after a short ride through the city, parked before Tetsurou's building. He was bubbly with excitement, those days of being apart weighing on him even more heavily than he had expected. He couldn't wait to see Tetsurou, to kiss him, smell him, feel his arms around him...

Grinning brightly, he knocked on the door, which opened almost immediately. But it wasn't Tetsurou who was on the other side, but Bokuto.

"I'm going out," Bokuto winked at Shouyou. "Don't want to interrupt you two lovebirds."

Shouyou rolled his eyes. The grin on his face was starting to hurt, but he couldn't stop it.

"Thanks," Shouyou said to Bokuto. "What would we do without your kindness?"

"Probably have hot, steamy car sex," Bokuto said seriously, and now, while the idea of him mentioning it definitely turned Shouyou off, the picture of Tetsurou moving sensuously on his lap with all the windows fogged was definitely–

"Dude, no." Shouyou snapped out of it, blinking up at Bokuto. "Don't do car sex, it'd kill you both."

Shouyou smirked. "Speaking from experience?" 

"You betcha," Bokuto winked at him again. "But I'm going now, have fun settling your kitty's hormones!"

And with that he was gone down the hall, leaving Shouyou in the open door. Shaking his head in amusement, Shouyou stepped inside, closing the door after himself and locking it properly. He toed off his shoes and made it straight to Tetsurou's room. The door was hanging ajar and when Shouyou stopped by them, he could, indeed, see the hole in the wall opposite of Tetsurou's bed.

Tetsurou, on the other hand, was pacing just like Bokuto had said. Eyes glued to the floor, lip worried between his teeth and feet flapping impatiently against the wood. Shouyou watched him for a moment, just letting himself bathe in the happiness of finally seeing Tetsurou.

"Stressful day?" Shouyou asked, propped against the frame of the door.

It was funny how Tetsurou jumped at the sound of his voice. It was funny to see the shock and disbelief on his face when he turned around. It was also funny when an incoherent string of sounds left Tetsurou's mouth. It was not funny, though, when in two long strides Tetsurou made it over to where Shouyou stood and crushed him in a tight embrace, but that's exactly what Shouyou wanted. It was too warm and a little heavy, and yet every fibre of his being was screaming in happiness so overwhelming Shouyou had to fight the urge to cry.

He swallowed through his tightened throat, pushing his face in Tetsurou's chest. Taking a deep breath, he smiled.

"Hi," he said softly.

Tetsurou's arms only pulled him closer, the pressure against his ribs almost crushing. Tetsurou had yet to say anything and Shouyou's good mood was dissipating the longer he was silent. He could hear the quickened heartbeat in Tetsurou's chest, but when seconds passed without him saying anything, Shouyou pulled back.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Bokuto said you've been acting weird all day?"

"I hate how you two get along so well," Tetsurou finally said, voice whiny, but also drained.

He wasn't frowning per se, and Shouyou couldn't make out if that was actually what the whole matter was about or if it was just Tetsurou sulking. Before he could think of what to ask next, Tetsurou was stepping back and coming around to sit on his bed, his face in his hands and shoulders dropped low. Something pulled at the strings of Shouyou's heart and he found himself kneeling before Tetsurou.

He pried his hands away, gently cradling his face in his hands.

"Tell me," Shouyou pleaded.

He watched Tetsurou heave a sigh, golden eyes widened in slight panic and coloured deep with resignation. Tetsurou looked away from him as he spoke.

"My mom called yesterday," he admitted quietly. "They asked us over for dinner."

"And that's what has you so stressed," Shouyou summed up, an invisible burden lifting off his heart.

"You don't understand," Tetsurou groaned, closing his eyes, but he didn't pull away from Shouyou. "My mom will be fine, she's kind to everyone, but my dad... You saw how he is and that was him being _pleasant_ and _in public_. Imagine how he's like in his own house around family! It's going to be a disaster and I can't possibly ask you to go through that, Shouyou-san."

Shouyou smiled lightly at that.

"I appreciate that you're trying to protect me, but really," With his thumb he turned Tetsurou's chin towards him, making their eyes meet. "I don't need protecting. I'm thirty-five, I can handle your dad. We're both adults here, there's nothing he can do about it."

Tetsurou watched him for a while and Shouyou smiled reassuringly. It was going to be alright. He knew Tetsurou and his dad didn't get along well, he knew the man was strict and demanding, but it was a fact that Tetsurou was now an adult. He didn't live with his parents anymore, he wasn't completely dependent on them. There was nothing his father could do, if Tetsurou didn't give him that power.

"Are you sure?" Tetsurou asked, golden eyes a little lost still, but also hopeful.

Shouyou nodded. "I'm sure. We can do it, together."

Tetsurou cracked the tiniest of smiles and Shouyou's heart melted.

"I've missed you," Tetsurou said softly, leaning forward.

"Me too," Shouyou replied, closing the rest of the distance between them and joining their lips in a sweet kiss. "It's good to be back."

 

* * *

 

In his best suit and with a bottle of red wine safely tucked on the backseat of his car, Shouyou picked up a nervous Tetsurou as they made their way to his parents house. Tetsurou was giving directions, but that was about all the conversation he could handle. Shouyou tried to cheer him up by cracking some really lame jokes, but even that didn't help. Tetsurou was grim and shaken, and he looked like he was seconds away from puking.

Ten minutes before the agreed time, Shouyou turned into the driveway of a really nice house, and what he meant was _a_ _really nice house_ – two stories, white-painted top with dark polished wood on the bottom. It looked chic and modern, and Shouyou admired it for a long moment before he cut off the engine.

Tetsurou was looking at the house with different emotions on his face, though. His eyes were wide in dread, lips a little paler than usual and his hand shook a little when he lifted it to open the door on his side.

"Hey, wait," Shouyou stopped him. Tetsurou's gaze shifted to him and Shouyou almost winced at the dead resignation in it. "It's not too late yet," Shouyou said. "If you want to leave, I can come up with an excuse and get us out of here in two seconds."

A corner of Tetsurou's lips lifted in a small smile, but his eyes remained dead. Shouyou's heart clenched in his chest. He reached for Tetsurou's hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, because there was literally nothing else he could do to soothe Tetsurou's anxiety.

"Let's go," Tetsurou said quietly, but he didn't pull his hand away. "My father hates people who are late. Something about wasting his time and money."

He snorted without much amusement in his voice. Shouyou's fingers around Tetsurou's hand tightened just a little.

"Let's not make a bad impression then," Shouyou replied, regretfully letting go of Tetsurou's hand.

He grabbed the wine from the backseat and together they made it over to the front door. Tetsurou pushed the doorbell and not long after, the door swung open. Tetsuoru's mother stood in the entrance, smiling at them cheerfully. The crinkles around her eyes added years to her face, but the gentle look in them and the quirk of her lips made her seem younger than her actual age. She greeted them both with hugs and asked them inside.

As Shouyou expected, the interior of the house was just as modern and western as the front. The floor was panelled with light wood, walls painted white and from time to time covered in darker wood to match with the outside, the furniture wooden and impressive. Compared to Tetsurou's cramped room in the flat he was sharing with Bokuto, this seemed like a dream house and yet it also seemed empty. Despite people living there, it seemed to be... hollow.

They made their way through the narrow hallway into the huge living room, which was joined with the kitchen on the left. A dining table, fully prepared for four people was situated right across from the kitchen nook and in front of the huge floor-to-ceiling double winged windows that were looking out on a small but neatly kept garden.

It was a lot to take in and, frankly, Shouyou was starting to feel the nerves creep along his skin as well. Tetsurou's tense posture got even more rigid when he noticed his father sitting at the table already, reading some papers without a care. He didn't even glance over when they entered and Shouyou suddenly got a feeling that this evening will be harder to get through than he imagined.

"Darling," Tetsurou's mother called out to her husband. "Tetsurou and Shouyou-kun are already here, put away those documents."

That seemed to pull the man out of his work and he looked up, eyes as cold as Shouyou remembered them. He scrutinized Shouyou first and then spared only a glance at Tetsurou. With a grunt at his wife's pestering, he put the documents back into their file and let her take it away. Only then did he stand up and made his way over.

"Tetsu," he nodded at Tetsurou, who frowned.

"My name's Tetsurou, dad, not Tetsu," Tetsurou complained petulantly, but his father ignored him completely, turning his attention to Shouyou.

"And you... What was your name again?"

He could take offense. God only knew the man's voice was far from pleasant and Shouyou had a brief feeling he was being toyed with. One would think that a father should remember his son's boyfriend's name, but... Shouyou smiled nonetheless, lifting his hand and offering it to Tetsurou's father.

_Be pleasant, Shouyou,_ he told himself. _Charming, lovable, kind. Make them weep._

"Hinata Shouyou, sir," he introduced himself, shaking the man's hand. It was a hard one and his bones grit together, but he didn't let himself get overwhelmed. "It's a pleasure to see you again, thank you for having me."

"We'll see about that," was all the man said.

It seemed to be good enough greeting for everyone, because Tetsurou's mother started fussing over dinner, his father went to sit at the table again, and Tetsurou himself looked like part of him wanted to run to help his mom and part like he wanted to run away completely. Taking pity on him, Shouyou handed him the wine with a smile.

"Open it up for us?" he asked and the thankful smile Tetsurou sent him in return made Shouyou a little weak in the knees.

"I'll be right back then," Tetsurou said, touching Shouyou's elbow briefly and slipping away to where his mother was taking a roasted duck out of the oven.

The smell was heavenly and Shouyou closed his eyes briefly. It helped him relax a bit. Once he opened the again, he stepped up to the table, taking a seat right in front of Tetsurou's father. Maybe that will let Tetsurou breathe a little more at ease.

"You have a beautiful house, Kuroo-san," Shouyou said conversationally.

"Those who work can afford things," the man simply said and Shouyou nodded in agreement.

"Not everyone has the courage to live like this, though," he returned. "I admire people who do."

There was a pop of the cork in the background and before Tetsurou's father picked up the conversation, his wife came bearing a huge plate with a whole duck proudly sitting in the middle of a mix of salads.

"That looks amazing," Shouyou smiled at Tetsurou's mother, who returned the smile with a wink.

"Wait until you taste it," she boasted. "If I can say so myself, the duck is my signature dish."

"Can't wait for it then," Shouyou returned.

Tetsurou returned with the wine to fill their glasses, but he skipped Shouyou's at which Shouyou only smiled. The cold golden eyes noticed the exchange, however, and Tetsurou's father asked:

"You're not drinking?"

Shouyou only shook his head. "I'm driving."

"You have a car?" The question was probably out of genuine surprise, so Shouyou swallowed the comment he truly wanted to make.

"Yes, I do," he said. "It's nothing fancy, but it does the work it's supposed to."

Tetsurou's father looked at him with a different light in his eyes, but it was something Shouyou couldn't figure out. The gold of his gaze was so similar to Tetsurou's and yet, it was also so much different. Somehow, Shouyou found himself unnerved at how difficult it was to read the man sitting before him. That was probably one of the qualities that made him such a brilliant lawyer, he realized.

The conversation hushed over until everyone had their own piece of the duck on the plate. They ate in silence for a while, and truly, Tetsurou's mother was right to have boasted about her cooking – the duck was exquisite. After his second serving, Shouyou was ready for a third one, but it seemed like the pleasant atmosphere was over and the interrogation part was starting, so he held back.

"So, tell us, boys," Tetsurou's mother started, sipping on her wine. "How long have you two known each other?"

"About four months, I guess," Tetsurou answered, chewing on his remaining duck. "We met through Kenma. He and Shouyou-san are cousins."

"Oh, really?" the woman smiled. "Kenma-kun is such a doll, we loved having him over. So you boys are cousins?" She turned to Shouyou.

"On my father's side," Shouyou supplied. "My father and Kenma's mother are siblings, hence different surnames. We see each other a lot at family gatherings because of that. It was on one of those that Kenma mentioned Tetsurou to me, and, well, now we're here." Shouyou smiled at her.

"If it's Kenma-kun's judgement, then we can completely trust him," she laughed. "He was always the more responsible one of these two."

"Hey!" Tetsurou protested and Shouyou snickered.

"I can believe that pretty easily," he added, getting a squinty-eyed look from Tetsurou. Some invisible tension lifted off Shouyou's shoulders at seeing the emotion slowly coming back to Tetsurou's eyes. This was good.

"So what university are you going to, Shouyou-kun?" Tetsurou's mother asked. "Any plans for the future?"

It made Shouyou freeze for a moment. He supposed he looked younger than his actual age, but that young? He took a sip of his water as he thought of the right way to answer. Tetsurou tensed up next to him and Shouyou swallowed with difficulty. Honesty was the only right path, though.

"I have a master's degree in journalism," he replied. "I finished my studies about ten years ago."

"Ten...?" Tetsurou's mother was in slight shock.

"I'm thirty-five," Shouyou smiled at her. "But you flatter me by misjudging my age, so thank you."

"Was there really no one older who'd let you crawl into their bed?" Tetsurou's father cut into the conversation, harsh and cruel, and looking at his son with barely hidden distaste.

Shouyou's eyes narrowed. He really didn't care what people thought about his age, but what the man was implying about his own son... Tetsurou seemed to be of the same mind, because his hand tightened around his knife.

"Oh, I think twelve years is just a perfect age difference, don't you, mom?" Tetsurou turned the question to his mother, quickly looking away from his father's stormy face.

"Of course, there's nothing wrong with that," she smiled at her son and then at Shouyou, sending her husband a brief glance in-between. "As long as you two are happy, it's enough."

Shouyou returned her smile.

"For now," Tetsurou's father interjected, making the atmosphere tense again. He then bore his cold eyes into Shouyou. "Since you're an adult, I assume you have a job?"

"I do," Shouyou nodded, unsure what was the other's angle. "I'm a journalist for a volleyball magazine."

The derogatory snort that left the man's mouth was the worst thing yet and Shouyou's blood started boiling slowly in his veins. He calmed himself, though, watching how Tetsurou's father's face turned mocking.

"A volleyball magazine?" the man asked. "Why not actually play the sport if you're going to waste away your opportunities? But that would take skill and practice, which, I suppose, you aren't inclined towards, eh?"

Shouyou's mouth went dry and his heart clenched in his chest. Of all things, it was this one Tetsurou's father had to bring up. Seemed like fate wasn't on his side today.

Before he could answer, Tetsurou put down his utensils with a loud clang.

"Dad," his voice was sharp, one that Shouyou hadn't heard before and it caught him off guard. "Why are you always like this? You act as if you're so much better than everyone el–"

Shouyou lay his hand over Tetsurou's clenched fist and the rush of words stopped when Tetsurou's head snapped to him. Shouyou smiled at him in gratitude. He appreciated Tetsurou trying to help him, protect him, but as he'd said before: he could handle himself. And Tetsurou's father.

"I played professionally for a while until I got injured and retired," Shouyou said to the man, smiling coldly. "So now I'm doing the next best thing. Don't you think that one should always pursue what they love?"

"Now that's a weak excuse for those who can't succeed in life," Tetsurou's father said, disdain clear in his voice.

He wasn't wrong. Shouyou didn't succeed in life, he wasn't doing what he'd dreamed of doing ever since he was a kid. But it didn't mean he was a complete failure. His life and goals had changed, but such was life – you don't always get what you want, even if you work your ass off to get it.

"Maybe you're right," Shouyou agreed. "But as long as they are happy, who are we to judge? You, better than anyone, must know that not everyone can earn millions. There have to be some that earn less. It's a simple balance of human society."

The cold, calculative gaze of the golden eyes bore into him with renewed intensity. Shouyou fought the urge to fidget under it, and he won. It seemed like his response had won him over at least a miniscule of respect, because the rest of the evening passed without any more hiccups like that, not for the lack of trying on Tetsurou's father's part.

They finished the dinner, talked some more and in a definitely lighter mood than before – and after another round of hugs from Tetsurou's mother – they left.

On the way over to Tetsurou's place, Tetsurou babbled excitedly, fawning over how well Shouyou had handled his father and how amazed he was at how the dinner progressed. Shouyou only smiled at him, chuckling in amusement when Tetsurou went overboard with compliments. He laughed openly when Tetsurou pulled him upstairs once they got to his building, and muffled it in Tetsurou's lips when they reached his door.

"Hey," Shouyou whispered against Tetsurou's mouth, tasting the wine and the duck on his tongue as a sweet reminder. "Just remember that this is only the first step. We're going to make your father accept your change in majors."

Warm golden eyes, bright with affection, gazed down at him and Shouyou let himself drown in them.

"You're the best fucking thing that ever happened to me, Shouyou," Tetsurou said, voice passionate and the loss of the honorific, which separated them until now with an invisible barrier, made Shouyou's heart skip into a wild dance against his ribcage.

Before he could collect himself enough to answer Tetsurou with how much he meant to him as well, he was already being pulled inside the door. And pressed against the wooden frame, with Tetsurou's mouth firmly on his and words lost on his tongue, Shouyou mused that maybe he should just show him instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes one ticket to heaven pls


	13. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life

After everything they've been through, Tetsurou's end of the year break was the best thing that could have happened to them. It was April and the spring was in full bloom, cherry blossom petals stuck in everyone's hair. Every time Shouyou plucked some of them out of Tetsurou's black locks, he pulled the younger man down for a kiss as sweet as the air filling their lungs. Shouyou had taken a few days off, just to let himself relax, and they spent all of their time together – day and night, until the free side of Shouyou's bed got clattered with Tetsurou's things.

Their week off flew by faster than either would have expected and slowly they had to return back to their lives. But life was good now: Shouyou's articles were coming up nicely and he even mentioned to his boss that he'd like to dial down on the trips outside of town if possible, which had only earned him an amused crinkle of Iwaizumi's eyes and a firm nod; Tetsurou had applied for the short psychology course at his university to see if it really would be something for him and was about to start it this month; but most of all – there was no more drama.

No more secrets between them, no more buried past that would ever come to haunt them, no more lies and small half-truths. Tetsurou's father was a piece of work, so there was that, but Shouyou was positive that the man's cold demeanour was born out of the sheer reality of this world and his deep concern for his son's wellbeing. And Shouyou respected that, so he made sure to help these two see what the other really wanted.

Before Shouyou knew it, with Tetsurou back at university and himself thrown back into the whirl of work, April came to an end and Golden Week found them cuddled on Shouyou's couch. They were watching Hell's Kitchen and lusting after all the amazing food on the screen. Shouyou was sitting between Tetsurou's long legs, his own sprawled on the seat next to them, and resting against Tetsurou's chest. Arms held him lightly in the middle. It was comfortable and safe and with an additional comfort of a blanket it felt like heaven.

Tetsurou's heart beat right below Shouyou's ear, Tetsurou's cologne filling his world with his beloved smell and the warmth melting away all the stress of his previous week. If Shouyou tilted his head right, he could press a kiss to Tetsurou's neck, throat, jaw or chin, which he took advantage of way too much, but neither of them complained since Tetsurou rained kisses on his head and forehead just as often.

Shouyou chuckled softly when Tetsurou kissed the top of his head again. He lifted his face up and earned a chaste kiss to his lips as well. Slow and tender affection was swirling lazily in his chest and Shouyou sighed happily.

"I love you," he said, because he liked saying it, especially when–

"I love you, too," Tetsurou answered. Like the sweetest music, his words hummed in Shouyou's veins. "And now that we're all sappy and disgusting, what do you want to eat? It's lunch time soon."

Shouyou hummed, a smirk curling around his lips. "You."

Tetsurou snorted, amused.

"Not that I'm complaining, but we need some actual food after that, too, you know." He kissed Shouyou's temple and Shouyou closed his eyes in bliss.

"Who needs food when you have love," he said playfully, nuzzling his nose against Tetsurou's cheek.

Tetsurou laughed openly at that, muffling it in Shouyou's shoulder and making him grin as well. God, he loved making Tetsurou laugh – that subtle way Tetsurou's shoulders shook, the hitch in his breath as he tried to stifle his chuckles, the squinty thing his golden eyes always did; Shouyou loved it all.

Before he could get even sappier than that, Tetsurou stood up, picking Shouyou up with him. A yelp of surprise left Shouyou's mouth as he clung to Tetsurou's shoulder's for balance.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Getting us both fed," Tetsurou grinned down at him, winking, as he made his way towards Shouyou's bedroom. Shouyou laughed quietly at that.

"What about the actual food?" he asked.

"We can order some pizza later," Tetsurou replied carelessly, stepping into the room and over to the bed where he gently laid Shouyou down on the sheets.

"No pizza," Shouyou vetoed. "I'm an old man, I have to be strict with my diet."

"You're not old, Shouyou," Tetsurou said, crawling on top of him. Shouyou's heart fluttered, but he wasn't sure whether it was because of Tetsurou's closeness or the way he used his name nowadays. Probably a mixture of both. "You're only thirty-five."

"Thirty-six, soon," Shouyou corrected with a small frown. He didn't want to get even older, he really didn't.

"Oh, June, right?" Tetsurou asked, and Shouyou answered with a sigh and a short "Yeah."

"Hey," Tetsurou called and when Shouyou lifted his eyes to meet his, he found him smiling lightly. "No matter how old you get, you're you. And _I love you_."

Shouyou felt the beginnings of a blush heat up his skin. Tetsurou must have noticed it too, because his smile sharpened. He leaned down, pressing their lips together. Shouyou's heart trembled in his chest and when Tetsurou put a hand over it, it thumped in love and longing as if it wanted to say the words Shouyou's lips were too busy to speak: "Me too."

 

* * *

 

Spring always passed too fast to keep track off. Weeks blew past and suddenly it was the end of May and June was starting with sun bearing hot on everyone's necks. Tetsurou was busier than usual, trying to keep up with his packed schedule: law classes, psychology course and work atop of having a working boyfriend seemed to be a straining combination. Shouyou was less busy with his own work, so Tetsurou's absence was even more obvious to him than it would have been if he was immersed in articles.

They met once a week at best, sometimes it took longer, but Shouyou didn't complain. At least not out loud. He knew it was taking a lot out of Tetsurou to do his best on all forts, so instead of adding more pressure onto his shoulders, he cuddled the shit out of his amazing boyfriend, kissing him a lot more as if to make up for the lost time. And since Tetsurou never said a word against it, they were all good.

That is, until the phone calls started.

Shouyou thought nothing of it when Tetsurou uncurled from their cocoon the first time to leave the room and pick up his phone, but when it happened again the next time they met, and another the next time yet, his curiosity was piqued. The curiosity quickly changed into suspicion and then into fear when Tetsurou continued snatching his phone out of Shouyou's sight as soon as it started vibrating. Sometimes it was a text he was hiding, sometimes another call he left to answer, but uneasiness churned in Shouyou's stomach heavy as lead.

Didn't they promise each other that they'd have no more secrets? Was Tetsurou in some sort of trouble? Was it his parents?

Questions ran through Shouyou's head faster than he could think of possible answers for them and the tension inside his heart grew. Tetsurou was acting like nothing was wrong, like he didn't just slip his phone behind his thigh to type out a text, just so Shouyou wouldn't see it.

It hurt.

Shouyou believed they were closer than that, he thought Tetsurou knew he could trust him with anything. His heart tightened painfully in his chest and when Tetsurou's arm returned to wrap around his shoulders, Shouyou pulled back.

"What's going on?" he asked, piercing gaze boring into Tetsurou's golden eyes. "What are you hiding from me?"

There was a flash of surprise on Tetsurou's face, but it was the guilt that followed that stabbed Shouyou right in the gut.

"I can't tell you," Tetsurou answered, his voice apologetic. "Not yet. But I promise I will, I just... need more time."

Shouyou looked at him for a long while, trying to figure out what it was that he was missing, but his mind was coming up blank. He finally sighed, and pulled Tetsurou into a hug that the other returned tightly enough that Shouyou's lungs stung as he breathed.

He let the matter drop, for a while, and two weeks had passed faster than Shouyou would think. He really had no idea what to expect when he got a call from Tetsurou that said he was ready to tell him everything, but when Tetsurou showed up on his doorstep, smiling brightly and kissing Shouyou in greeting, a handful of black fabric was not it.

"I want you to wear this," Tetsurou said.

"A blindfold?" Shouyou asked with a raised eyebrow, unfolding the material in his hands.

"I know what you want to say," Tetsurou's grin sharpened. "And yes, we can use it later, but for now I have a surprise for you so put it on! Chop-chop!"

Blinking up at him, Shouyou fondled the black fabric in his fingers. He didn't really understood the purpose, but he guessed he could humour Tetsurou. It wasn't such a big deal, after all. _Oh, hell, whatever_ , he thought, putting the material over his eyes.

"Tie it for me?" he asked and Tetsurou's fingers were soon knotting the ends of the blindfold together.

"All done," Tetsurou said once he finished, pressing a kiss to Shouyou's temple, and okay, Shouyou had to admit he was actually looking forward to that 'use it later' part.

"So what now?" Shouyou turned around to where he remembered Tetsurou was.

Warm hands took a hold of his and in the darkness of his world it felt like a lone beacon of hope. Shouyou linked their fingers together.

"Now," Tetsurou said and Shouyou didn't need to see to know he was smirking, which made his own lips quirk in a smile. "We're going out."

"Wait, wha–"

His words were cut off when Tetsurou pulled him out of the doorway and Shouyou stumbled over the threshold with a yelp. He didn't fall, Tetsurou was there to steady him, but for that brief moment when he was caught out off guard, Shouyou was debating all his life choices, starting with the last one.

Tetsurou locked the door behind them and guided them to the elevator. Clinging to his hand even more than before, Shouyou felt the moment they stepped outside when the sun bore down on his face harder than usual because of the dark material covering his eyes. He didn't complain though, just let Tetsurou take the wheel and lead them to where he wanted.

They took a bus, Tetsurou's hands always securing him in case he stumbled and soft words guiding Shouyou's movements. People must have stared at them a lot, but with the blindfold on his face, Shouyou didn't notice their gazes so he only shrugged at it. He had other problems at hand, for example: how to step off the bus without tripping and breaking something.

He did trip.

And he did fall.

But Tetsurou was right there to catch him, pulling him close against his chest and pressing a small kiss to Shouyou's lips, which did nothing to soothe the adrenaline coursing through Shouyou's veins. Shouyou smiled to himself as he was lead by the hand again. The things he did for this kid...

"Okay, we're almost there," Tetsurou finally said and God only knew why, Shouyou suddenly felt nerves knot his insides into a bundle.

"And where is there?" he asked, which only made Tetsurou chuckle.

"Good try," Tetsurou commented. "But you'll see for yourself once we get there."

Sighing at his failed attempt, Shouyou obediently followed Tetsurou. He had absolutely no idea where they were, what part of town, what bus they took to get here, and frankly it was making Shouyou uneasy. But he trusted Tetsurou enough to not say a word.

Few minutes later, Tetsurou was opening some door before him and guiding Shouyou inside. The distinct smell of food should have been Shouyou's first hint, but he was too focused on not walking into the door to notice. Once inside, Tetsurou squeezed his hand in encouragement and then let go. A brief moment of panic caught Shouyou's breath in his throat, but then Tetsurou's voice reached him, warm and bubbling with joy:

"You can take off the blindfold."

And Shouyou did.

"Happy birthday!"

And he blinked and squinted and blinked some more. Everything was too bright after the complete darkness, so it took his eyes a second to readjust, but when they did, he saw the room – and not just any room, it was Tsukishima and Yamaguchi's restaurant – full of people grinning at him. A huge sign in the back spelled "Happy birthday Shouyou" and a cake on the table had the candle with the number 36 lit up.

Something tightened in Shouyou's chest when he turned to look at Tetsurou.

"Was this what you've been hiding from me?" he asked and Tetsurou smiled at him, a little guiltily.

"Yeah, sorry about that," he apologized. "I just wanted to do something special for you, since you've already done so much for me. I didn't mean to hide anything from you, but you know... A surprise is not a surprise until you actually _surprise_ someone. Are you? Surprised?"

He was rambling a bit and Shouyou couldn't help the soft huff of laughter from tumbling out of his mouth.

"I am," he replied, smiling at Tetsurou. "You're forgiven this time. Now come here and give me a kiss."

Tetsurou chuckled and stepped up to him, leaning down to let their lips meet. It was tender and short, but enough to make Shouyou's heart flutter in happiness. And when Tetsurou pulled back, eyes glowing a precious gold, Shouyou couldn't ever imagine a better surprise.

"Happy birthday, Shouyou," Tetsurou said, smiling at him.

Shouyou smiled back, pecking his lips again. "It's the happiest, because I've got you."

Tetsurou snorted in amusement, but the pink of his cheeks betrayed how much Shouyou's words meant to him. With joy brimming in his veins and warming up his chest, Shouyou couldn't help but think: " _Wow, I'm really in love with this guy._ "

Before he could say anything though, he was swept by the owners of the restaurant to blow the candles, but the light inside his heart was shining strong and bright every time his eyes met the golden gaze. It was, without a doubt, the best birthday Shouyou had had in years.

 

* * *

 

Tetsurou watched Shouyou accept hugs and birthday wishes from the people gathered at the restaurant, his lips quirked in a gentle smile. It was hard to organize everything perfectly, and Tetsurou was incredibly grateful for Yamaguchi's input. He thanked the gods for the idea to find his number in Shouyou's phone one day and just call him to beg for help in inviting the people. After all, who would know better Shouyou's friends and family than one of his closest friends?

But Yamaguchi did more than that. He offered up his restaurant as the venue, his husband's cooking instead of catering that Tetsurou was planning on, and even more: he insisted on taking care of the banner that was now hanging proudly on the wall behind the lined up tables. Really, without Yamaguchi, Tetsurou wouldn't be able to pull this off. He made a mental note to later thank the man properly, but for now he watched Shouyou laugh cheerfully as people wished him all sorts of things.

There were so many of them, too. Tetsurou wasn't really surprised that he didn't know most of them. Shouyou's radiant personality seemed to be drawing people in, so of course he'd have many friends, but seeing them all in one place, Tetsurou felt a little forgotten. And yet, just one glimpse of Shouyou's smiling face was enough to make his worries go away as if they weren't even there in the first place, filling his heart with warmth and love instead.

Tetsurou could recognize some familiar faces, too. There was Tsukishima with the ever present smirk, of course there was Yamaguchi, who smiled and winked at Tetsurou conspiratorially. There was Hitoka waving to him and Hide eyeing the cake with stars in his eyes. Even Kageyama was there, standing next to his wife and son, his face less grim than usual. (Tetsurou even caught him smiling once and he swore Kageyama looked like a completely different person then.)

There was the photographer Tetsurou remembered from that one time Shouyou took him to see the Thunders' match against the Rockets, and a tiny woman, maybe a few years older than Tetsurou himself, with bright orange hair – the same hue that Shouyou's was. Tetsurou guessed she must have been his sister by the way the two greeted each other warmly.

There were lots and lots of other people, some of them Shouyou's friends from university, some from school, some from work. It took a long while until everyone was done wishing Shouyou all the best. The presents were tucked off to the side on a spare table and everyone sat down to eat. There was a full meal prepared, curtsey of the owners of the restaurant, and afterwards everyone got a slice of the birthday cake.

Once the plates were cleaned up, it was time for presents. And oh, there were as many as there were guests. Tetsurou watched Shouyou open one after another. Most came with signed cards so that it'd be easier to tell who they were from, but there were some without and Shouyou had a blast trying to guess who they were from.

Halfway through, the table was full of ripped wrapping paper and Shouyou was a proud owner of three movie passes, two gym memberships, six different books, two bottles of expensive looking alcohol, an elegant phone case, a scarf, a black silk tie, beautiful golden cufflinks and finally: a box which looked deceivingly like a cereal box, but which was labled as "The cure for farting in bed". It brought a burst of laughter from everyone as soon as Shouyou unwrapped it, and it only took the birthday man a single look to scowl at it and pitch it right at Tsukishima's head, who caught it skillfully in the midst of his chuckles.

Tetsurou was still giggling to himself at the way Shouyou continued mumbling to himself as he reached for the next gift, but his amusement stopped when he noticed what the object in Shouyou's hands was. He swallowed his uncertainty, watching Shouyou rip away the paper, revealing a meticulously crafted leather cover of the photo album Tetsurou had gotten him. Shouyou looked at it in silence and since it wasn't signed, Tetsurou spoke up.

"That one's from me," he said with a small, slightly nervous smile. All eyes turned to him and it was a little embarrassing, but he fought the flush that threatened to brighten his cheeks. "I saw all the pictures around your house and well, I thought that, you know, we could start an album together."

It was even more embarrassing than he had thought and Tetsurou was painfully aware of the heat crawling up his neck. Even worse was the silence around the table and Shouyou's glowing eyes, boring into him with intensity that Tetsurou had come to love in private, but which was a little too much in public. He knew he was blushing full-force when Shouyou stood up and walked over to kiss Tetsurou's cheek briefly. Tetsurou's face grew even hotter if it was possible, as if chasing after the warmth that was spilling in his chest at the small gesture.

"Thank you," Shouyou said softly. "I'd love that."

All Tetsurou wanted to do was to hide his face somewhere, preferably in Shouyou's chest, but he resisted the urge and smiled at Shouyou brightly. Before Shouyou returned to his seat though, the photographer, Tetsurou didn't remember his name, made his way towards them, putting his gift – a small but thick blue envelope – before the both of them.

"You might like this then," the man said in a deep voice. "I was cleaning up some of the old film to make more space for new ones and I found these. Thought you might have a use for them."

Shouyou picked up the envelope and opened it. There were photos inside, about ten or fifteen of them, and Shouyou angled them to let Tetsurou see as well. Because they were no ordinary photos, they were photos of them, together. One was of Tetsurou laughing at something, mouth covered with his hand and Shouyou looking at him with a bright grin. Another one was of Shouyou with his head turned away and Tetsurou sneaking a glance at him with a soft smile on his lips. Another one was of them talking, and another when they just sat together, Tetsurou's hand in Shouyou's lap as they held hands.

"Are these from the Thunders' versus Rockets' match?" Tetsurou asked in stunned wonder.

He could see glimpses of the audience sitting in the back, sometimes of the court, but really, it didn't matter because he and Shouyou stole all of his attention.

"I wanted to give them to you sooner, but I forgot I even took them," the man explained. "I hope you like your present, though."

"I do," Shouyou grinned. "Thank you, Akaashi-san."

Tetsurou smiled up at the man as well, receiving a small quirk of lips in return. The pictures and the album were set to the side as Shouyou resumed opening the rest of the presents. It took another fifteen minutes, a pair of socks, a whiskey glass engraved with his birthday's date, another tie and two more books before all the presents were opened. People were chattering away, some of them leaving already, until only the closest friends and family were left in the restaurant.

Tetsurou spotted Kenma in the corner, busy on his phone, and he grinned. He slinked over with the intention of startling Kenma, but the kid's observation skills were unparalleled as always and he only shot Tetsurou an unamused stare when Tetsurou's hand covered the screen of his phone. With a shrug, Tetsurou pulled back his hand, but smiled when Kenma didn't return to typing right away.

"You know, I never really said it," Tetsurou started. "Thanks."

"For what?" Kenma asked, his voice betraying nothing.

"For hooking me up with Shouyou," Tetsurou explained, easily finding the man in the crowd, even though he wasn't really looking.

"You're welcome," Kenma replied, and when Tetsurou looked over, he found him smiling that tiny smile of his that meant so much more than anyone else's brightest grin. "Now go give your man a kiss, I can feel you lusting."

Tetsurou snorted, but obediently left Kenma alone with his phone. Shouyou wasn't occupied by the guests anymore, which made it a perfect opportunity to sneak him away. Tetsurou veered through the crowd until he was right next to Shouyou, who was currently talking to Hitoka and Kageyama, and smiled at the couple as he wrapped his arm around Shouyou's waist. He grinned at Shouyou and then turned to the two before them.

"Mind if I steal him away for a while?" he asked and Hitoka giggled at him, her eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Go ahead," she allowed. "Just make sure you return him in one piece."

"I make no promises," Tetsurou winked, making her laugh even more, before he pulled Shouyou away from his friends.

Shouyou came with him without any protests, but when they stepped behind the wall that divided the dining hall from the small corridor leading to the bathrooms, he glanced up at Tetsurou curiously. No one paid them any attention, people too busy with their own conversations to care about them sneaking off.

"So where are we going?" Shouyou asked and Tetsurou only smirked.

"Somewhere where we won't be disturbed," he replied.

They slipped into the men's bathroom. The two stalls inside were empty, so Tetsurou locked the front door behind him and turned to Shouyou, who was already smiling back at him, eyes alight.

"So..." Shouyou started.

"So," Tetsurou grinned at him, stepping in close until Shouyou's back was against the bathroom wall.

It was a little cramped, but it was enough for what Tetsurou had planned. He dipped his head down, and Shouyou readily angled his up to meet him halfway. Their lips touched, chests brushed and hands found purchase in each other's clothes. Shouyou tasted sweet, like the cake they had earlier and Tetsurou drank it away like the best liquor. He pressed himself closer to Shouyou, humming in his throat without breaking the kiss when Shouyou's hand slid up to his neck. Fingers pulled at the small hair on his nape, a gesture needy and possessive enough to make Tetsurou's insides warm up.

He swiped his tongue over Shouyou's lower lip. The sweet cave of the other's mouth parted before Tetsurou with no hesitation. He flicked his tongue against Shouyou's, eliciting a small noise from the man. His hands that were resting until now on Shouyou's lower back moved, one pressing a little higher and dipping fingers into the sharp line of the spine, the other slipping into Shouyou's soft hair and pulling at it until Shouyou gave a small moan against Tetsurou's lips. He caught it greedily, sucking on Shouyou's bottom lip to hear that delicious sound again and ah, yes, _there it was_.

Peppering kisses against Shouyou's jaw line, Tetsurou moved to the side of his face. A kiss below the ear made Shouyou shiver and Tetsurou felt the answering rush wake up in his veins. He bit lightly into the tender skin of Shouyou's neck, more teasingly than to leave a mark. Grazing his teeth on it he moved to the bared throat, feeling Shouyou swallow when he swiped his tongue over it. The vibrations of Shouyou's groan sent a hot spike of desire to his lower abdomen and Tetsurou immediately straightened up. Like a leech, he pressed his mouth to Shouyou's.

Their kisses grew more heated and heavier faster than Tetsurou had anticipated, but he was too turned on to resist it. Especially when Shouyou was pulling him closer with each swipe of his tongue against Tetsurou's as if he wanted to mould their bodies into one by sheer pressure. Tetsurou could already feel the tightness of his pants and when Shouyou shifted and rubbed his hip into Tetsurou's crotch, Tetsurou let out a groan, unable to hold it in. It felt so good, after the whole day of waiting it felt so good to finally rub himself on something, anything. That it was Shouyou was only an added benefit.

Reaching down, Tetsurou popped the button of his pants and slid the zipper down. He kept them on his hips though, taking one of Shouyou's hands instead and guiding it over to his lower back. He slid it down the soft material of his shirt, the warmth of Shouyou's palm making him shiver in anticipation. When Shouyou's fingers dipped into the waistband of his underwear Tetsurou withdrew his hand and let Shouyou take it from there. And he did.

Tetsurou's breathing quickened when Shouyou's whole hand slid against his butt cheek, squeezing and fondling the flesh in a way that made Tetsurou's knees a little weaker. He kissed Shouyou when a groan was about to leave his mouth, muffling it with an eager pair of lips. It didn't took Shouyou long to notice what Tetsurou wanted him to see and when he did, he pulled back from the kiss, eyes bewildered and glowing with something Tetsurou couldn't name.

"What...?" Shouyou asked in a slightly raspy voice that made satisfaction purr in Tetsurou's chest.

Shouyou's fingers dipped lower, brushing against the edge of Tetsurou's asshole and the bottom of the plug that he had been wearing the whole day. Shouyou's fingers curiously prodded at it, pulled and moved it around, making Tetsurou shiver and give out a weak moan. He pressed himself closer to Shouyou, bending his back and thrusting up his ass to allow Shouyou a better reach.

"You've been wearing this the whole time?" Shouyou asked, curious and a little breathless.

Tetsurou pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his ear, whispering, "Who said I only had one present for you? Happy birthday, Shouyou."

Shouyou groaned, letting his head fall on Tetsurou's shoulder. Tetsurou huffed out a bout of amused laughter, but it died quickly when Shouyou's fingers circled the ring of the plug and his muscles clenched in anticipation. Sucking in a breath and bucking against Shouyou, he felt the other tense up against him. Slowly, Shouyou pulled out his hand, the waistband of Tetsurou's underwear snapping soundly against his skin in the silence of the bathroom.

"We're going to my place," Shouyou said.

"What? Now?" Tetsurou blinked at him in surprise, but Shouyou was already zipping up his pants. "Why?"

Tetsurou didn't expect rejection. It hurt a little, after all he opened up himself to Shouyou and it took a lot of courage to put a plug in for the whole day, but he did it and now... His cheeks warmed up against his will and he looked away. Shouyou had none of it though, as he pulled Tetsurou's face towards him. His eyes were glowing an intense amber, so bright they almost seemed gold.

"I want to unwrap my present carefully," Shouyou said, scratching lightly at Tetsurou's jaw. "It's much too precious to just open it where everyone can see, don't you think?"

Tetsurou's face turned an even deeper red, and Shouyou's lips quirked in an amused smile. He climbed to his tip toes, which was devastatingly cute, and kissed Tetsurou on the mouth quickly before pulling back.     

"I'll go say our goodbyes to everyone and you just get yourself together and then we'll leave," Shouyou ordered and Tetsurou could do nothing but nod dumbly.

When the door closed after Shouyou, he looked into the mirror, noticing his dishevelled clothes, messy hair and flushed cheeks. His heart was still racing and the plug was pressing even more firmly against his prostate and every step he took, every move he made, made him hyper aware of the thing filling him up.

Swallowing harshly, Tetsurou readjusted his clothes and hair. He took a few deep breaths to calm his heart and dull the ache of arousal. It worked for a few seconds only, because when he left the bathroom and saw Shouyou standing there and waiting for him, beautiful, ready and _his_ , it returned even stronger than before and all Tetsurou wished for was to already be at Shouyou's and have the man fill him with something much more satisfying than just a butt plug.

 

* * *

 

He was lying naked on Shouyou's bed, legs spread apart, face in the pillows and ass up in the air for Shouyou's viewing pleasure. And it must have been a very pleasing sight, because  compliments flew out of Shouyou's continuously.

"God, this looks so cute on you," he was saying as he settled behind Tetsurou, gently touching the red diamond heart which covered Tetsurou's asshole. "Where did you even get it?"

"Found it online," Tetsurou answered, shivering a little at the hands wandering over him. They rubbed at the back of his thighs, over his ass, and closer to his already hard dick, but never close enough to touch it. "Thought it'd be a nice gift to us both."

"Oh, it's more than nice," Shouyou assured him, his thumb pushing on the heart. The head of the plug slipped a little deeper into Tetsurou and he let out a shaky breath. "Now that you showed me this, I'm probably going to beg you to wear it at least once a week."

"If it gets you to fuck me then I'll gladly wear it every day," he returned, wiggling his ass a little. "Are you going to do it or not? I'm so ready for you, Shouyou..."

He moaned around the man's name, trying to trick him to do what he wanted, but Shouyou only chuckled behind him, the sound smooth and deep and so hot Tetsurou's thighs quivered a little.

"Patience, love," Shouyou said. "You're my present, it's up to me to decide how I'm going to enjoy you."

Tetsurou would have moaned again, but he wasn't given the chance because Shouyou pulled at the plug. Slow and light movements of the diamond heart made the tip of it, which was buried inside Tetsurou, move and with a gasp Tetsurou closed his eyes. It felt so good: the pressure against his prostate, the light circling movements that stretched him up even more, the smooth slide of steel against his insides. His muscles clenched on it and he gave in to the feeling.

Shouyou took his sweet time, playing with the plug. He turned it in every direction, plucked it out just the tiniest bit, only to let it sink back in, sucked by Tetsurou's greedy hole. It always brought out a groan from Tetsurou, the need for something more, something fuller and hotter, growing inside him. Shouyou's avalanche of compliments didn't stop and with a mantra of "You look so good, Tetsurou, that's so hot, if only you could see yourself, I'm so hard for you right now" he continued to push Tetsurou to his limits by fucking him with the plug.

When he pulled almost all of it out, Tetsurou's skin crawled in electric anticipation, but he was disappointed when Shouyou only pushed the plug back in. The bitterness lasted only for a second though, because the bulk of the plug hit his prostate more firmly than before and Tetsurou had to stifle a moan against the pillows. Soon, muffling them seemed useless, because Shouyou hit the spot every time he trusted the plug back in and Tetsurou could no longer control the obscene sounds he made. His dick throbbed with need, precum leaking from the tip as it brushed against the sheets from time to time, sending shivers and raising goosebumps on his skin.

"Shouyou," he moaned when his dick twitched again. He needed more, this wasn't enough, he wanted Shouyou to fuck him, stretch him, make him feel so much better with his hard, hot dick. "Please..."

Warm hands left him, but Tetsurou did not expect Shouyou to bow down and lick around the diamond heart. The moan that left his mouth was loud and would be embarrassing if Shouyou's tongue didn't feel so good licking and rubbing against the sensitive skin around Tetsurou's entrance. Shouyou fondled his balls without touching his dick and Tetsurou whined at the lack of attention, which made Shouyou chuckle and _wow_ , the huff of his breath against his sensitive and now wet skin should not feel that good.

Tetsurou was left breathing heavily and swallowing a moan after moan, hands fisted in the sheets and thighs quivering, until finally Shouyou bit him playfully on one cheek and pulled away. Anticipation, hot like fire licked at Tetsurou's insides and when he heard a condom packet being ripped open, he licked his lips. _Finally_.

He waited, hot, hard and ready, so ready his dick was twitching at the sound of the lube squirting out on Shouyou's hand. And then one of them was back on him, thumb pressing against the red diamond heart. Breath caught in Tetsurou's throat when Shouyou fully pulled out the plug, the gust of cold air making him shiver. It quickly turned into a shiver of delight though, because Shouyou was lining up the head of his dick at Tetsurou's stretched out hole. The moan that Tetsurou let out was long and closer to a whine, wet and high, but he couldn't care less. Shouyou's dick was filling him out as it slowly pushed inside him and frankly, Tetsurou forgot that anything could feel as good as this. Actually, he believed there was _nothing_ that could ever measure up to it.

When Shouyou was fully seethed inside him, bent over his back and breathing on Tetsurou's neck in shallow puffs, he craned his head to glance at him. Shouyou brushed his nose against Tetsurou's cheek and kissed his jaw, resting his hands on Tetsurou's hips to keep them still. Tetsurou didn't need much time to readjust to the feeling of having Shouyou inside him – wearing the plug all day definitely helped with that.

"This," Shouyou said when his breathing calmed down a little, "is officially my favourite birthday ever."

Tetsurou would probably reply with something smooth and intelligent and teasing, definitely playful and cheeky, but currently he was much more focused on the aching heat between his legs and the need to be fucked until he's satisfied. Instead of replying then, he clenched his muscles a bit around Shouyou, earning a groan from above.

"Alright, alright, you little minx," Shouyou relented. "Here's what you want, isn't it?"

He pulled out of Tetsurou a little and slid back in, the slickness of lube and previous preparation allowing him the full range of movement. Tetsurou moaned in approval and eagerly pushed his ass back against Shouyou. Their hips met in a steady rhythm, one that they were both familiar with and which made the contact even more pleasurable. The drag of the shaft inside him, the slap of skin against skin, their harsh breaths and moans mingling in the hot air of the room – everything made Tetsurou edge closer and closer to release.

Shouyou was fairing no better. His thrusts were quickly losing their steady pace and he was slamming into Tetsurou like there was no tomorrow. Tetsurou groaned in appreciation, his prostate abused to a degree when even the slightest brush against it had him shivering. Except it wasn't the lightest touches that spread out his insides, but powerful thrusts, which left Tetsurou a moaning, drooling mess amongst the pillows.  

When one of Shouyou's hands reached down to Tetsurou's dick, he could honestly say that he'd come even without being touched. But the tight warmth of Shouyou's palm was welcome and closing his eyes, Tetsurou gave in to the overwhelming sensations of his body. It took only a minute or two before he was coming, clenching around Shouyou tight, tighter than ever, and spilling himself on the white sheets and the hand that was jerking him through it.

Shouyou's hips never stopped. He fucked Tetsurou through the orgasm, taking deep delight in the helpless whimpers that Tetsurou couldn't stop as his oversensitive body was pushed over the edge. He came not long after, hips stuttering, thrusts getting jerky, and groaning loudly. Tetsurou gave a soft sound of approval when heat spread over his insides. Shouyou's laboured breathing was a sweet sound to listen to as Tetsurou waited for him to pull out.

With a hand propped next to Tetsurou's shoulder, Shouyou stayed still after he came, his dick still buried in Tetsurou's ass. Finally, he pressed a fleeting kiss to Tetsurou's shoulder blade before he pulled out of him. The feeling of loss immediately settled in Tetsurou's heart, but it didn't last long.

"What are yo–"

Tetsurou sucked in a harsh breath when Shouyou put the chilled now plug back inside him. Eyes scrunched close as Tetsurou fought the coldness, he could almost feel Shouyou's smugness on his sweaty skin. Opening one eye, he glared at the man.

"Sorry," Shouyou said lightly, his thumb caressing the red diamond heart and the sensitive skin around it. "I just love how it looks on you."

Well, Tetsurou could forgive him. He was generous after all.

He allowed his knees to slip out from under him and laid himself flat on the bed, sighing. Shouyou joined him soon after, but not before he kissed Tetsurou's lower spine, shoulder blade, shoulder and cheek. Tetsurou hid a small smile in the pillows. Their eyes met when Shouyou turned his head to the side, soft amber against tender gold.

"Thanks for the present," Shouyou said, smiling.

"You're very welcome," Tetsurou replied, shifting a little closer to steal some of Shouyou's warmth.

They rested in silence for a while, coming down from the height of pleasure. Shouyou slung his arm around Tetsurou's back, caressing his spine gently. Relaxed, happy and so satisfied, Tetsurou felt himself melting into his touch.

"I love you," he mumbled before he could even register that he was opening his mouth.  

"I love you, too," Shouyou immediately answered, pressing a kiss to Tetsurou's forehead.

Smiling to himself, in the arms of a man he loved and who loved him, Tetsurou fell asleep feeling safer than he would ever feel with anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it wouldn't be me if there was no sin now would it ;3c if ur interested in kuroo's plug [check this baby out](http://g01.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1bp4pIFXXXXcDXpXXq6xXFXXXw/Wholesale-50ps-lot-font-b-Heavy-b-font-font-b-Metal-b-font-Anal-Plug-Butt.jpg) bc damn it looks so cute I can't even  
> click next chapter for the epilogue!


	14. Epilogue - No rest for the wicked

Back at the party, Keiji was finishing up his drink. Hinata had left early and since Keiji didn't really have any reason to stay, he quickly downed the rest of his glass and got ready to leave as well. Before he could move from his table, though, someone blocked his way.

"You're Akaashi-san, correct?" a voice asked, and Keiji frowned.

He knew this kid. He was Hinata's cousin or something like that, Keiji wasn't sure, but he knew he was family. He nodded at the kid wordlessly, green eyes searching the unreadable face. The kid must have been more observant than Keiji gave him credit for, because he seemed to have read his mind.

"I'm Shouyou's cousin," he confirmed Keiji's suspicions. "My name's Kozume Kenma."

Keiji nodded. There was no need to introduce himself, since the other already knew who he was. However, it still didn't explain what Hinata's cousin could want with him.

"Can I help you, Kozume-kun?" he asked, a little curious about the kid's motive.

"Actually," Kozume smiled at him thinly, his eyes gleaming yellow in a way that seemed intriguing and a bit dangerous altogether. "I was thinking that _I_ might be able to help _you_."  

Keiji's eyebrows lifted up in surprise. Help him? With what?

Kozume cocked his head to the side, "I hear that you're single, Akaashi-san. I might know someone who would be interested in meeting you, if you're up to that."

Watching the light play in Kozume's eyes, Keiji felt like his world was suddenly shifting without his knowledge or blessing and he could do nothing but let it happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is it, this is the end of the matchmaker which was a wild ride for me from start to finish and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I'd like to thank everyone who supported me while I was writing it and to all of you who had read up till this point and even more to those who have left comments and words of encouragement through the months of posting - you guys are incredible and it's a real pleasure to write for you, thank you *sends love to all of yall*  
> I doubt I will whip out a new multichapter soon, but one day for sure ^u^)b  
> until then, my friends!


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